Raritan 911: Robocop
- Thread starter Carson
- Start date
This is the proper answer. Cars are designed to be driven.
Ruined. I'll give you $20,000 cash for it.
Cross examination.......
That made me.laugh out loud on ferry this.morningCross examination.......
If the panties don't fit, you must acquit.
Panties Story #2
Tuesday at 7pm in that rainstorm, one of the young officers (we'll call him Officer M for Millennial) was dispatched to a car versus pedestrian collision on 202. After a few more minutes, dispatch advised that a helicopter was on stand by based on the injury reports, so my sergeant and I went to assist.
The boss and I walk up to the scene. The pedestrian, a 60 year old male, was struck at about 20-30MPH while jaywalking and is hurt fairly seriously, but EMS is already treating him and he's alert (mostly) and conscious.
Sergeant to Officer M: What do you need?
M: Well, um, I think we should get a detective out here to photograph the scene and talk to witnesses.
S: Ok I'll call a detective out. Did you speak with the pedestrian?
M: Um, yeah a little. He's...well he's a little off.
S: What does that mean?
M: Well...he's either drunk or crazy.
S: Those are two very different things. Which is he?
M: I don't know. I think he's just different.
S: Different how?
M: Um...
I walk over to the back of the ambulance and look at the pedestrian on the stretcher. He's definitely different. I speak with EMS who say he has a significant head injury and they are transporting him by ground to Capital Health Trenton. Due to the weather, the NJSP helicopter will not fly. Neither I nor any of the EMS crew smell any alcohol on his breath.
I walk back over to the Sergeant and Officer M who are still talking.
Me: Yeah Sarge, the pedestrian's not drunk. I can however confirm that he is a little different.
S: Alright. Dave help Officer M here and I'll assist with traffic at the intersection.
Me: Okay.
Me (to M): Why wouldn't you just tell Sarge what you saw?
M: I dunno. I didn't think it's relevant.
Me: It's why you think he's different, right?
M: Yeah.
Me: Are you going to put it in the report?
M: Jeez, I don't know. Should I?
Me: Well let me ask you this...does a pedestrian's clothing color affect a driver's visibility?
M: Yeah definitely.
Me: Then this seems relevant, no?
M: Yeah, I guess so.
Me: Then it goes in the report.
M: Okay.
Officer M is still working on the report but I cannot wait until he submits it for review and my Sergeant reads it. It will state that the pedestrian was wearing bright pink women's panties over his black sweatpants. Not sure what he's going to do with that.
MORAL: When you decide to wear your wife's or girlfriend's panties out on the town, make sure you don't get hit by a car.
Tuesday at 7pm in that rainstorm, one of the young officers (we'll call him Officer M for Millennial) was dispatched to a car versus pedestrian collision on 202. After a few more minutes, dispatch advised that a helicopter was on stand by based on the injury reports, so my sergeant and I went to assist.
The boss and I walk up to the scene. The pedestrian, a 60 year old male, was struck at about 20-30MPH while jaywalking and is hurt fairly seriously, but EMS is already treating him and he's alert (mostly) and conscious.
Sergeant to Officer M: What do you need?
M: Well, um, I think we should get a detective out here to photograph the scene and talk to witnesses.
S: Ok I'll call a detective out. Did you speak with the pedestrian?
M: Um, yeah a little. He's...well he's a little off.
S: What does that mean?
M: Well...he's either drunk or crazy.
S: Those are two very different things. Which is he?
M: I don't know. I think he's just different.
S: Different how?
M: Um...
I walk over to the back of the ambulance and look at the pedestrian on the stretcher. He's definitely different. I speak with EMS who say he has a significant head injury and they are transporting him by ground to Capital Health Trenton. Due to the weather, the NJSP helicopter will not fly. Neither I nor any of the EMS crew smell any alcohol on his breath.
I walk back over to the Sergeant and Officer M who are still talking.
Me: Yeah Sarge, the pedestrian's not drunk. I can however confirm that he is a little different.
S: Alright. Dave help Officer M here and I'll assist with traffic at the intersection.
Me: Okay.
Me (to M): Why wouldn't you just tell Sarge what you saw?
M: I dunno. I didn't think it's relevant.
Me: It's why you think he's different, right?
M: Yeah.
Me: Are you going to put it in the report?
M: Jeez, I don't know. Should I?
Me: Well let me ask you this...does a pedestrian's clothing color affect a driver's visibility?
M: Yeah definitely.
Me: Then this seems relevant, no?
M: Yeah, I guess so.
Me: Then it goes in the report.
M: Okay.
Officer M is still working on the report but I cannot wait until he submits it for review and my Sergeant reads it. It will state that the pedestrian was wearing bright pink women's panties over his black sweatpants. Not sure what he's going to do with that.
MORAL: When you decide to wear your wife's or girlfriend's panties out on the town, make sure you don't get hit by a car.
rlb
Well-Known Member
That's why I stick to Flemington when I'm in the area. Straight down main Street and up Thatcher's Hill, no one to mistake my head for a deer.
Karate Monkey
Well-Known Member
Hey man, don't judge. Antlers are expensive--you don't just pass up free antlers.
Did you ask where the rest of it was left?
you know she was probably grabbing that as a christmas gift. hope you weren't a scrooge.
She was coming from a butcher in Kingwood. I asked her to drop off some jerky in the spring in lieu of a summons last night.
You didn't just ask for some head?