Dear Squatter,
Let me pass on some words of wisdom given to me by the dalai lama himself.
He who lives by the KOM dies by the KOM.
Alls fair in Love and KOM.
A KOM on the uphill is worth 2 downhill KOMS.
Don't judge a KOM by its numbers.
Dear Iggy - An Advice Column
- Thread starter Norm
- Start date
Dear Squatter,
Let me pass on some words of wisdom given to me by the dalai lama himself.
He who lives by the KOM dies by the KOM.
Alls fair in Love and KOM.
A KOM on the uphill is worth 2 downhill KOMS.
Don't judge a KOM by its numbers.
He's a fountain full of something.
What if oneself steals a KOM from oneself?
Dear Iggy,
Recently I have been dealt a quandary with one of my old friends. You see he was a high school track star and went on to world wide fame. So when he told me from the talking box that he now wants to change his name to Katlyn I was like WTF! Dude your a man, then that photo showed that your a dude with boobs now.
So my question is if I eat Wheaties will I grow Boobs and want to change my name.
Sincerely, Confused Maddy
Recently I have been dealt a quandary with one of my old friends. You see he was a high school track star and went on to world wide fame. So when he told me from the talking box that he now wants to change his name to Katlyn I was like WTF! Dude your a man, then that photo showed that your a dude with boobs now.
So my question is if I eat Wheaties will I grow Boobs and want to change my name.
Sincerely, Confused Maddy
Be confused no more,
Ah, yes I've heard of your friend. While it is noble that a high profile figure such as Katlyn is coming out and getting new body parts, my question is at 65 years of age how many people really want to fuck Katlyn? Its sad that your friend waited so long to adopt a sexuality they always desired. Life is too short, be who you want to be.
@pooriggy another one came to my Inbox just now!
"Dear Iggy,
I'm kinda new to this road bike riding thing and one of my new bike friends just sent me a link to an article called The Rules. He was very adamant about Rule #5 which is, I quote, 'Harden the Fuck Up.'
Now I'm not squeamish by any means. My father was a steel worker and would routinely dunk my testicles in boiling oil when I misbehaved as a child. My riding buddies, on the other hand, all shave their legs and apply a white, seemingly antiseptic gel to their assholes before they ride every day.
My question is this. Is there some definition of the word 'hard' that I'm unaware of?
Signed,
Hardening up in Hamilton"
"Dear Iggy,
I'm kinda new to this road bike riding thing and one of my new bike friends just sent me a link to an article called The Rules. He was very adamant about Rule #5 which is, I quote, 'Harden the Fuck Up.'
Now I'm not squeamish by any means. My father was a steel worker and would routinely dunk my testicles in boiling oil when I misbehaved as a child. My riding buddies, on the other hand, all shave their legs and apply a white, seemingly antiseptic gel to their assholes before they ride every day.
My question is this. Is there some definition of the word 'hard' that I'm unaware of?
Signed,
Hardening up in Hamilton"
This term is somewhat undefined. Someone needs to add to this rule, giving specfic guidelines as to How to Harden the Fuck Up. If you have to tell a cyclist to harden the fuck up, chances are he has no clue as to what you are saying...case in point Hardening up in Hamilton.
Hamilton for starters I would suggest putting a pair of vise grips on your nutsack for at least 1hr a day, in an attempt to accomplish rule #5.
Start listening to that billy badass music that Luke listens too.
Get a tattoo that reads Rule # 5, put in on your shaved calf.
Purchase a wallet that says Bad Mother Fucker on it.
Play music loudly from cheap speaker mounted to your bike. If someone complains tell them to harden the F UP!
Dear Nutty,
Don't hide from your predicament, instead celebrate it on the dance floor. Using a dinner napkin on the grundle will alleviate that itch and score some points on the dance floor.
Have fun with it.
Dear Luke,
Like the early models of Corvair you are unsafe at any speed or age and should always be in need of adult supervision.
Dear Iggy:
I mash my gears alot and break chains. I generally just throw in a few quick links when I mash them up instead of replacing them. That way I have more money for white clothes. How many quick links can I use in one chain? 20? 30? 116?
Signed,
Lou Berrios
I mash my gears alot and break chains. I generally just throw in a few quick links when I mash them up instead of replacing them. That way I have more money for white clothes. How many quick links can I use in one chain? 20? 30? 116?
Signed,
Lou Berrios
knobbyhead
Next off the Island.
wonderturtle
Well-Known Member
Wow. It's a very hot debate. I really struck a nerve there.
knobbyhead
Next off the Island.
It appears it is, and can be spelled either way.
@pooriggy - coming at you on a Tuesday:
"Dear Iggy,
A teammate of mine who I'll call "Jeff" has an issue that I need your help with. We ride together all the time, and there is a woman on the team who is single - I'll call her Karen. Jeff is interested in dating her, but I think I know the reason she hasn't shown any interest. Jeff hasn't bought new kits in several years, and riding downwind of him is, well, stinky. He's still wearing the old kit design, and in addition to being stinky, it's almost see-through.
The next team kit order is coming up, and I know Jeff is always tight for cash, but how do I convince him that he may have more luck with Karen if he's wearing a new kit?
Signed,
Caring Friend in Flemington"
"Dear Iggy,
A teammate of mine who I'll call "Jeff" has an issue that I need your help with. We ride together all the time, and there is a woman on the team who is single - I'll call her Karen. Jeff is interested in dating her, but I think I know the reason she hasn't shown any interest. Jeff hasn't bought new kits in several years, and riding downwind of him is, well, stinky. He's still wearing the old kit design, and in addition to being stinky, it's almost see-through.
The next team kit order is coming up, and I know Jeff is always tight for cash, but how do I convince him that he may have more luck with Karen if he's wearing a new kit?
Signed,
Caring Friend in Flemington"
Dear Caring Friend,
Lets flip this scenario, just for fun. We'll put Karen in an old stinky almost see-through kit, Jeff would be a german shepherd chasing Karen like a dog in heat. I ask...Why can't a women be more like a man?
But I digress...
The thing to do here is give it to Jeff straight. Tell him that if he wants to make it with women, he is gonna have to clean himself up. If that doesn't motivate him, redesign the team kit and tell him he has to replace the obsolete design.
Lets flip this scenario, just for fun. We'll put Karen in an old stinky almost see-through kit, Jeff would be a german shepherd chasing Karen like a dog in heat. I ask...Why can't a women be more like a man?
But I digress...
The thing to do here is give it to Jeff straight. Tell him that if he wants to make it with women, he is gonna have to clean himself up. If that doesn't motivate him, redesign the team kit and tell him he has to replace the obsolete design.
soulchild
Well-Known Member
knobbyhead
Next off the Island.
Dear Iggy -
I am tired of being a 'member'; what do I have to do to become a "well-known member" ? Do I need to get one of those silly orange and blue kits 🙂
I am tired of being a 'member'; what do I have to do to become a "well-known member" ? Do I need to get one of those silly orange and blue kits 🙂