Raritan 911: Robocop

Carson

Sport Bacon
Team MTBNJ Halter's
I think @SpartaBard and @Norm and the Podcast jinxed the other half of my split-shift that worked Monday night.

At 0400, two local shithead heroin addicts* shot up (or snorted, not sure) while driving, nodded off, and crashed through a metal fence post. The fence post pierced into the car and contributed to breaking the leg of the female front seat passenger shithead. Officers arrived to find both shitheads high with obvious injuries but they both had self-extricated.

Both shitheads immediately told officers that they believed they were COVID-19 positive but had not been tested. Both were transported to the hospital by EMS. Officers processed the MVA scene then headed to the hospital to continue the investigation/interviews for potential criminal charges.

Officers arrived at hospital to find that the male driver shithead kept pulling off his surgical mask and purposefully coughing on any doctor/nurse that came into the room. After further investigation, the male shithead actually had no reason to believe he had COVID-19; the female shithead fit the criteria for being tested as she may actually have been exposed. Test pending. Detectives will subpoena the medical records for the DWI investigation.

Prosecutor's office was to be consulted on charges, as is now required in COVID-19 related charges. Looks like DWI, assauly by auto, terroristic threats, and causing false public alarm. They were looking to lodge (in county jail) the male shithead for his actions in the ED.

*Not all heroin addicts are shitheads; these two were shitheads who also use heroin.
 
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extremedave

Well-Known Member
Team MTBNJ Halter's
The Social Distance Warrior (SDW), latest scourge of Facebook. They used to be outraged over plastic bags and people without handicap plates in the blue spots. Now they have a new self proclaimed mission.

It was not me; I've been on midnights.

This FB post really pissed us off. The mayor and township administrator ended up calling the Chief to discuss closing the parks. Great, and when someone is in the park then what? The bottom line? All those kids live in the same house (a group home in town), so there was no need for social distancing. They are all together 24/7/365. Everyone assumes we are lazy/clueless/don't give a shit. How about we checked it out and it was fine?

I go back on dayshift on April 6. I can't wait to deal with the stupidity.
 

ekuhn

Well-Known Member
I think @SpartaBard and @Norm and the Podcast jinxed the other half of my split-shift that worked Monday night.

At 0400, two local shithead heroin addicts* shot up (or snorted, not sure) while driving, nodded off, and crashed through a metal fence post. The fence post pierced into the car and contributed to breaking the leg of the female front seat passenger shithead. Officers arrived to find both shitheads high with obvious injuries but they both had self-extricated.

Both shitheads immediately told officers that they believed they were COVID-19 positive but had not been tested. Both were transported to the hospital by EMS. Officers processed the MVA scene then headed to the hospital to continue the investigation/interviews for potential criminal charges.

Officers arrived at hospital to find that the male driver shithead kept pulled off his surgical mask and purposefully coughing on any doctor/nurse that came into the room. After further investigation, the male shithead actually had no reason to believe he had COVID-19; the female shithead fit the criteria for being tested as she may actually have been exposed. Test pending. Detectives will subpoena the medical records for the DWI investigation.

Prosecutor's office was to be consulted on charges, as is now required in COVID-19 related charges. Looks like DWI, assauly by auto, terroristic threats, and causing false public alarm. They were looking to lodge (in county jail) the male shithead for his actions in the ED.

*Not all heroin addicts are shitheads; these two were shitheads who also use heroin.

So does that mean you are pulled up from "Standby" to "Active"?
 

ilnadi

Well-Known Member
They were looking to lodge (in county jail) the male shithead for his actions in the ED.
Ironically, just like the guy who coughed on the cashier at Wegmans and claimed he had the virus, now he may actually get it during his "lodging".

The Social Distance Warrior (SDW), latest scourge of Facebook. They used to be outraged over plastic bags and people without handicap plates in the blue spots. Now they have a new self proclaimed mission.
we need a "God, I love FB" thread
 

Carson

Sport Bacon
Team MTBNJ Halter's
So does that mean you are pulled up from "Standby" to "Active"?

No thankfully they handled it and let me sleep! She was asymptomatic so unless she comes back positive, I think those officers will continue to work. They also had limited contact with her (no custodial arrest since she was injured) and didn't even transport her in a patrol car.
 

Carson

Sport Bacon
Team MTBNJ Halter's
Update.

Female shithead's test was negative.

Male shithead was also on probation for some sort of theft or burglary. His probation officer violated him so he will be doing some involuntary social distancing for awhile.
 

roc

Well-Known Member
Update.

Female shithead's test was negative.

Male shithead was also on probation for some sort of theft or burglary. His probation officer violated him so he will be doing some involuntary social distancing for awhile.
Where are they putting new arrivals, solitary? Could you imagine having do deal with that guy everyday?
 

rick81721

Lothar
Update.

Female shithead's test was negative.

Male shithead was also on probation for some sort of theft or burglary. His probation officer violated him so he will be doing some involuntary social distancing for awhile.

hey tell our nextdoor neighbors to knock it off
 

Carson

Sport Bacon
Team MTBNJ Halter's
Where are they putting new arrivals, solitary? Could you imagine having do deal with that guy everyday?

@rottin' would know best. I drop prisoners at intake and never go inside. Usually, the general population proceeds to give me the finger through the partition while I wait. Good times.
 
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