The Heckle Report

SSCX/Fat bike race

Men/Woman SS and Fatbike was raced at the same time with separate podiums. This race was the last of the day and was an absolute riot. Handups included beer, whiskey, waffles, skittles, donuts, cookies, water, stickers and who knows what else. HAND-DOWNS included Mo Bruno-Roy trading cards and cottencandy blue "biker meth" from Matt Bruno-Roy (dressed as walter white)

I'm just going to dump a bunch of photos of Zancanatto SSCX Series Finale here:

Innovative but still not USA-Cycling Approved SS set up:
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Start
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Stampede Cycling
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HUB United is a great NECX grassroots team:
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THERE WERE 2-3 TANDEMS ON COURSE!
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Fat bike "JRA Bad Decisions Jump"
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This woman saw the Halter's Puking Unicorn online and called halters to order 2 kits. One for herself and one for her friend.
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This guy and his bike were painted gold head to tire. He would stop and hold this pose randomly.
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Then he showed up on one of the tandems?! yup.
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Tyler - Laughing Dog SSCX specialist
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All around great time. I wish I doubled up and zip-tied!
 
A Heckler Family Christmas

I don't know too many people who have a boring family and uneventful holidays.

The classic stories I hear from people are endless bickering, antics from the "Drunk Aunt/Uncle," the young college kids drinking a little too much and Grandma letting some racist remarks out after grace is said.

My family dynamic is a little unique thanks to my older brother Daniel. Dan has taught me a few very important lessons in life including nothing worth getting angry about, shit happens and you have to laugh it off or you're not going to have a good time in this world.

Dan has a form of autism which is easiest to describe as him being a 3 year old in a 29 year old's body.

Christmas Eve
I got out of work at 1:30 and headed straight to the mall to finish my shopping. *KING OF PLANNING* I love the mall on Christmas Eve, there is something about the panic and stress of everyone I see that just makes me laugh. It's something I look forward to every year.

I got to my parents around 4ish and was reminded that I needed to service the dryer. A couple weeks earlier my father managed to accidentally knock a marker down the lint trap chute while cleaning the screen. Said marker was jamming something in the drive system which prevented the machine from starting. I shut off the gas, moved the dryer out and unscrewed the back panel. I located the lint trap screws and removed the chute.

tmturx8l.jpg


Boom. The marker was melted to the fins of the impeller and took a good strong pull to remove it.

aVTSi2vl.jpg


At this point my mom called my father upstairs to clean up a mess Danny made in the foyer. Company was coming soon and you could smell the stress in the air! It was now just Dan and I in the basement. I had my tool set on top of the dryer and was just tightening up the final screw on the lint chute when I hear a loud metallic *clunk*.

I look up at my brother who was standing next to me, staring down with a maniacal smile. I knew what the clunk was instantly. He had sent a socket down the chute.

A moment of rage QUICKLY turned into both of us laughing hysterically. What the hell else can you do? Nothing.

I coerced my brother to go upstairs since I didn't want any more of his help with the job. I pulled the chute back out and there was the socket.

GZrC8y0l.jpg


I buttoned everything back together and fired up the dryer. Turned right on, no bad sounds. +1 for the kid.

I swear Dan knows exactly what he is doing 100% of the time. Overall he was very happy and well behaved this year. When he is off things get much more stressful. I love my brother and his constant lessons in laugh it off.

This was only hour 1 of the 36 hour holiday marathon, but this was easily my favorite memory from X-mas 2014.

I love quirky holiday stories, please share if you have any!

Beard Report:
Festive.

1x6fKiYl.jpg
 
Hey man just wanted to say how awesome your posts are. I really want to try cross this upcoming year and this post is very informative on how much fun a missed by dragging my cleats during the fall. Keep up the good work.
 
YouRang87 said:
Hey man just wanted to say how awesome your posts are. I really want to try cross this upcoming year and this post is very informative on how much fun a missed by dragging my cleats during the fall. Keep up the good work.
Click to expand...

Thanks! Hope to see you out there and welcome to the board!!
 
The Heckler said:
I don't know too many people who have a boring family and uneventful holidays.



The classic stories I hear from people are endless bickering, antics from the "Drunk Aunt/Uncle," the young college kids drinking a little too much and Grandma letting some racist remarks out after grace is said.



My family dynamic is a little unique thanks to my older brother Daniel. Dan has taught me a few very important lessons in life including nothing worth getting angry about, shit happens and you have to laugh it off or you're not going to have a good time in this world.



Dan has a form of autism which is easiest to describe as him being a 3 year old in a 29 year old's body.



Christmas Eve

I got out of work at 1:30 and headed straight to the mall to finish my shopping. *KING OF PLANNING* I love the mall on Christmas Eve, there is something about the panic and stress of everyone I see that just makes me laugh. It's something I look forward to every year.



I got to my parents around 4ish and was reminded that I needed to service the dryer. A couple weeks earlier my father managed to accidentally knock a marker down the lint trap chute while cleaning the screen. Said marker was jamming something in the drive system which prevented the machine from starting. I shut off the gas, moved the dryer out and unscrewed the back panel. I located the lint trap screws and removed the chute.



tmturx8l.jpg




Boom. The marker was melted to the fins of the impeller and took a good strong pull to remove it.



aVTSi2vl.jpg




At this point my mom called my father upstairs to clean up a mess Danny made in the foyer. Company was coming soon and you could smell the stress in the air! It was now just Dan and I in the basement. I had my tool set on top of the dryer and was just tightening up the final screw on the lint chute when I hear a loud metallic *clunk*.



I look up at my brother who was standing next to me, staring down with a maniacal smile. I knew what the clunk was instantly. He had sent a socket down the chute.



A moment of rage QUICKLY turned into both of us laughing hysterically. What the hell else can you do? Nothing.



I coerced my brother to go upstairs since I didn't want any more of his help with the job. I pulled the chute back out and there was the socket.



GZrC8y0l.jpg




I buttoned everything back together and fired up the dryer. Turned right on, no bad sounds. +1 for the kid.



I swear Dan knows exactly what he is doing 100% of the time. Overall he was very happy and well behaved this year. When he is off things get much more stressful. I love my brother and his constant lessons in laugh it off.



This was only hour 1 of the 36 hour holiday marathon, but this was easily my favorite memory from X-mas 2014.



I love quirky holiday stories, please share if you have any!



Beard Report:

Festive.



1x6fKiYl.jpg
Click to expand...


I love this story! But the beard is like Peter from family guy and the birds hatching in his beard haha
 
LDBCXNYDMMXVWC - Race Preview

Tomorrow is the first race of 2015!

Full credit of the official event poster goes to my buddy Tyler:
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LDBCXNYDMMXVWC (Who doesn't like acronyms?)

Laughing Dog bicycles cyclocross new years day 2015 world cup.

Amazingly Tyler won a bid for a world cup, however it is not cycling, but soccer.

Basically the team and friends get together at the end of the season for a bandit cross style race of awesomeness and shenanigans. This is the second time we are doing this and last year was a great time.

It's looking like a 1/4 mile loop with an estimated 10 laps. A perilous bridge over monster infested waters has been promised along with a "short cut challenge."

There is even a "race predictor!"

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(Hopefully Colin doesn't send a cease and desist for my excel model)

MIGHT BE A BATTLE FOR 1ST!!! (or last?)

Recap to follow!

Everyone have a great NYE and please stay safe!
 
LDBCXNYDMMXVWC - RECAP!

SORRY TO KEEP YOU WAITING, INTERNET.

LDBCXNYDMMXVWC was held New Years Day at the Laughing Dog Secret Training Facility in Pelham, MA. We had something like 10-15 racers and It was a total blast.

My buddy Tyler put together a really fun, very short course in his back yard and some woods just off the property. Key course features included a narrow bridge over a kiddie pool filled with shaving cream, a bermed out "flow-y downhill" and some pretty tight corners and a short cut challenge which cut a section of single track for tasks including saying the alphabet, drinking a beer, eating a clove of garlic, wearing the Jason mask for a lap and "adding one lap to your race."

We had a Le Mans start and completed a 15 lap race which took approximately 30 minutes. Almost everyone brought a mountain bike after last years icey snow race in the woods so I'm calling the race a "mountain-cross" event. Ty got a go pro for Christmas and I volunteered to wear it! He put together a short video, give it a watch!

http://vimeo.com/116062260

Stakes went down and I got lazy :p

Most of the "racers"
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Tyler taped and staked and taped his whole yard with hand cut stakes.
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Zach won the Jason mask for a lap and kept it for 3!
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Me ripping the pro line.
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Jaqi ripping it!!
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Stuart, winner of the backpack filled with bricks.
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Andrew, winner of the extra lap, and the Lanterne Rouge.
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The podium, "Everyone's a wiener!"
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I spent the rest of my weekend hanging out with my friends and shredding mountain bikes in the valley. This was truly the greatest start to a year I can recall. Awesome people in an awesome place shredding bikes.

I decided to stay home this weekend and skip Scrub Zone Nationals in RI. My friend called an said it was a blast, hopefully I will make the trip next year.

Beard Report:
5 1/2 months old. I think at the end of the month I will be cutting back the beard and starting fresh. A beard is never finished, but I'm feeling that this one has achieved what I set for it.

This is the official end of my season post. This is my final recap of the 2014-2015 cyclocross season. Thanks for following, I hope you enjoyed reading as much as I did sharing it.
 
Thanks for posting! Loved all of your recaps. Looking forward to your next thread...
 
Good job, nice work all around. Maybe we can ride bikes together one day...

I had no idea you could embed video here. When did that happen?
 
Norm said:
Good job, nice work all around. Maybe we can ride bikes together one day...

I had no idea you could embed video here. When did that happen?
Click to expand...

When I added the Vimeo hyperlink it just showed up!

I've been trying to get the mountain bike out on the weekends, lets figure something out.
 
we don't have a clapping emot, but can now embed video -

another 'ataboy' for you - pics and recaps were awesome!

Keep it rolling with a new thread....
 
I'm late on this announcement.

The Final Beard Report:

Rest in peace.

Beard
7/26/2014-1/26/2015

He was a good beard.
 
My mind is playing TAPS.

It was extremely entertaining to see you with shaved legs applying umbro while sporting a burly man beard. I was like... I think you have it backwards - Razor = face... Razor not= legs.
 
SELFIE THURZDAYYYY

Moments before:
Raw Emotion...

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Moments ago:

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I didn't actually razor shave my face...
 
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