Raritan 911: Robocop

1998

Man, how I have changed over the last 20 years.

I was in Fanwood, fresh off my field training program. So maybe 3 to 4 months under my belt. I was working with a senior officer, Russ, who had about 12 years on at the time. He had worked for NJ Transit PD in Newark Penn Station for a few years before taking a job in Fanwood. He was pretty seasoned as he had done some time with the Union/Essex Auto Theft Task Force, as well.

Russ stopped a vehicle on South Avenue for something (I don't recall why) at about 1am during the summer. I headed over to back him up. The vehicle Russ stopped and his patrol car were facing west. I came from the opposite direction and stopped on the opposite shoulder, facing east, and illuminated the driver with the spotlight on my patrol car. The driver's window on the vehicle Russ stopped was rolled down. So was my driver's window. Russ was already back in his patrol car, presumably checking documents or writing a summons.

In theory, this was good practice. I have a clear view of the driver while Russ can concentrate on what he is doing. Tactically, it's solid procedure.

The driver, a female, was obviously blinded by my spotlight. She tried shielding her eyes with her hand, but that wasn't working well. As I watched, she became increasingly annoyed with me. Eventually, she voiced her displeasure.

Driver: I can't see anything, man!
Me: I know.
Driver: What? I can't see, man!
Me: I know. You don't need to see anything and I don't want you to see anything.
Driver: Turn it off, man!
Me: No.
Driver: I'm getting out of the car.
Me: Do not get out of the car.
Driver: I'm getting out. I can't see shit.
Me: I'm advising you not to get out of the car. If you get out of the car I'll arrest you for obstruction.
Driver: Ha!

Driver exits her car. I exit my patrol car, walk across the street, advise the driver that she's under arrest, handcuff her without incident, escort her back across the street, and place her in the rear of my patrol car.

Russ is still working on the summons.

I get back in my patrol car, think about what I've just done, and feel confident it was a good decision and solid police work. I figure Russ will be happy with my course of action once he finishes writing the summons.

After another minute or two, Russ exits his patrol car, walks up to the driver's window of the vehicle he stopped, and sees it is empty. He looks over at me and sees the driver in the rear of my patrol car. Russ walks over to my patrol car.

Russ: What...uh...what the hell happened?
Me: She's under arrest for obstruction for getting out of her car. I told her not to get out.
Russ: Seriously?
Me: Well...yeah.
Russ: No, she's not. Get her out.
Me: No she didn't listen...
Russ: Get her out. Now.
Me: Um, ok.

I get her out of my patrol car.

Russ: Ma'am, I have no idea what happened while I was in my patrol car. Nor do I care. Dave, uncuff her.
Me: Ugh, ok.

I uncuff her.

Russ: I apologize. Officer Carson is brand new and a little overzealous. Here is your summons for (whatever). You are free to go.
Driver: Thank you, officer. (Glares at me)

Russ (to me): If you ever show up to one of my stops again and arrest MY driver, I will punch you in the face.

The driver left. Russ left. I stood around and reevaluated my career choice for a few minutes.
 
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Great stuff.

I recently ran into a woman who I taught in the first two years of my career. She's 41 now, and was very kind in telling her boyfriend all kinds of nice things about me and my teaching.

All I could say in reply was that I didn't know shit about teaching when she was in my classes, and the only thing I had in my favor was that I was very, very earnest.
 
Carson said:
We had a triple once. His nickname was Tiny. I think I have a picture of him somewhere. I'll look around.
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Tiny Eisenhower? Is he roughly our age (slightly older)? I went to high school with him if it's the same guy. His whole family was absurdly fat. Him, his brother, and his parents. It is absolutely no joke to say the family probably almost weighed a ton in total. Maybe they were not quite a ton, but 1500 pounds together would not be an unrealistic guess.

I imagine the guy who sold that family shocks for their car is living in a mansion somewhere right now.
 
Norm said:
Tiny Eisenhower? Is he roughly our age (slightly older)? I went to high school with him if it's the same guy. His whole family was absurdly fat. Him, his brother, and his parents. It is absolutely no joke to say the family probably almost weighed a ton in total. Maybe they were not quite a ton, but 1500 pounds together would not be an unrealistic guess.

I imagine the guy who sold that family shocks for their car is living in a mansion somewhere right now.
Click to expand...

I have no idea. Black male. Habitual shoplifter. I don't think he was from the area. He was probably 6'8" and 500 pounds.
 
Carson said:
I have no idea. Black male. Habitual shoplifter. I don't think he was from the area. He was probably 6'8" and 500 pounds.
Click to expand...

Not the same guy. There were virtually no black people in P-Burg. I think my class had 2: Matt & Tiffany. I imagine if you added them up they were about half of Tiny's size. I'm sure they steered clear of him for fear of being eaten.
 
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