Raritan 911: Robocop

So now that i've had two beers....

The place should have been revealed so that more "witnesses" could be called upon. Just in case there was an offer of services.

Matt "HE HE" Lawrence

HE = happy ending, and he must have gone there more than once, otherwise it would have been an unauthorized employee, rather than the business......
 
fidodie said:
So now that i've had two beers....

The place should have been revealed so that more "witnesses" could be called upon. Just in case there was an offer of services.

Matt "HE HE" Lawrence

HE = happy ending, and he must have gone there more than once, otherwise it would have been an unauthorized employee, rather than the business......
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Man pat, you are living on the edge.
 
sorry for the real question..

Is there an NJ law for minimum distance you need to be from a cross walk to cross a street an it not be jaywalking?

Specifically if I'm 384 feet to the nearest crosswalk can I just cross the street or do I have to go 768 feet out of my way?
 
Officer Carson, Sir,

If @Norm runs me over crossing the street 384' from a crosswalk will my student loans be paid off while I'm eating through a tube or will I just be eating through a tube?

Thanks,
The Heckler
 
speaking of cross walks, the one on division street pisses me off. people thing they can just walk out in front of that one because its a cross walk. NO YOU HAVE TO HIT THE BUTTON FOR THE LIGHT TO CHANGE FIRST YOU ARE LUCKY YOU ARENT A HOOD ORNAMENT
 
If you are parked outside the local brothel and see @Norm run over @The Heckler while he is crossing the street 384' from a cross walk and at the same time @pearl hits someone who is in the opposite crosswalk but didn't hit the button for the light to change, which one do you go after?
 
pearl said:
speaking of cross walks, the one on division street pisses me off. people thing they can just walk out in front of that one because its a cross walk. NO YOU HAVE TO HIT THE BUTTON FOR THE LIGHT TO CHANGE FIRST YOU ARE LUCKY YOU ARENT A HOOD ORNAMENT
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Princeton Boro is the best as people think the cross walk means you have the right of way
 
The Heckler said:
sorry for the real question..

Is there an NJ law for minimum distance you need to be from a cross walk to cross a street an it not be jaywalking?

Specifically if I'm 384 feet to the nearest crosswalk can I just cross the street or do I have to go 768 feet out of my way?
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Good question. I'm not positive what the courts would say. The statute says that if there is a crosswalk provided at a signalled intersection, then you have to use it. But it doesn't specify how far away you'd need to be to consider it a requirement. It does also allow for mid-block crossings where no crosswalk is provided, so long as you yield to vehicles. Cross at your own risk. I find arguing and yelling at an officer if you get stopped will usually solve the situation amicably.

The Heckler said:
Officer Carson, Sir,

If @Norm runs me over crossing the street 384' from a crosswalk will my student loans be paid off while I'm eating through a tube or will I just be eating through a tube?

Thanks,
The Heckler
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Your best course of action in civil court is testifying that you can no longer grow a thick, full beard after all the road rash. That will probably get a jury to sympathize with you. I mean, it's your identity as a man at this point. Plus, Norm won't shave for court and will look like a cro-magnon. Best of luck.

pearl said:
speaking of cross walks, the one on division street pisses me off. people thing they can just walk out in front of that one because its a cross walk. NO YOU HAVE TO HIT THE BUTTON FOR THE LIGHT TO CHANGE FIRST YOU ARE LUCKY YOU ARENT A HOOD ORNAMENT
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Big city problems. Streetwalkers aren't worried about traffic signals. Ain't nobody got time fo' that.

soulchild said:
If you are parked outside the local brothel and see @Norm run over @The Heckler while he is crossing the street 384' from a cross walk and at the same time @pearl hits someone who is in the opposite crosswalk but didn't hit the button for the light to change, which one do you go after?
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I'm a public employee. Most likely I would just go home sick.
 
Two quickies from a 9-1-1 dispatcher for Hunterdon County. Both occurred yesterday. Animal people are the most reasonable people to deal with...

#1

Caller: There's a deer in the median of 202.
Dispatcher: Ok, is it hurt? What's it doing?
Caller: Eating grass.
Dispatcher: Yeah, they do that. So what's the issue?
Caller: I'm afraid the traffic will startle the deer and it will get hit.
Dispatcher: Yes, that is a possibility.
Caller: WELL, CALL ANIMAL RESCUE BEFORE THAT HAPPENS!!!
Dispatcher: Yeah, that's not the way it works.


#2

Caller: There is a cow near the road and it looks really sad.
Dispatcher: What?
Caller: The cow looks very sad. Maybe it's not eating or it's sick. Someone should check on it.
Dispatcher: Who?
Caller: I don't know, but someone must care about it!!
Dispatcher: Yes, probably the farmer who owns it.
Caller: MAYBE HE'S MISTREATING IT!!
(caller disconnected the call)
 
mattybfat said:
@davidcarson48 should of investigated both deer and cow, then shot them both. This should stop the stupid people calls.
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Not even close.

I shot an injured deer in front of Bed Bath and Beyond at like noon on Mother's Day a few years back. I mean, right in front of BB&B. Dozens of people watching. It was actually trying to get through the glass front doors, had a broken leg, and was bleeding all over the place. The thing was totally freaked out for some reason. Another officer cornered it, held it down, and I shot it right in the ear, mob style. The force of the gunshot popped it's eye out. People went bat-shit crazy. Crying, yelling at me. It was awesome. We pulled it all the way around the shopping center and threw it in the woods, leaving a trail of blood and eye parts along the sidewalk. The Chief's phone rang off the hook on Monday morning. PETA actually called, too.
 
davidcarson48 said:
Not even close.

I shot an injured deer in front of Bed Bath and Beyond at like noon on Mother's Day a few years back. I mean, right in front of BB&B. Dozens of people watching. It was actually trying to get through the glass front doors, had a broken leg, and was bleeding all over the place. The thing was totally freaked out for some reason. Another officer cornered it, held it down, and I shot it right in the ear, mob style. The force of the gunshot popped it's eye out. People went bat-shit crazy. Crying, yelling at me. It was awesome. We pulled it all the way around the shopping center and threw it in the woods, leaving a trail of blood and eye parts along the sidewalk. The Chief's phone rang off the hook on Monday morning. PETA actually called, too.
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Now it all makes sense. I went into that BB&B that day and I saw the trail of blood and fleshy bits; I asked a cashier what happened and she just said "no eye deer"
 
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