Raritan 911: Robocop

[Blair]

In stark contrast to Jimmy's softer "policing in blazers", tonight I arrested a rather overweight guy on a traffic stop for some minor warrants out of a small agency in Burlington County. They wanted to take him into custody but couldn't spare the manpower for the hour-plus drive. We had a full shift so I agreed to meet them in Trenton for the hand-off and save them some time.

I quickly realized that one set of handcuffs wasn't going to cut it for my guy unless I separated his shoulder first. I called over another officer to link two sets of handcuffs together since it would be a bit of a ride for him. Another senior officer showed up. He's retiring next year and I never noticed his handcuffs before. Such a salty old veteran! I'm taking these out of his locker when he retires!

View attachment 49717

Can't you use your chain tool to extend those to fit? Great use for old chains.

 

[Mitch]

Its gold Jerry! Gold!

That's my Dad! Jerry Gold

 

[stb222]

I want to hear the follow up story to the emergency room tech that had to deal with the dildo-in-butt.

 

[Kaleidopete]

The could have just given her some of @gtluke s protein bars and let nature take it's course.
http://www.mtbnj.com/forum/threads/2017-ringwood-h2h-race-pictures.42030/#post-719341

 

[Carson]

I want to hear the follow up story to the emergency room tech that had to deal with the dildo-in-butt.

It's a shitty job. I'm glad I just got to take a look and then write about it.

 

[viper8315]

It's a shitty job. I'm glad I just got to take a look and then write about it.

LOL, pun intended, right?

 

[UtahJoe]

I want to hear the follow up story to the emergency room tech that had to deal with the dildo-in-butt.

My wife has told me these stories....This is like a fun and interesting day. They have a regular come in to her ER who enjoys swallowing light bulbs.

He was issued a summons and transported against his will to the hospital for evaluation and detox.

Nicely played...You ever want to get back at a drunken asshole...Just drop them off at an ER...preferably a busy one with people who are actually sick.

Step 1: how responsive is this person test? Unless your are blacked out drunk, one of these should make you scream
Step 2: Doesnt look like its safe for this guy to be walking to the bathroom....Lets shove a tube in his cock hole
Step 3: are you under 21? cool, we'll get in touch with your parents and let them know you are here and safe....naked other than this diaper we put you in so you dont piss or shit in our bed.
Step 3a: should you shit yourself in our bed, prepare to be taken to the chemical shower and power washed
Step 4: I suppose if we gave you an IV of fluids you would wake up feeling glorious...but, wheres the lesson in that? No you will wake up with the worst hangover in history and then realize there is a tube coming out of your dick.
Step 5: hope you have insurance

DONT go to the ER if your drunk....On the other hand....that drunken shit head you invited to your party who puked all over your house...he MUST get to the ER asap....tell them he wont stop pissing himself...then leave.

 

[JimN]

Note to self, don't ever get drunk at @UtahJoe's house.

 

[Carson]

My wife has told me these stories....This is like a fun and interesting day. They have a regular come in to her ER who enjoys swallowing light bulbs.



Nicely played...You ever want to get back at a drunken asshole...Just drop them off at an ER...preferably a busy one with people who are actually sick.

Step 1: how responsive is this person test? Unless your are blacked out drunk, one of these should make you scream
Step 2: Doesnt look like its safe for this guy to be walking to the bathroom....Lets shove a tube in his cock hole
Step 3: are you under 21? cool, we'll get in touch with your parents and let them know you are here and safe....naked other than this diaper we put you in so you dont piss or shit in our bed.
Step 3a: should you shit yourself in our bed, prepare to be taken to the chemical shower and power washed
Step 4: I suppose if we gave you an IV of fluids you would wake up feeling glorious...but, wheres the lesson in that? No you will wake up with the worst hangover in history and then realize there is a tube coming out of your dick.
Step 5: hope you have insurance

DONT go to the ER if your drunk....On the other hand....that drunken shit head you invited to your party who puked all over your house...he MUST get to the ER asap....tell them he wont stop pissing himself...then leave.

If that guy puts a light bulb in his ass, LMK.

Sternum rubs are awesome. Been using that old standby since working as an EMT at Bucknell. It works best on skinny white girls.

 

[Carson]

First call of the day.

 

[Zaskar]

First call of the day.

View attachment 50954

Is it Sunday already?

 

[w_b]

that is a copulatin' good deal

 

[MadisonDan]

Anyone got change of a $5?

 

[mattybfat]

Only a buck damn and I got married for what?

 

[Carson]

I tried to figure this out...

If it was originally SUNDAY FUNDAY...then was it a Buck a Suck?

I need to get a detective on this case. We are going to BLOW this case wide open.

 

[JimN]

 

[Zaskar]

I tried to figure this out...

If it was originally SUNDAY FUNDAY...then was it a Buck a Suck?

I need to get a detective on this case. We are gong to BLOW this case wide open.

Sunday Funday. Buck a Shuck.

I can't give up my sources.

 

[Patrick]

so the rumor about oysters is true?

 

[jmanic]

@Carson
Do you guys ticket cars with handicapped tags parked in regular spots when there are handicapped spots available?
Asking for a friend.

 

[Carson]

@Carson
Do you guys ticket cars with handicapped tags parked in regular spots when there are handicapped spots available?
Asking for a friend.

Seriously? No, that's not illegal my friend.