Official: 2017-2018 mtbNJ.com Fantasy Football League Thread - GUACAMOLE CUP WEEKEND!
- Thread starter Pearl
- Start date
Lol
Wonder if Rod Martin took "Jaws" out for dinner after his 3 interceptions in that SB!
elzoller
El Guac-Oh
WEEK 11 WRAP UP
Once again, your fill in host for this week....our leader @pearl is in a remote location which lacks:
A. Internet
B. ESPN
He is essentially camping and using leaves to wipes Jacksons ass
Anyway, I will do my best with the power rankings report for this all important week 11 wrap up.
Nothing too earth shattering this week in terms of wins and losses...The good teams did what they needed to do...As we can see, week 11...some owners got a little sleepy with their rosters and things got a bit TIGHT...but in the end, they came thru. The battle of the 4 seed continues as @elzoller put a serious dent in his playoffs chances, and @jnos jumping @jmanic to move up to 4 for the time being......Next week Guac and Jnos are playing head to head, while @jmanic will be playing the dumpster fire that is @Chris26er s bandicoots. Someone in this group of 3 needs to figure out a way to get to 8 wins.
Week 11 Power Rankings
1) @stb222 - Long Duck Dongs 9-2 (+2)
Soild outing for the dongs....Had to hang on by his fingernails and cover his eyes as the Blair Walsh Projects 50+ yard FG attempt fell about 1 yards shy of the crossbar....Had that game gone to OT, I think Kevy would have gone down....That said, 121 points...42 more on the bench with a dead rodgers and 2 guys on bye...plus the kind of step in dogshit luck that David Tyree would be envious of....(62 YARD FUCKING FG BECAUSE THE RAIDERS ARE BEYOND INCOMPETENT) Think about this...Kevs kicker hits a 61 yrd FG and gets out of a loss bc the Hawks kicker misses on by maybe a yard. Goddam..Kev is rolling into that 1 seed spot.
2) @UtahJoe - London Silly Nanies 8-3 (-1)
Had to work WAY harder than he should have to knock off a Too $hort team @jShort that is far more concerned with cross tires and the Rapha winter line up. He decided to push all his chips in on the raiders/pats game and got boned when Oakland decided to be oh ya Oakland. For one day the stink of the Oakland Raiders drowned out every other foul stench in that hell hole. Thankfully my beloved Wentz wagon pulled me across the finish line. I considered knocking myself down to 3... however in the end @pearl had a worse showing than I did...but as SAS likes to say: I GET TO HIM IN A MINUTE!
3) @pearl - Guac Deez Nuts 8-3 (+1)
Wasnt pretty and had to sweat out what should have been a cakewalk matchup vs @Carson and a Lumbergate team that is a dumpster fire the Cleveland Browns would be shocked by. Goff got taken to the woodshed by the MIN D, Shepard sits out for menstral cramps, JUJU turns back into a pumpkin and Fornette puts down 111 yards on the bench....This was ugly.... against anything resembling a and actual team, probably would have cost @pearl a win. However, JP has made it to 8 wins and that puts him up two games over the rest of this mess with 3 weeks to go...
4) @jnos - Still Riding 26” Wheels 6-5 (+1)
133 points even with his QB Captain eyeliner stinking up all of Mexico. AB goes buckwild on the titans and hes making us look like idiots for doubting that Alfred Camaro trade...Cant really put him higher than 4 being that hes 2 back of JP and I. Next week we see what this team is made of when he goes head to head with @elzoller
5) @elzoller - Team El Guac-Oh! 6-5 (0)
120 points....1 measly catch away from taking down the big bad dongs....Much like the 01 Seattle Mariners team that one 116 games and lost in the division rounds....NOBODY CARES. Much like the real NFL, there are no moral victories and the decision making here...lets see...Cards Defense over Ravens vs a dead Packers team...Wondering if he went to the Pete Carol school of strategic thinking? His team also suffered from the STANK that is raiders football and needs to be punished accordingly. This ship hasnt hit the iceberg yet, but be on the lookout!
6) @jmanic - Pocket Dogs 5-6 (-3)
THE TUMBLE
This drop is less about how this team looks moving forward and more about where they are now....OUTSIDE IN THE COLD LOOKING IN.....BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR Yet another team whose week the Raider craped all over. With 2 of his next three matups vs current playoff bracket teams..needing all 3 to get to 8....I am not liking the looks of this teams chances...Break out the patches...this row boat is taking on water.
7) @fidodie - Mariani Sauce 5-6 (0)
Soild W vs the Dogs even with his new tight end doing his best Blake Bortles impersonation....(YOU POOR POOR PEOPLE OF KANSAS CITY) I decided to keep this team in its current spot only because they have a ton of work yet to do. However, their schedule down the stretch is actually very favorable, so the sauce aint dead yet.
AND NOW LETTUCE GET TO THE DREGGS
8) @Chris26er - Crash Bandicoots 2-8 (+0)
111.5 points...still lose...Coming off a great win vs the dongs...its right back to the doghouse....I dont want to hear about fight, or competitiveness....wins and loses are all that matter and quite frankly...you stink. However...beat the dongs last week, 111 pts this week...Congratulations, Kroger, you're at the top of the Delta pledge class
9) @Carson - Team LumbarGate 4-7 (+0)
Another week by where @Carson spends more time shopping for microfiber towels to clean his beemer with than he does reviewing his line up. Was it his fault that the Eagle kicker gets knocked out in the first quarter and the backup linebacker handled the kicking duties? No its not...but this is the kind of foul smell that surrounds bad teams...@pearl lays his head on the table, hands this team the axe and they manage to chop their own arm off...Well done!
10) @jShort - Too $hort - 2-8 (-1000000000000)
Good lord...is 10 as low as we can go here? this team is abominable....2 quarterbacks combined for a TOTAL OF 7 POINTS! Doesnt bother to put a tight end in...about the only upside here is a good draft pick for the 2018 season...Burn it down, fold the franchise, sell ice cream
Once again, your fill in host for this week....our leader @pearl is in a remote location which lacks:
A. Internet
B. ESPN
He is essentially camping and using leaves to wipes Jacksons ass
Anyway, I will do my best with the power rankings report for this all important week 11 wrap up.
Nothing too earth shattering this week in terms of wins and losses...The good teams did what they needed to do...As we can see, week 11...some owners got a little sleepy with their rosters and things got a bit TIGHT...but in the end, they came thru. The battle of the 4 seed continues as @elzoller put a serious dent in his playoffs chances, and @jnos jumping @jmanic to move up to 4 for the time being......Next week Guac and Jnos are playing head to head, while @jmanic will be playing the dumpster fire that is @Chris26er s bandicoots. Someone in this group of 3 needs to figure out a way to get to 8 wins.
Week 11 Power Rankings
1) @stb222 - Long Duck Dongs 9-2 (+2)
Soild outing for the dongs....Had to hang on by his fingernails and cover his eyes as the Blair Walsh Projects 50+ yard FG attempt fell about 1 yards shy of the crossbar....Had that game gone to OT, I think Kevy would have gone down....That said, 121 points...42 more on the bench with a dead rodgers and 2 guys on bye...plus the kind of step in dogshit luck that David Tyree would be envious of....(62 YARD FUCKING FG BECAUSE THE RAIDERS ARE BEYOND INCOMPETENT) Think about this...Kevs kicker hits a 61 yrd FG and gets out of a loss bc the Hawks kicker misses on by maybe a yard. Goddam..Kev is rolling into that 1 seed spot.
2) @UtahJoe - London Silly Nanies 8-3 (-1)
Had to work WAY harder than he should have to knock off a Too $hort team @jShort that is far more concerned with cross tires and the Rapha winter line up. He decided to push all his chips in on the raiders/pats game and got boned when Oakland decided to be oh ya Oakland. For one day the stink of the Oakland Raiders drowned out every other foul stench in that hell hole. Thankfully my beloved Wentz wagon pulled me across the finish line. I considered knocking myself down to 3... however in the end @pearl had a worse showing than I did...but as SAS likes to say: I GET TO HIM IN A MINUTE!
3) @pearl - Guac Deez Nuts 8-3 (+1)
Wasnt pretty and had to sweat out what should have been a cakewalk matchup vs @Carson and a Lumbergate team that is a dumpster fire the Cleveland Browns would be shocked by. Goff got taken to the woodshed by the MIN D, Shepard sits out for menstral cramps, JUJU turns back into a pumpkin and Fornette puts down 111 yards on the bench....This was ugly.... against anything resembling a and actual team, probably would have cost @pearl a win. However, JP has made it to 8 wins and that puts him up two games over the rest of this mess with 3 weeks to go...
4) @jnos - Still Riding 26” Wheels 6-5 (+1)
133 points even with his QB Captain eyeliner stinking up all of Mexico. AB goes buckwild on the titans and hes making us look like idiots for doubting that Alfred Camaro trade...Cant really put him higher than 4 being that hes 2 back of JP and I. Next week we see what this team is made of when he goes head to head with @elzoller
5) @elzoller - Team El Guac-Oh! 6-5 (0)
120 points....1 measly catch away from taking down the big bad dongs....Much like the 01 Seattle Mariners team that one 116 games and lost in the division rounds....NOBODY CARES. Much like the real NFL, there are no moral victories and the decision making here...lets see...Cards Defense over Ravens vs a dead Packers team...Wondering if he went to the Pete Carol school of strategic thinking? His team also suffered from the STANK that is raiders football and needs to be punished accordingly. This ship hasnt hit the iceberg yet, but be on the lookout!
6) @jmanic - Pocket Dogs 5-6 (-3)
THE TUMBLE
This drop is less about how this team looks moving forward and more about where they are now....OUTSIDE IN THE COLD LOOKING IN.....BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR Yet another team whose week the Raider craped all over. With 2 of his next three matups vs current playoff bracket teams..needing all 3 to get to 8....I am not liking the looks of this teams chances...Break out the patches...this row boat is taking on water.
7) @fidodie - Mariani Sauce 5-6 (0)
Soild W vs the Dogs even with his new tight end doing his best Blake Bortles impersonation....(YOU POOR POOR PEOPLE OF KANSAS CITY) I decided to keep this team in its current spot only because they have a ton of work yet to do. However, their schedule down the stretch is actually very favorable, so the sauce aint dead yet.
AND NOW LETTUCE GET TO THE DREGGS
8) @Chris26er - Crash Bandicoots 2-8 (+0)
111.5 points...still lose...Coming off a great win vs the dongs...its right back to the doghouse....I dont want to hear about fight, or competitiveness....wins and loses are all that matter and quite frankly...you stink. However...beat the dongs last week, 111 pts this week...Congratulations, Kroger, you're at the top of the Delta pledge class
9) @Carson - Team LumbarGate 4-7 (+0)
Another week by where @Carson spends more time shopping for microfiber towels to clean his beemer with than he does reviewing his line up. Was it his fault that the Eagle kicker gets knocked out in the first quarter and the backup linebacker handled the kicking duties? No its not...but this is the kind of foul smell that surrounds bad teams...@pearl lays his head on the table, hands this team the axe and they manage to chop their own arm off...Well done!
10) @jShort - Too $hort - 2-8 (-1000000000000)
Good lord...is 10 as low as we can go here? this team is abominable....2 quarterbacks combined for a TOTAL OF 7 POINTS! Doesnt bother to put a tight end in...about the only upside here is a good draft pick for the 2018 season...Burn it down, fold the franchise, sell ice cream
Last edited:
jnos
Well-Known Member
@UtahJoe, excellent use of ALL CAPS and BOLD! On the power rankings of power ranking authors, we now have:
1) @UtahJoe - (+1)
Shows knowledge of the game and knows that PROPER COMMENTARY needs to be SHOUTED!
2) @pearl - (-1)
Gotta be in it to win. Can't ride the bench this late in the season. SAD!
3) @jnos (0)
Entered the game with this shit, but typing one line and not having any heart in it really hurts the whole team. I APOLOGIZE!
1) @UtahJoe - (+1)
Shows knowledge of the game and knows that PROPER COMMENTARY needs to be SHOUTED!
2) @pearl - (-1)
Gotta be in it to win. Can't ride the bench this late in the season. SAD!
3) @jnos (0)
Entered the game with this shit, but typing one line and not having any heart in it really hurts the whole team. I APOLOGIZE!
elzoller
El Guac-Oh
whoa.....looks like we got a new Commentator!
and yes, i fucking blew it....overcoached my team.....thought the TEXANS will suck more without DESHAWN than the PACKERS without RODGERS....I was wrong and I paid for it.
And I see what you did there.
Thanks ya'll I did my best, but JP is still the man!
Seahawks have 4th and 1 on the ~28yard line...there are SEVEN SECONDS left in the half and they have no time outs...
What does pete do? Attempts a fake FG via a 2 yards shovel pass that the Falcons crush in 1 second....Like not a shot into the end zone, or even a pass over the line to someone in the open...bc you know...7 sec left...HE MUST SCORE...that was mind boggling.
I was completely astounded by that play....If you didnt watch....
Seahawks have 4th and 1 on the ~28yard line...there are SEVEN SECONDS left in the half and they have no time outs...
What does pete do? Attempts a fake FG via a 2 yards shovel pass that the Falcons crush in 1 second....Like not a shot into the end zone, or even a pass over the line to someone in the open...bc you know...7 sec left...HE MUST SCORE...that was mind boggling.