Dry January 2025 (The Sober Thread)

Please do not take this in a negative way because it's absolutely not meant to be. Just thinking out loud.

I always wondered if keeping count of sober days, days without smoking, eating sugar or whatever your demon is actually helping with staying the course.

The only addiction I ever got rid of was smoking (I believe I mentioned this before on this very thread) but once I gave up I never looked back or count the years let alone the days I did not smoke a cigarette (I know it was 1995 because it was shortly before I was delivered my first new car but I can't remember the month or the day, just the day of the week, it was a Tuesday). In my own mind, if I were counting the days I would feel like if I was still somehow controlled by the addiction or the fear of it. But I guess each one is wired differently.

I've also gave up drinking officially now since my wife can't drink alcohol due to a health issue, but that wasn't really a thing for me as a six pack would last me a month and would only be followed by the next one after a few months, never been into heavy stuff like whiskey, rum etc. and kind of lost interest in wine along the way. The only alcohol we had in the last few years was a small glass of Amaro Averna after dinner from the bottle that my mom would send from the old country before Christmas, which I'm sure will take some struggle to stay away from this coming holiday season...
 
serviceguy said:
Please do not take this in a negative way because it's absolutely not meant to be. Just thinking out loud.

I always wondered if keeping count of sober days, days without smoking, eating sugar or whatever your demon is actually helping with staying the course.

The only addiction I ever got rid of was smoking (I believe I mentioned this before on this very thread) but once I gave up I never looked back or count the years let alone the days I did not smoke a cigarette (I know it was 1995 because it was shortly before I was delivered my first new car but I can't remember the month or the day, just the day of the week, it was a Tuesday). In my own mind, if I were counting the days I would feel like if I was still somehow controlled by the addiction or the fear of it. But I guess each one is wired differently.

I've also gave up drinking officially now since my wife can't drink alcohol due to a health issue, but that wasn't really a thing for me as a six pack would last me a month and would only be followed by the next one after a few months, never been into heavy stuff like whiskey, rum etc. and kind of lost interest in wine along the way. The only alcohol we had in the last few years was a small glass of Amaro Averna after dinner from the bottle that my mom would send from the old country before Christmas, which I'm sure will take some struggle to stay away from this coming holiday season...
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I kind of touched on this last page. I guess it could help some people, I personally agree with you. Another factor is the all or nothing and "losing your streak" can create a spiral for some thinking one drink erased X amount of days.

Recovery is also tremendously personal which is why people speak from the "I" so if it helps people, good for them. Everyone is wired differently.
 
@serviceguy none taken, my perspective.

Alcohol or alcoholism unlike cigarettes destroys not only you but most the people who love you, like drug addiction. If you have not witnessed someone killing themselves slowly with addiction it usually carrys consequences for that person's entire family. Life long consequences at that, family members mourn after death feeling regretful that they didn't do more or are absolutely resentful. Keeping your bottom green or knowing why you may have lost your job, house, license and family/spouse because you choose a drink or drug over them. Addiction is a disease like any other and I'm sure if you asked a cancer survivor how many days/years they have been cancer free I bet they were to give a pretty accurate number. Celebration of sobriety is like a brand new lease on life. Trust me I could never thought I could have the life I am living now without acknowledging that I was powerless over Alcohol and putting the work in to keep from that 1st drink because that 1st drink will get me drunk 🙂
 
Zaskar said:
I've decided to do a dry November.

I got a bit lazy with eating habits which I think is due to over consumption.

And I think the over consumption is due to the tragic loss of my brother-in-law during Hurricane Ida. He was swept into a storm drain and drowned. It's really affected us and I think I need some sober time to address it.

Not going to say I haven't over consumed in the past but this seems a little different...

The night of the storm my sister called me around 9:00 telling me that Pat was missing. I was not sure what she meant by missing at first and then she told me he went outside to check the storm drain and my whole body went numb. I drove over to their house during because she begged me to come. I arrived to find fire engines, police cars and her neighbors all with ghost like faces staring at each other and my niece and nephew crying hysterically. We spent the next few hours looking around the neighborhood, police and fire opening manhole covers and going down them with no luck.

The police took a missing person's report asked for photos of him etc and told us they were going to keep looking but we knew the chances of finding him alive or slim.

I laid in bed with my nephew trying to console him until he fell asleep.

Around daybreak I got up and went out and wandered around the street not knowing what to do next. At that point an ambulance passed the bottom of the street and I hopped in my car to follow it, as I turn the corner I could see police cars and the ambulance a few blocks down and I knew that was a him.

The detective just looked at me, saying he couldn't confirm but his eyes told the story. He told me to go back and be with the family and they would be by. When I got there my sister was sitting on the porch with a cup of coffee telling me Pat always set the coffee the night before and it was ready. She asked me if I thought he was gone and I couldn't tell her that I just saw him because I didn't want her to run over there.

The next two weeks were a blur of family, friends and neighbors. Now it's been two months and the pain is getting worse for my sister and I have grown somewhat numb so... here's to day 4.

RIP Patrick Jeffery

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Stay with it. Many years of drinking and being hung-over taught me how to suffer in silence. When I am mountain biking it takes me out of my headspace (which is why I drank in the first place). I am well suited for suffering up hills and dealing with the many shin smacks. At the end of the ride I am re-energized. Let me know if you want to ride sunday Nov 7th morning (I like Tourne). I went out to clear drains during Ida, it was a shitshow.
 
My God that is absolutely heartbreaking, my deepest condolences to you, your sister and rest of your family. Hang in there, dealing with lost is such a difficult thing but alcohol will not heal that pain so your on the right path. Godspeed Patrick Jeffrey!!!
 
It's a pretty devastating story to be sure. When you hear stories like this in the news you go wow that's terrible and move on. When you're close to the story it's hard to believe something like this would happen to such and great guy. On the other hand it was just a tragic accident nothing bigger than that and that's helped me somewhat to deal with this. My sister and kids are in therapy sessions and that's been helping but they have a long road ahead.

Putting these words down is somewhat therapeutic so thanks for listening.

As for the drinking...the weekend is upon us so here's to day 5...
 
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That drowning story is brutal. Water is no joke. It's especially tough when its suddenly super dangerous in a spot that you have know to be so safe for so long.

I'm now 12 yrs in w/o drinking alcohol. I recently was approached by a friend who asked how I stuck with it. I told him that I don't have enough free time to give up a 1/2 day or full day nursing hangovers. It is a easy cost savings for me as well.
 
@Zaskar man I am heartbroken for you and your family. My sincere condolences.

I came back to this thread to talk about my overindulgence and how my alcohol consumption is (again) getting out of hand. I realize my problems are so inconsequential compared to others. I'm going to go dry from now until Thanksgiving. Keeping it simple and consistent works best for me.
 
jdog said:
That drowning story is brutal. Water is no joke. It's especially tough when its suddenly super dangerous in a spot that you have know to be so safe for so long.

I'm now 12 yrs in w/o drinking alcohol. I recently was approached by a friend who asked how I stuck with it. I told him that I don't have enough free time to give up a 1/2 day or full day nursing hangovers. It is a easy cost savings for me as well.
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amazing (embarassing) how much money you save when you give up drinking.
 
a.s. said:
@Zaskar man I am heartbroken for you and your family. My sincere condolences.

I came back to this thread to talk about my overindulgence and how my alcohol consumption is (again) getting out of hand. I realize my problems are so inconsequential compared to others. I'm going to go dry from now until Thanksgiving. Keeping it simple and consistent works best for me.
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and you have sunday mornings to ride...
 
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