I prefer Turducken roll myself...
ytc,
Just for shits & giggles before your next big ride try to drink like 2 quarts of water before you start. As much as you can when you get up, then just keep going. Right before you ride drink another 2, maybe some liquid calories.
I wouldn't worry too much about the blood sugar dropping. I've seen some more recent studies that show that your blood sugar can indeed drop, but it has no effect on performance. In fact it helped performance in the long run. I think the takeaway there is, "they" don't really know.
I did try this and besides the fact that I had to pee every 1/2 hour it didn't seem to impact my riding ability - in fact I had a bad day. I normally drink a lot of water in general and stay very well hydrated.
It really seems to be coming down to a case of just not being conditioned properly for the way I want to ride vs. what my body is really prepared for. I have to ride a lot slower than I want to and I have to skip some of the more challenging technical stuff (who wants to do that??) in order to have any endurance.
Hmm, ok, if you pee a lot then no problem there.
I hate to say shit like this but Steve has a big ass. Oh wait...I mean, a lot of people have tried endurolytes and/or sportslegs and had the problem go away. The downside is that you end up popping pills every hour on the ride. For me on a long ride it's worth it if it helps. Big "if" of course.
Another thought is to hit the ups/downs/technical as hard as you want/can, but dial it back a bit on the flats. Rest on the flats a bit more and go balls out a little more. This is actually what coaches will sometimes tell riders to do in a training session earlier in the season.
Maybe I just need a bigger ass.
Man I don't know what else to say. Sounds like you've tried just about everything.
2-3 scoops of HEED,Hammer gel and 2-3 scoops of Perptuem??!! I could walk to California with 4 bullets in me after that!!