Ok, let's give it a shot...
Site:
http://www.my8ball.co.uk/
Question: Will I be able to get an off-road ride on one of my usual trails without damaging them in the process?
Answer: Yes, but contemplate on God now and again
What the fuck? Oh I see, it's a spiritual site. Ok, let me try something else...
Site:
http://8ball.tridelphia.net/
Damn, blocked by the work proxy.
Site:
http://lord.xopl.com/ulpage3a/8-ball.html
Question: Will I be able to get an off-road ride on one of my usual trails without damaging them in the process?
Answer: Yes
Ok, sweet. Looks like no matter who I ask, the spiritual gnomes or the standard Tyco magicians, this weekend looks like it could be a good one. Hmmm, now what about where to ride...
Site: Same
Question: Am I pushing my luck with Chimney Rock?
Answer: My answer is no.
Question: Really?
Answer: My sources say yes.
Question: Ok, what about Mahlon?
Answer: Don't count on it.
Question: Allamuchy?
Answer: Concentrate and ask again.
Question: No that's ok. What about Lewis Morris?
Answer: Don't count on it.
Question: So you're saying that the muddiest park in NJ is going to be the only place to go?
Answer: Maybe.
Question: Is it worth trying to find another park to ride?
Answer: Signs point to yes.
Question: What about Wawayanda?
Answer: Don't count on it.
Question: Ringwood?
Answer: Signs point to yes.
Question: Wait a second, are you just randomly throwing answers up at me?
Answer: You're going to die. (this is seriously what it answered)
Question: Hey fuck you too buddy. I don't think this is in the standard array of answers. I got a spiritual 8 ball I can go to which I'm sure won't predict my own demise. Would you prefer I went there?
Answer: Signs point to yes.
Question: Fine. Then be that way.
Answer: Don't count on it
Question: I'm not.
Yeah, not sure this is any better than my sorry ass predictions.