Kids and Competition!

MST.ESQ

MST.ESQ

New Member
After my son and 3 other rookie players were "cut" from the 4th grade football team because the head coach was "concerned" for their safety as rookies (of course he only put the rookies in for three plays over a 2 hour scrimmage) I got to thinking about kids sports some more. You see, my son ran a triathlon and two mountain bike races, got his butt handed to him, but went home with a huge smile on his face asking when the next race was scheduled because the other kids all congratulated each other no matter where they finished and got up on the podium together with their ribbons for pictures. When did kid's football turn into a quest to bring honor to the hometown at all costs? Why are kids and parents at kid's bike races so happy just to see their kids compete no matter the result but the football coaches swear at 9 year old boys on the field? Oh well.

I hope that the NJ bike and triathlon races keep the same vibe as they become more popular.
 
That sucks but it's part of life. I think it highlights one of the differences in attitude between endurance sports athletes and the more traditional ball sports athletes. Coaches are usually players or former players so the attitude would likely remain consistent. lastly, I think intelligence is a factor. There are a lot of stupid people out there and a good portion of them have kids (also sometimes stupid) that play sports.

Bring the kids to the next mountain bike race and explain that this is sport/activity they can participate in beyond high school.

To really be disturbed, check out this video of an attack on the ref at a youth football game.

http://sunny1043.radio.com/2011/09/02/video-sarasota-youth-football-attack-on-referee/
 
That is shortsighted to cut 4th grade kids from a football program, or any sport for that matter. No one is an all-star in football at this age and the program should be about teaching the kids the sport and encouraging them to stick with it.

The goal should be to get as many kids at this age into football and teach them the game with the hope that by the time they get to HS there will be a large pool of talented players to choose from...then you cut the ones that suck:D

Seriously, as a parent of 2 boys in there teens its important for coach's at the grammar school level to instruct and encourage players in a sport. As they get older kids loose interest in sports, it shouldn't be because the coach took all the fun out of the game.
 
pooriggy said:
...at this age and the program should be about teaching the kids the sport and encouraging them to stick with it...
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Bingo!

GratefulRider said:
Bring the kids to the next mountain bike race and explain that this is sport/activity they can participate in beyond high school.
Click to expand...

Another good point about cycling sports...

I mentioned "cut" in quotes because what they are doing is sending these 6 kids to the 3rd grade team of 7 and 8 year old kids. My son towers over most of them and would cause a significant "safety" issue when he plays against these smaller kids. Plus, we know this is BS because his best friend is half his size but allowed to stay on the team because he started a year ago and already has the "safety" training that they cite. Oh, and his mother complained that he saw extremely little playing time last year when the level of play was not supposed to be as competitive.

I have seen these kids play plenty of times, they do not employ any special moves, etc. other than to avoid leading with their helmet. If a kid of the same size tackles my son what "special" training is he missing that is so vital to his safety? The true reason is that this coach just wants to win. Plus, they are learning more sophisticated plays and set-ups this year - so are they going to keep these kids back again because they are another year behind by being in the "training" league:hmmm:
 
My son was cut from high school lacrosse a few years ago but it worked out well, now he's serious about bike racing and has time for it on the weekends! He's got a bikers body too, not a super bulked up LAX/football physique so I'm glad he got out when he did. Some pro footballers were opinion-izing on the radio today saying that making the game safer removes the man-building nature of the sport, sad that without ramming your head against the wall they can't learn to be manly... Not sure about the woman's sports, same?
 
I went through this 2 yrs ago with my son except I pulled him out. Jason did not start from the kgrade as he played soccer. He decided he wanted to play football in 3rd grade so signed him up. Practices started on aug1 and were 6 days a week :confused: then came time for game time and he would play 3 downs per game avg. My frustration grew as some of these games were well over an hour to drive to. Also add in the 8 coaches and you got 8 kids playing both sides of the ball all game. Please don't get me started with the parents either some of the trashiest kind and that was the moms. Funny part is I played from peewee all through HS and never have I noticed a group of shitheads like this. Having your son bust his balls only to ask why don't they play me is not my idea of these present day coaches getting it, for christ sakes this was 3rd grade...
 
Sparta has the same bs but a few fathers have started their own program that encourages the kids and gives each one time at every position. Great direction from some dedicated dads, maybe something to look into if your kid is interested in playing with kids his own age.
 
That's unfortunate at such a young age. Even though I am a basketball coach for my 9 year son, and he enjoys playing team sports...the best times he has had is when he is out riding his mounatin bike. He competes as I do, and he does very well. When he's out there riding he has a sense of "freedom" team sports can't give him, along with the knowledge he is not being judge. The only judge he has is himself, and the biggest concern has been at times is "why can't we ride some more" or "Dad, you sure we wont see a bear"...(can't make that promise) You ride as hard or as casual as you want....it's a sport that automatical creates a family among riders. Just like another post mentioned, at the end of the races all the kids have smiles on their faces no matter how they finished (as do the proud parents). Unlike football, biking is a sport he could do for the next 50 years...and for at least the next 10-15 years I can enjoy it along side of him. Can't say that for many other sports.
Enjoy

PS...some of the most respectful youth atletes I have come across have been on the trails. Always looking out and helping one another. Never anyone yelling in their face, except for the cheering.
 
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Chris26er said:
Sparta has the same bs but a few fathers have started their own program that encourages the kids and gives each one time at every position. Great direction from some dedicated dads, maybe something to look into if your kid is interested in playing with kids his own age.
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Funny that you mention Sparta. We had a scrimmage against Sparta's 4th grade team two weeks ago and my son's coaches used your running back (#33 if I recall correctly) as an example as why it would be dangerous for rookies to play. Ironically, #33 knocked the wind out of 3 of the coaches kids (with good clean hits) whereas my son was only put in the game for two plays and on the second play made an unassisted open field tackle on #33. Go figure...

As an update, my wife chewed out the League President last night. As it turns out, he did not give the coaches permission to cut players and it is in fact against the spirit of the program to do so. The 6 kids were all new to the program and cut because there is a playoffs and Superbowl this year apparently. My son is staying on the team because my wife ripped them all new ones, but we know this means they will crap on him all year. Coming from someone who never quit sports - I hope he decides not to continue football.
 
getting kicked off the school football team is the best thing that can happen to your kid.

id like to see football disappear from my town's schools entirely, but i know that's not realistic. Fortunately, it's easy enough to ignore it.

chris26er has the right idea: you dont need school funding to play. its pretty straightforward to go to the park and organize a fun pick up game. (heck we do it with bike racing!)
 
I never really got into "ball sports" in school and started racing MTB in 8th grade. I WISH there were programs that encouraged cycling. It has gotten much better with many of the U-19 Road programs in the area and Jersey has had many good riders come from them.

I remember always thinking it was "weird" that I was a bike racer in high school, but looking back, its pretty bad ass that my year book pic is of me racing 24 hrs of Canaan. :D

I would not be opposed to the abolition of football is schools. I hated the mentality that went with it.

Lets start a kids cycling club is Sparta Chris26er! I wish I had someone do that for me!
 
Traditional team sports are a big part of my life. My oldest son has a developmental disability but the other four are into recreational sports in a big way. My daughter plays varsity soccer, basketball & softball @Millburn High & the 3 younger sons play football, wrestle & spring/travel summer baseball it is a full time job!
LOTS of LAUNDRY & MUDDY CLEATS!
Anyway the politics & crazy controversial coaches disgust me but that's life, right? Trust me I have seen it all from favoritism to brutality. There will be unfairness in life and you have to navigate your way through. Overall my kids are getting more out of these team sports than I ever did from being stuck inside an rink figure skating 5 hours /day solo.
Lots of discipline, fresh air & exercise . . my kids thrive on this stuff.
 
Volatile topic. I completely agree, cutting kids at that age sucks, there has to be a bigger funnel and ample opportunity for kids to figure out whether they love the sport or hate it.

Another perspective, I coach kids' hockey. Even at the level I coach ( 6-9 year olds), it is so clear there are kids who have natural abilities, there are other kids who don't but try like hell, and there are kids who have neither. I honestly try to develop all kids into the best they can be, regardless. However, if a kid bleeds from his eyeballs in practice, and really wants to be there, while another kid doesn't, I tend to give those who really want to be there more ice time on Sunday. Parents at times don't like that, but you know what, that's too bad.

While I like to give every kid a ribbon, instead, I keep stats, and there is a game puck at every game for the player who contributes the most and/or who puts in the most effort. And the kids really get this as motivation, they put in the effort, they compete, they have fun, and when they have fun they tend to win. At the end of the season, the kids with the most stats gets a special gift. While yes everyone still gets medals because the kids have to have fun, I feel that special extra effort and talent should be recognized and rewarded, even at that age. And no, we don't cut anyone, and our team was undefeated by a silly margin last season.

But in general, when it comes to my own kids (they swim and play hockey and ride bikes in spare time), my perspective is similar to Ellen's. That's life, and there is good and bad. I always try to remember that all this is really for the kids :)
 
ellenserruto said:
Anyway the politics & crazy controversial coaches disgust me but that's life, right? Trust me I have seen it all from favoritism to brutality. There will be unfairness in life and you have to navigate your way through. Overall my kids are getting more out of these team sports than I ever did from being stuck inside an rink figure skating 5 hours /day solo.
Lots of discipline, fresh air & exercise . . my kids thrive on this stuff.
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Yeah, but at what age does that start at? High school and maybe middle school are one thing, but in 3rd or 4th grade?, that seems a little over the top. All of the stuff people are talking about here totally turns me off to organized sports. I know it is how things are, but should you really start beating kids up when they are under 10?

However, isn't this why e have sports like cycling, skateboarding, extreme walking, for the kids who don't fit into that mold? I quit soccer on 11th grade because they told me I couldn't skate and stay on the team. what an easy decision that was, I never once looked back.
 
All coach's are not bad.

Our town has some great parents who do a super job coaching. Unfortunately the bad ones seem to get more attention.

The other side of the coin to all of this...if you think a coach is doing a bad job and you can do better than by all means jump in. These are all volunteer jobs. Too many parents mf coach's but do nothing to make a situation better.

Being a coach in soccer and baseball to my kids teams, I always tried my best to get everyone in the game but there was always the parent who was unhappy with there kids playing time. As a coach I found that you can't please everyone.
 
In the end exposure to team sports has its pros & cons. When my husband and/or kids get crazy over something that was said/done by a coach I ignore & think to myself its only a game. As time goes by, the experience is positive overall. Life is not always good. . learn now!
By the 4th grade its definately about winning! SRY that's reality.
I'm no Tiger mom however my kids have it pretty pretty good (Larry David) . . top of the line equipment, fields, uniforms etc. No sympathy on my part for hurt feelings because he/she didn't start and/or get much playing time. Coach is usually doing the best he/she can to win period.
Yes I encourage recreational cycling. . but the opportunity to play rec./school team sports is happening now. I'm all for it. Childhood is soooo short.
 
I should point out that Jason plays soccer, wrestles and baseball. All great coaches and programs. Our football program is run by meatheads period and the sad is it shows as the program has been shrinking. My neighbor who is a HS football coach also agrees that it's a failed program. He is also my sons wrestling coach and an avid mtber...
 
sucks you had a bad experience with your local football program. Last year was my son's first year playing football in SJE(age based. weight restricted). He wasn't very good but everybody was placed on a team, he made the "C" team aka Freshman 85. All 3 teams went updefeated and won their respective championships, on the C team all the kids played more than a quarter, by hte end of the year Brandon was playing just about half the game. He had alot of fun and this year moved up to 105 and is starting both ways on the line. What shocked me is soccer parent seem crazier than football parents, my daughter plays travel team and most teams (including ours) have some really bad parents on the sidelines.
 

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MikeP said:
What shocked me is soccer parent seem crazier than football parents, my daughter plays travel team and most teams (including ours) have some really bad parents on the sidelines.
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True dat. My son plays travel soccer and I've seen parents(not our team's) and coach's get ejected from games. We are told every year by the owner of STA(sons soccer club) to basically keep out mouth shut at games and don't bother the coach about playing time.

The rougher the town(blue collar) the rougher the parents. When we go to somerset co. area to play we have tea and crumpets after the game. When we go to Elizabeth we learn spanish curse words.
 
The rougher the town(blue collar) the rougher the parents. When we go to somerset co. area to play we have tea and crumpets after the game. When we go to Elizabeth we learn spanish curse words.[/QUOTE]

WTH??
This thread should be re-named "The most annoying thread".
Why?
CAuse of stupid comments like this one.
 
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