A Wookies return.....

Frank said:
So this week fucking rocked!!! I rode a lot more, feel better than I have in a while, my digestion is improving, and to cap it all off I got 2 rides in the woods in!!!! Saturday I rode with @Juggernaut , @cdrmtbiker , and @Bizarro at Allaire. It was short and slow but I really enjoyed the ride and the company. Today @Matt asked me to come to Clayton to chat about tm to some NICA kids, well the group was a lot bigger than I had imagined and really got into the theory behind what we do and why. Even the coaches were asking questions, it was awesome! To top it all off, I actually survived the ride and the climbing. I’m very happy to be alive right now!!!View attachment 199353View attachment 199354View attachment 199355View attachment 199356View attachment 199357View attachment 199358
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We have not met but I come to this thread sometimes when I feel the weight of life on my shoulders, and I can't imagine where you find the energy and spirit to move on. I am in awe of your resilience and mindset. I have a close friend that has recently received a pretty bleak diagnosis so it's been impacting me more and more but I try to find ways to lift his spirits and come here for some inspiration.

Hope its not too corny here and hope to meet you on a ride sooner than later and grab some of the positive vibes you send out.

#fuckcancer!
 
iman29 said:
We have not met but I come to this thread sometimes when I feel the weight of life on my shoulders, and I can't imagine where you find the energy and spirit to move on. I am in awe of your resilience and mindset. I have a close friend that has recently received a pretty bleak diagnosis so it's been impacting me more and more but I try to find ways to lift his spirits and come here for some inspiration.

Hope its not too corny here and hope to meet you on a ride sooner than later and grab some of the positive vibes you send out.

#fuckcancer!
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The best way to lift his spirits is to be there often, call often, text often, let him know he’s not alone. That’s the hardest part that I can imagine is being alone. But thanks to the hundreds of amazing friends I have, I never feel alone, I never feel the weight of the world on my shoulders. While a cancer diagnosis is NEVER good, I have come to terms with it and I realize that one day it might win and that’s reality. But I won’t let it drag me down and I will enjoy life and what it has to offer NOW! I will also fight as hard as I can, and I have considering it’s nearly taken my life twice so far. I live to be with my wife, dogs, my amazing friends and family, and my bikes! Getting back involved in the trail work community has really helped me, find what your friend is passionate about and help him be more involved…the joy will make a huge difference.

As I work to build back (yet again) my strength and stamina I am hoping that I will be able to hold Wookiee Rides soon and invite folk to join me. My rides are usually filled with silly humor, stupid jokes, and ball busting….just what everyone needs. But let’s make a ride happen sooner than later. I’m kind of bummed that it’s the start of my chemo week and I need to figure out how I’m going to squeeze rides in!!!!

And finally…….#fuckcancer

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After I posted this I realized I forgot one important part. Let your friend know that you love him and his presence on this earth is important to you. My friends have done this and it’s a powerful antidepressant. Not once have I felt the urge to end it, which is something the doctor is always asking about. We get to wrapped up in being manly that we lose sight of the importance of emotion….hug your friends and tell them how you feel today, tomorrow is only a dream.
 
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What a difference a day makes.....so I'm at the lab today and the doc walks in and hits me in the face with a baseball bat, your numbers are not improving. This is hard shit to wrap my head around considering how much better I felt last week. The cynic inside me is saying "it was too good to be true". So as I pick myself up off the floor I'm desperately trying to remember the other things he said to me. They really need to give me a chance to catch my breath and not burst into tears in front of everyone before they tell me about the other shit they want to try and pump into me. Sorry to be a downer, but this is the reality of my life and I'm trying to give you all as close to accurate account of it as possible. Big takeaway is this.......don't take anyone for granted in your life, cherish loved ones and friends, live for today, and don't let the little shit ruin your day.

I feel much better now that I've dumped this all on you all....thanks for that. Now to brush off my knees and move forward
 
Frank said:
What a difference a day makes.....so I'm at the lab today and the doc walks in and hits me in the face with a baseball bat, your numbers are not improving. This is hard shit to wrap my head around considering how much better I felt last week. The cynic inside me is saying "it was too good to be true". So as I pick myself up off the floor I'm desperately trying to remember the other things he said to me. They really need to give me a chance to catch my breath and not burst into tears in front of everyone before they tell me about the other shit they want to try and pump into me. Sorry to be a downer, but this is the reality of my life and I'm trying to give you all as close to accurate account of it as possible. Big takeaway is this.......don't take anyone for granted in your life, cherish loved ones and friends, live for today, and don't let the little shit ruin your day.

I feel much better now that I've dumped this all on you all....thanks for that. Now to brush off my knees and move forward
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I think you should get that doctor's baseball bat and break it on his back...sometimes a little manners wouldn't hurt, you know, Mr. 'big shot, I save lives' Doctor...regardless, it's great that you have this outlet and share your experiences through this, even though sometimes they're not great or even positive. In an entirely unscientific way I feel your attitude makes a lot of difference in the outcome of therapy, and you being able to enjoy your rides seems to be living proof to that. Never stop never stopping! Can't wait to spend some time down in the deep south with you, hopefully sooner than later. Time to dust off the fat bike yet?
 
serviceguy said:
I think you should get that doctor's baseball bat and break it on his back...sometimes a little manners wouldn't hurt, you know, Mr. 'big shot, I save lives' Doctor...regardless, it's great that you have this outlet and share your experiences through this, even though sometimes they're not great or even positive. In an entirely unscientific way I feel your attitude makes a lot of difference in the outcome of therapy, and you being able to enjoy your rides seems to be living proof to that. Never stop never stopping! Can't wait to spend some time down in the deep south with you, hopefully sooner than later. Time to dust off the fat bike yet?
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I couldn’t help but feel the same initially, but it also can’t be easy wearing his shoes either. I could never be an oncologist or work in an infusion lab either. Seeing life fading on a daily basis has to be so sad that you would have to put up a shield or get swallowed up by the misery. As I was writing my post earlier today, a poor woman was crying out loud as the put the needle in her for her infusion. Her poor son was there, trying to console her as she cried out in pain. I saw that and sat there, disgusted with myself for being a whiny little bitch.

But yes, let’s get the dust off those fat bikes and ride! Bikes save the world, my world at least.
 
Frank said:
The best way to lift his spirits is to be there often, call often, text often, let him know he’s not alone. That’s the hardest part that I can imagine is being alone. But thanks to the hundreds of amazing friends I have, I never feel alone, I never feel the weight of the world on my shoulders. While a cancer diagnosis is NEVER good, I have come to terms with it and I realize that one day it might win and that’s reality. But I won’t let it drag me down and I will enjoy life and what it has to offer NOW! I will also fight as hard as I can, and I have considering it’s nearly taken my life twice so far. I live to be with my wife, dogs, my amazing friends and family, and my bikes! Getting back involved in the trail work community has really helped me, find what your friend is passionate about and help him be more involved…the joy will make a huge difference.

As I work to build back (yet again) my strength and stamina I am hoping that I will be able to hold Wookiee Rides soon and invite folk to join me. My rides are usually filled with silly humor, stupid jokes, and ball busting….just what everyone needs. But let’s make a ride happen sooner than later. I’m kind of bummed that it’s the start of my chemo week and I need to figure out how I’m going to squeeze rides in!!!!

And finally…….#fuckcancer

@@@@edit@@@
After I posted this I realized I forgot one important part. Let your friend know that you love him and his presence on this earth is important to you. My friends have done this and it’s a powerful antidepressant. Not once have I felt the urge to end it, which is something the doctor is always asking about. We get to wrapped up in being manly that we lose sight of the importance of emotion….hug your friends and tell them how you feel today, tomorrow is only a dream.
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thanks I will call him tomorrow and this coming weekend I have plans to go see him and help him get ready for his house move - he's downsizing to a house on the lake to enjoy as many sunrises and sunsets as possible.
 
iman29 said:
thanks I will call him tomorrow and this coming weekend I have plans to go see him and help him get ready for his house move - he's downsizing to a house on the lake to enjoy as many sunrises and sunsets as possible.
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Good on ya bro!!!
 
It's amazing how a delivered message can be taken in weird ways. When I left the lab on Tuesday, I was distraught and thought that I was losing this battle. I was a little relieved that the doctor had a plan and other drugs, but just floored because I was actually feeling good. I felt really good yesterday as well which is odd because I usually feel pretty beat up on the day after chemo. So after not sleeping Tuesday night, I slept really good last night, which is a good thing. When I woke this morning I had to remind myself to have a discussion with Kevin about Tuesday's doctor visit for which Kevin was directly involved. But as I entered the lab, Kevin was ready for me with some GOOD fucking news.......Tuesday's blood work showed my CEA numbers had actually dropped to 3200. So we are going to continue with this current regimen and see how it plays out. But it is good to know that there is another course of action and other drug options to pursue should my numbers start to climb again. Kevin, my hero again!!

So all of this leads me to WTF happened on Tuesday??? This further demonstrates that you need an advocate with you when you have a serious illness and see the doctor. When you get hit with troubling news, everything else out of the docs mouth say's "you're dying" when he is , in fact, assuring me that HE is not done fighting for you. At least that is what happened in my case. What a relief. I was so distracted by the potential bad news that I totally took the rest the wrong way. Sorry if I was alarming in Tuesday's post, but that was real life fear and sadness I was going through. The rollercoaster moves on....
 
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Last week I gave out some advice and now I’m thinking I was spot on. I said to help a friend do something he loves and it will help tremendously. Well today I was doubting that we were get to work on the trails at Clayton Park due to the impending rain, but a big group showed up and we were able to get a lot of work done!!! Thanks to @pooriggy and @Matt had things ready to go and all we needed to do was get to work. Working this year with Matt, Iggy, and @Purl has been great for my mental health as well as my physical health as I “try” to help. So to sum up….if you are feeling down, go help a group at a TM session. It may leave you sore and tired,but it’s so worth it.
 
Frank said:
Last week I gave out some advice and now I’m thinking I was spot on. I said to help a friend do something he loves and it will help tremendously. Well today I was doubting that we were get to work on the trails at Clayton Park due to the impending rain, but a big group showed up and we were able to get a lot of work done!!! Thanks to @pooriggy and @Matt had things ready to go and all we needed to do was get to work. Working this year with Matt, Iggy, and @Purl has been great for my mental health as well as my physical health as I “try” to help. So to sum up….if you are feeling down, go help a group at a TM session. It may leave you sore and tired,but it’s so worth it.
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Heckin yea Frank. Good surrounds good. 🤘
 
Not to mention the great feedback from everyone I assigned to team @Frank for today's session!! So much knowledge to share, and my peoples are soaking it up!

Wookie might not be swinging Thors hammer these days, but he's laying down the wisdom like a boss.... Yoda Wookie?? 🤔
 
Thank you guys so much. I guess that’s the hardest part for me to wrap my head around is my physical limitations. Chemo leaves you weakened because it attacks rapidly growing cells, even good ones, so muscle building gets attacked too. Every change in my chemo cocktails has been met with a serious drop in strength and stamina. Lately I’ve been feeling pretty good as I’m noticing I can ride longer without stopping to catch my breath and even my pace has increased slightly. My ride on Thursday with @onetracker was awesome as we did a really nice ride and I didn’t feel drained. So when I get to a tm session, like I did yesterday, I am expecting to do what I used to be able to do and when I don’t I’m annoyed with myself. But I am improving!!! I didn’t spend much time parked on logs needing to recharge. I’ll just need to cut myself some slack on the physical part I guess. This is part of the process too as I move forward, I need to be patient with myself, keep enjoying the riding, keep enjoying the tm sessions, and try to prep myself for a few runs on the slopes this winter. I’ve missed the last 3 seasons on skis, so I am very determined to be able to do that this year. How badass would I be dragging an infusion pump behind me on a black diamond run. Lol
 
Frank said:
Thank you guys so much. I guess that’s the hardest part for me to wrap my head around is my physical limitations. Chemo leaves you weakened because it attacks rapidly growing cells, even good ones, so muscle building gets attacked too. Every change in my chemo cocktails has been met with a serious drop in strength and stamina. Lately I’ve been feeling pretty good as I’m noticing I can ride longer without stopping to catch my breath and even my pace has increased slightly. My ride on Thursday with @onetracker was awesome as we did a really nice ride and I didn’t feel drained. So when I get to a tm session, like I did yesterday, I am expecting to do what I used to be able to do and when I don’t I’m annoyed with myself. But I am improving!!! I didn’t spend much time parked on logs needing to recharge. I’ll just need to cut myself some slack on the physical part I guess. This is part of the process too as I move forward, I need to be patient with myself, keep enjoying the riding, keep enjoying the tm sessions, and try to prep myself for a few runs on the slopes this winter. I’ve missed the last 3 seasons on skis, so I am very determined to be able to do that this year. How badass would I be dragging an infusion pump behind me on a black diamond run. Lol
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I could so see this... I seemed to have seen all the wookie-ness in the years I have spent with you at allaire working on our trails there. I can only chuckle at the newbies when you do a quick walk thru and "yup the trail should go here" the looks on the faces.... and bamn 4 hours later we have a nice flow reroute.... yes we have all seen this happen....
 
Thanksgiving is a day to give thanks. We all have a lot to be thankful for that we often take for granted….family, friends, trails, and yeah even our jobs. Sadly I cannot work any longer, and I do miss it and the $$, but my time at home with my wife has been priceless. There is always tomorrow until you get bad news from a doctor and then it’s all about today……and today is turning out to be outstanding. I was able to ride this morning with my wonderfully patient friends who tolerate my pace and stops. They say it doesn’t matter what speed or how long we ride, but it does to me. It’s very frustrating to go from strong to weak to strong to weak just because of the chemicals I get….I think.
But back to today…we rode a section of trail that I had not been on before and with the leaf cover it required all my focus which is exactly what I needed. It was great to escape my life, even for the brief time I’m in the woods. After the ride I got home and helped the Mrs get the turkey stuffed and into the oven, which is something I don’t normally do but she’s nursing an injured wrist from an unfortunate treadmill accident. Now I’m sitting with my pups waiting for the bird to cook. Thrilling eh? But I’m alive! I’m feeling well enough to start planning things in the following months. Last year this time I was failing and by Christmas I was in real bad shape. My liver had stopped working efficiently and I was gaining water weight and I was real close to congestive heart failure. So to this point I’ve gotten 2 more thanksgivings, 2 more Christmas’ and I’m looking forward to turning 62 in May. I know it’s a bit of a stretch, but I’m sure I will make it. In the meantime I’m going to try to get stronger, ride more, go skiing this winter, spend more time with my friends and family….just enjoy being alive.
So when you start thinking that life is kicking your ass and you and yours are healthy….be extremely thankful for that because it means everything!
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