The Heckle Report
- Thread starter The Heckler
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Mountain Bike Mike
Well-Known Member
AAAAAHHHHHH AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA,,,,,
The Heckler
You bring new meaning to the term SUCK
Been some time but I took Halloween weekend off for birthday/holiday activities then raced CSI the weekend after. No media to share and instead of another boring essay I decided to share nothing. In short I had a great time in the Valley and finished 14th & 10th on Saturday and Sunday.
Races 20 & 21 Cheshire CX - Cheshire, CT & Newtown CX - Newtown CT
It's seems a little sacrilegious racing "local races" in another state when there are in state races going on but Zach has family in CT and some of the team met from Mass to race.
Cheshire:
Cheshire CX is a GREAT course. half of it is in the woods, with a couple shreddy downhills with navigable roacks and roots with a couple of tricky corners. The crowning item is heckle hill which is what it sounds - a steep ass ridable (for most) hill with a bunch of drunks cheering. two years ago my avatar photo was taken there. I was close to DFL in the 1/2/3 race and was crowd favorite by a long stretch. I actually ended up on last years event fliers which were distributed to every car at Providence CX. Kinda a big deal.
Talking to Bigfoot pre-walking the hill. It's cool to be somewhere and have Bigfoot say "Hey, it's our favorite racer!"
ANYWAY, I only raced SS this year and ziptied the Wraith. Last lap I botched the sandpit and fell into 2nd and was ready to finish where I was until Brett crashed on the 2nd to last corner where I passed him and WON the SS Zanconato Series race. Pretty sweet accolade! I got a 12 pack of Harpoon which was shared and consumed during the following race, a Zank Series hoodie, a sweet Cheshire CX shirt and the radest trophy I've ever gotten.
Zach getting Watt-y up the hill in the 3/4.
Ty and Chadli! TEAM TIME!
Races 20 & 21 Cheshire CX - Cheshire, CT & Newtown CX - Newtown CT
It's seems a little sacrilegious racing "local races" in another state when there are in state races going on but Zach has family in CT and some of the team met from Mass to race.
Cheshire:
Cheshire CX is a GREAT course. half of it is in the woods, with a couple shreddy downhills with navigable roacks and roots with a couple of tricky corners. The crowning item is heckle hill which is what it sounds - a steep ass ridable (for most) hill with a bunch of drunks cheering. two years ago my avatar photo was taken there. I was close to DFL in the 1/2/3 race and was crowd favorite by a long stretch. I actually ended up on last years event fliers which were distributed to every car at Providence CX. Kinda a big deal.
Talking to Bigfoot pre-walking the hill. It's cool to be somewhere and have Bigfoot say "Hey, it's our favorite racer!"
ANYWAY, I only raced SS this year and ziptied the Wraith. Last lap I botched the sandpit and fell into 2nd and was ready to finish where I was until Brett crashed on the 2nd to last corner where I passed him and WON the SS Zanconato Series race. Pretty sweet accolade! I got a 12 pack of Harpoon which was shared and consumed during the following race, a Zank Series hoodie, a sweet Cheshire CX shirt and the radest trophy I've ever gotten.
Zach getting Watt-y up the hill in the 3/4.
Ty and Chadli! TEAM TIME!
Attachments
The Heckler
You bring new meaning to the term SUCK
Newtown CX
This race was on the way home off 84 so we decided to stop! The course was kinda funny as it was on the grounds of an abandoned mental institution. The property seems to be in the middle of being re-purposed with a couple buildings redone and several recreational fields being used. The course still wound its way around the creepy old buildings giving a spooky feel and providing a wonderful backdrop. I raced the 3/4 with Zach which was the last of the day. There were a couple familier King Kog faces as well as Brett from the day before. Everyone was in good spirits at the start which always makes for a fun race.
Left hander into the barriers was a disadvantage for me, but I kept em smooth.
Cameron (2015 JAM grant recipient) and I began to gap 3rd a few laps into the 6 lap race. The course was kinda sparsely taped and twisted blind corners around several buildings. SUPER KEWL.
There was a weird half mile slighlty downhill paved straight in the woods. It was a location of several dog walkers. It was untaped with exception to the ends. I came through pulling at 30 twice panicking while yelling as politely as possible at dog walkers who were in the middle of the road. Some course tape or an extra marshal would have really helped. I apologized each time.
I went wide around the last corner and Cameron passed on the inside. He led into the sprint and won by a wheel. There were 4 tents and 312 white lines so I really had no idea where the finish was.
Lead group racing is fun for the conversation. The kid was a senior touring colleges. We talked JAM grant a little and colleges. I coached him through a couple corners and ended up doing a lot of the pulling work which I really didn't mind.
Podium!
BEARD REPORT:
I went throwback 2013 and shaved the beard keeping the mustache for handlebars after Halloween. Also, used beard for my costume which was Gorton's Fisherman. Went over great. All guys nailed it right away, 75% of women guessed Paddington bear. Wrong color coat, BUT WHAT DO I KNOW?!
Still left:
Supercross 2/3/4 Days 1 & 2
NBX Cat 3 Days 1 & 2
Ice Weasels Cat 3 (Unless I can change my reg to SS)
Cross isn't over until I say so. And even when I say so cross isn't over until @seanrunnette says so.
This race was on the way home off 84 so we decided to stop! The course was kinda funny as it was on the grounds of an abandoned mental institution. The property seems to be in the middle of being re-purposed with a couple buildings redone and several recreational fields being used. The course still wound its way around the creepy old buildings giving a spooky feel and providing a wonderful backdrop. I raced the 3/4 with Zach which was the last of the day. There were a couple familier King Kog faces as well as Brett from the day before. Everyone was in good spirits at the start which always makes for a fun race.
Left hander into the barriers was a disadvantage for me, but I kept em smooth.
Cameron (2015 JAM grant recipient) and I began to gap 3rd a few laps into the 6 lap race. The course was kinda sparsely taped and twisted blind corners around several buildings. SUPER KEWL.
There was a weird half mile slighlty downhill paved straight in the woods. It was a location of several dog walkers. It was untaped with exception to the ends. I came through pulling at 30 twice panicking while yelling as politely as possible at dog walkers who were in the middle of the road. Some course tape or an extra marshal would have really helped. I apologized each time.
I went wide around the last corner and Cameron passed on the inside. He led into the sprint and won by a wheel. There were 4 tents and 312 white lines so I really had no idea where the finish was.
Lead group racing is fun for the conversation. The kid was a senior touring colleges. We talked JAM grant a little and colleges. I coached him through a couple corners and ended up doing a lot of the pulling work which I really didn't mind.
Podium!
BEARD REPORT:
I went throwback 2013 and shaved the beard keeping the mustache for handlebars after Halloween. Also, used beard for my costume which was Gorton's Fisherman. Went over great. All guys nailed it right away, 75% of women guessed Paddington bear. Wrong color coat, BUT WHAT DO I KNOW?!
Still left:
Supercross 2/3/4 Days 1 & 2
NBX Cat 3 Days 1 & 2
Ice Weasels Cat 3 (Unless I can change my reg to SS)
Cross isn't over until I say so. And even when I say so cross isn't over until @seanrunnette says so.
Attachments
Mountain Bike Mike
Well-Known Member
All the racing stuff is excellent as usual
BUT
Kudos on the Big foot pic.. So MUCH funny in that pic.
Girly Zebra tights
Your mustache
Bigfoot
The girl looking happy with the bigfoot hat on
The body language of all three...
Your mustache
Priceless shit here man
YOUR MUSTACHE... I can't take you serious at all with that thing. If you were really mad at me and wanted to beat my ass, I still don't think I could stop laughing. You topped your Muppet look by a thousand.
Don't ever change dude... Hilarious!
BUT
Kudos on the Big foot pic.. So MUCH funny in that pic.
Girly Zebra tights
Your mustache
Bigfoot
The girl looking happy with the bigfoot hat on
The body language of all three...
Your mustache
Priceless shit here man
YOUR MUSTACHE... I can't take you serious at all with that thing. If you were really mad at me and wanted to beat my ass, I still don't think I could stop laughing. You topped your Muppet look by a thousand.
Don't ever change dude... Hilarious!
The Heckler
You bring new meaning to the term SUCK
Mike, I'm happy you appreciate the mustache and general shenanigans. ARE YOU RACING SUPERCROSS???
Dutch Frog
Member
We're racing asbestos we can!
The Heckler
You bring new meaning to the term SUCK
In hindsight it's pretty obviously the white line with the orange cone by it.
Which orange cone? The last one on the left before the tent? The one on the right across from the tents, or the one on the left after the tents?
Ah... I see what you did there.
Pearl
THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING
Which orange cone? The last one on the left before the tent? The one on the right across from the tents, or the one on the left after the tents?
Ah... I see what you did there.
The Heckler
You bring new meaning to the term SUCK
Driving up alone to Supercross this weekend both days.
Up for a throwback and will be racing before noon. Woo. 2/3/4 goes off at 10:45AM which is kinda exciting in that maybe I can get home before 2 which still only leaves me two hours of light so I will probably stick around since I have no other plans.
I wrote this two years ago and I think only shared it shortly before setting it to private on my Tumblr photo page. Here it is in the Heckle Report for the first time (I think). It was written with a non-cycling audience in mind.
____________________________________________
11-24-2013
Rambling of my Supercross Cup Day 2 Mens 3/4 (B-) Race.
Today was cold. Really cold. The kind of cold that you can feel in your teeth. I drove up to Bear Mountain with Zach for the second day of Supercross Cup and pulled into the lot around 10am. It was around 22 deg F with a steady 20 mph wind. I left Morristown wearing my race socks, smart wool socks, race top and bottom base layers, waffle thermal bottoms (my trusty “saggy butts”), jeans, a sweater, a coat, my long finger race gloves, duck boots and my red $5 “wool” hat. Underdressed. As soon as I opened the car door and felt the blustery wind I knew it would be a long day. The three minute job of putting my wheels on the bike turned my fingers purple and took away all sensation. Unscrewing my presta valves to set my tire pressure proved to be very difficult job since my Flav-O-Pop fingers were about as useful as chopsticks might be shoveling snow. Luckily our friend Wilis invited us to his girlfriends heated (and spacious) van. This may have been the most rad van I’ve had the opportunity to hang out in yet. Julia uses it as her base for community art and crafts in Brooklyn and it is decorated with small drawings and projects. Pretty awesome whip.
Zach lined up at 11:45 for the 2-3-4 race. I made it about 3 laps outside cheering then decided I should take the opportunity to use the warm van to change into may race kit. Cyclists are a funny group. We don our colorful skin tight wind cheating spandex and ride around our velocipedes padded shorts and all. Cyclocross racers lie somewhere on one of the tails of the bell curve. We show up to race in the most extreme conditions wearing about the same spandex (maybe plus a couple layers). Today I left the Art-Van in my top and bottom base layers (spandex) leg warmers (slightly thicker fleece lined spandex) my short leg long sleeve skin suit (spandex), long sleeve fleece lined spandex riding coat, fleece lined spandex gloves and Goretex hat. Typing it all out makes it sound like a lot but I assure you compared to my previous outfit (underdressed as it was) I felt as good as naked. Luckily everyone else racing was in the same boat (with exception to one gentleman who raced in a shark costume - “doing cross right”).
One of the difficulties with not being the first race is figuring out warm ups. Pre-riding takes place during the small window between races. As the leaders cross the finish line somewhere shortly down the way there are hoards of people jumping onto the course to get some time in. Much before your race it is important to pre-ride to learn the course just to learn the lines and familiarize yourself with all of the obstacles. In the hour leading up to the race it is then necessary to get a proper warm up in. Some people ride next to the course, some spin up and down the road and some jump on the stationary trainer. Today was generally difficult for any method I tried. The wind was just too brutal. The only thing that did it was actually riding the course. The slower pace required to navigate corners and climb hills did the trick well. So well in fact I began to overheat my torso. My digits however felt differently. The toe vents in my shoes which work so well during the summer months work even better in the winter. My gloves also more designed for that mid 40’s and no wind temperature range.
There was enough time after the Elite for one warm up lap. I went out and gave a reasonably paced effort and heated up decently well. The ¾ group stood around for around 10 minutes before call ups. My second row call up turned into first thanks to some no shows (did I mention how cold it was?). One thing I’ve gotten noticeably decent at is starts. I manage to get quick jumps and clip in fast. I however cannot sustain said starts. I jumped out second behind the Team Yacht Club rider who won the hole shot. I then fell back to 6th or so when we hit the woods. O well, being out front sucks anyway right? I channeled my mountain bike skillz and muscled by two riders on the short uphill. 4th. I was sitting on Chris Pino’s Wheel from The 5th Floor. With a Kruis CX guy in 2nd and Alex from Brown in the lead. Donnie from King Kog and Team Yacht Club Dude were behind me. The second lap was the same for the front 4. Coming across the line the second time I looked up to see a 4. Four laps to go. Six total. I was hoping for a 3, but maybe I’m just lazy. Through lap 3 the front two started to pull away slowly but were still in reach. Chris in I started to pull a gap on the guys behind us. Coming down the quick downhill Chris cooked it a little hot and almost lost it in the trench at the bottom. I watched him snag some tape, rip around a course pole and in the end… SAVED IT. I got back on his wheel and let him know it was the radest save I’ve seen in a while. Over my season I’ve learned a little about racing and not just redlining the whole time until you detonate. Chris is a rider I know decently well. We have lined up 11 times against one another and into today he had two wins over me for the year. I know he is pretty fast, but comparatively so am I. Chris and I fell behind the front two more but also pulled ahead of the guys behind us. I decided my race was the race for 3rd.
I had a few opportunities I would have taken earlier in the year to pass but it was also too early and I know I may have blown up trying to pull away, or made a dumb mistake rushing a corner. I spent a couple laps testing the waters. I knew where Chris pulled away and where I ate up bike lengths. I was waiting for a good opportunity. A slip up from Chris. 5th lap Chris slowed on the rooty off camber section before the barriers. At the barrier itself I was a half step behind him. He tagged the barrier with his toe, he was getting tired. I attacked. We were both cold and tired. We were neck and neck getting on the saddle but I clipped in quicker and had the inside advantage around the corner. I got by and opened up the throttle. The final lap I slowly pulled away from Chris. Don’t fuck up Matt. I managed to hold it together over the line. 3rd.
I bolted to the car ripped off my shoes and threw on some jeans, my boots and my jacket. I ran back over to the finish for the post race chat with everyone. One of my favorite parts about this sport is the community. Everyone I’ve met is just so happy to be racing bikes. There is nowhere easier to start a conversation with a complete stranger.
We did the podium and I hopped into the Grand Marquis(no heat) and aimed the car at home. Zach snagged a ride to the city to meet family for dinner so I was driving alone. The sky on the ride home was fantastic. With Broken Social Scene 7/4 Shoreline blasting just below bass cutout volume I watched the sky open up to another spectacular November sunset. The sky a little above the horizon was a light celeste, and at the horizon a deep red. The purple clouds were back lit and glowing bright orange at the edges. Surreal.
_____________________________
My openers will hopefully be rebuilding the Epic's fork tonight.
I'm thinking I'm gonna embro up tomorrow. I miss that smell.
Up for a throwback and will be racing before noon. Woo. 2/3/4 goes off at 10:45AM which is kinda exciting in that maybe I can get home before 2 which still only leaves me two hours of light so I will probably stick around since I have no other plans.
I wrote this two years ago and I think only shared it shortly before setting it to private on my Tumblr photo page. Here it is in the Heckle Report for the first time (I think). It was written with a non-cycling audience in mind.
____________________________________________
11-24-2013
Rambling of my Supercross Cup Day 2 Mens 3/4 (B-) Race.
Today was cold. Really cold. The kind of cold that you can feel in your teeth. I drove up to Bear Mountain with Zach for the second day of Supercross Cup and pulled into the lot around 10am. It was around 22 deg F with a steady 20 mph wind. I left Morristown wearing my race socks, smart wool socks, race top and bottom base layers, waffle thermal bottoms (my trusty “saggy butts”), jeans, a sweater, a coat, my long finger race gloves, duck boots and my red $5 “wool” hat. Underdressed. As soon as I opened the car door and felt the blustery wind I knew it would be a long day. The three minute job of putting my wheels on the bike turned my fingers purple and took away all sensation. Unscrewing my presta valves to set my tire pressure proved to be very difficult job since my Flav-O-Pop fingers were about as useful as chopsticks might be shoveling snow. Luckily our friend Wilis invited us to his girlfriends heated (and spacious) van. This may have been the most rad van I’ve had the opportunity to hang out in yet. Julia uses it as her base for community art and crafts in Brooklyn and it is decorated with small drawings and projects. Pretty awesome whip.
Zach lined up at 11:45 for the 2-3-4 race. I made it about 3 laps outside cheering then decided I should take the opportunity to use the warm van to change into may race kit. Cyclists are a funny group. We don our colorful skin tight wind cheating spandex and ride around our velocipedes padded shorts and all. Cyclocross racers lie somewhere on one of the tails of the bell curve. We show up to race in the most extreme conditions wearing about the same spandex (maybe plus a couple layers). Today I left the Art-Van in my top and bottom base layers (spandex) leg warmers (slightly thicker fleece lined spandex) my short leg long sleeve skin suit (spandex), long sleeve fleece lined spandex riding coat, fleece lined spandex gloves and Goretex hat. Typing it all out makes it sound like a lot but I assure you compared to my previous outfit (underdressed as it was) I felt as good as naked. Luckily everyone else racing was in the same boat (with exception to one gentleman who raced in a shark costume - “doing cross right”).
One of the difficulties with not being the first race is figuring out warm ups. Pre-riding takes place during the small window between races. As the leaders cross the finish line somewhere shortly down the way there are hoards of people jumping onto the course to get some time in. Much before your race it is important to pre-ride to learn the course just to learn the lines and familiarize yourself with all of the obstacles. In the hour leading up to the race it is then necessary to get a proper warm up in. Some people ride next to the course, some spin up and down the road and some jump on the stationary trainer. Today was generally difficult for any method I tried. The wind was just too brutal. The only thing that did it was actually riding the course. The slower pace required to navigate corners and climb hills did the trick well. So well in fact I began to overheat my torso. My digits however felt differently. The toe vents in my shoes which work so well during the summer months work even better in the winter. My gloves also more designed for that mid 40’s and no wind temperature range.
There was enough time after the Elite for one warm up lap. I went out and gave a reasonably paced effort and heated up decently well. The ¾ group stood around for around 10 minutes before call ups. My second row call up turned into first thanks to some no shows (did I mention how cold it was?). One thing I’ve gotten noticeably decent at is starts. I manage to get quick jumps and clip in fast. I however cannot sustain said starts. I jumped out second behind the Team Yacht Club rider who won the hole shot. I then fell back to 6th or so when we hit the woods. O well, being out front sucks anyway right? I channeled my mountain bike skillz and muscled by two riders on the short uphill. 4th. I was sitting on Chris Pino’s Wheel from The 5th Floor. With a Kruis CX guy in 2nd and Alex from Brown in the lead. Donnie from King Kog and Team Yacht Club Dude were behind me. The second lap was the same for the front 4. Coming across the line the second time I looked up to see a 4. Four laps to go. Six total. I was hoping for a 3, but maybe I’m just lazy. Through lap 3 the front two started to pull away slowly but were still in reach. Chris in I started to pull a gap on the guys behind us. Coming down the quick downhill Chris cooked it a little hot and almost lost it in the trench at the bottom. I watched him snag some tape, rip around a course pole and in the end… SAVED IT. I got back on his wheel and let him know it was the radest save I’ve seen in a while. Over my season I’ve learned a little about racing and not just redlining the whole time until you detonate. Chris is a rider I know decently well. We have lined up 11 times against one another and into today he had two wins over me for the year. I know he is pretty fast, but comparatively so am I. Chris and I fell behind the front two more but also pulled ahead of the guys behind us. I decided my race was the race for 3rd.
I had a few opportunities I would have taken earlier in the year to pass but it was also too early and I know I may have blown up trying to pull away, or made a dumb mistake rushing a corner. I spent a couple laps testing the waters. I knew where Chris pulled away and where I ate up bike lengths. I was waiting for a good opportunity. A slip up from Chris. 5th lap Chris slowed on the rooty off camber section before the barriers. At the barrier itself I was a half step behind him. He tagged the barrier with his toe, he was getting tired. I attacked. We were both cold and tired. We were neck and neck getting on the saddle but I clipped in quicker and had the inside advantage around the corner. I got by and opened up the throttle. The final lap I slowly pulled away from Chris. Don’t fuck up Matt. I managed to hold it together over the line. 3rd.
I bolted to the car ripped off my shoes and threw on some jeans, my boots and my jacket. I ran back over to the finish for the post race chat with everyone. One of my favorite parts about this sport is the community. Everyone I’ve met is just so happy to be racing bikes. There is nowhere easier to start a conversation with a complete stranger.
We did the podium and I hopped into the Grand Marquis(no heat) and aimed the car at home. Zach snagged a ride to the city to meet family for dinner so I was driving alone. The sky on the ride home was fantastic. With Broken Social Scene 7/4 Shoreline blasting just below bass cutout volume I watched the sky open up to another spectacular November sunset. The sky a little above the horizon was a light celeste, and at the horizon a deep red. The purple clouds were back lit and glowing bright orange at the edges. Surreal.
_____________________________
My openers will hopefully be rebuilding the Epic's fork tonight.
I'm thinking I'm gonna embro up tomorrow. I miss that smell.
I see nothing in what you just posted. Is this some kind of Friday joke?