The Heckle Report
- Thread starter The Heckler
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Mountain Bike Mike
Well-Known Member
That pumpkin video still has me laughing.. Standing in line in your kit holding a pumpkin... LOL
The Heckler
You bring new meaning to the term SUCK
Pearl
THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING
The Heckler
You bring new meaning to the term SUCK
SUNDAY
Sorta slept, maybe better then friday night.
Breakfast was 2 eggs, runny yolk served over toast and two coffees.
Longfellows Turkey sub for the road and a coke for post race.
Arrived at 12:20 stopped by the tent, THERE WAS A PARTY GOING ON! FOOD, BEER, WHISKEY, ADULT ROOT BEER, FOOD, FOOD, FRIENDS, BIKES, DEVILED EGGS! Holy cow!
I got in for the extended 'UCI Course Inspection' pre-ride and did a few laps or so. The course was pretty different from anything done the last two years. Everything was scrambled, they reused some stuff backwards and some stuff forwards with some brand new re-routes. The crowning jewel being a double sandpit the length of two beach volley ball courts, end line to end line.
As i hit the pavement to cross the road to the sandpit my first lap I got COMPLETELY disoriented. The course tape ended dropping you to the road which had cones on both sides. The corner was also a hairpin. I had to stop and look around to get my bearings. REDO! and into the sand!
Womp. I made it half way. I don't ride much sand. Where is the line?!
REDO!
2/3 of the way!
REDO!
Ok, I made it. Slowed down at the end. Lets see what the rest of this jawn is about. Woah, tight corner! GAH WHY IS IT SO SANDY AND LOOSE!? WHAT THE FLUCK IS THAT ROOT ABOUT IN THE TIGHT SAND CORNER?!
Ok, lead into the next pit. The college kids taped slight turns which actually had a line that went straight through. Good try guys. WOAH headwind off the lake makes it tough to pedal! IN THE SAND! and out of gas 15 feet in.
REDO!
20 feet.
REDO
aw fluck it I'm running this.
I get in another lap. and back to the sand. I ride so little sand I decide I need to just attack with runaway train Matt speed into the first and shift and spin as per @Superfly100guy 's recommendation up the left. I turn onto the pavement and sprint up to FULL SPEED, I pick a rut and down shift a gear coasting the first 15 feet then spinning myself through pretty effortlessly! SMOOTH!
Part Two! SPIN SPIN SPIN up the left WOAH! FIRM GROUND! halfway through is hardened up and accelerated!
As the elite women we staging Zach and I rode by the pit. We were yelled at to get off the course. So aiming at the next course crossing we continued away to heed the yell. AGAIN. "GET OFF OF THE COURSE, NOW!!!!" a response of heading to the next exit wasn't enough. cool it, old dude.
Went back to the tent and had half my sandwich. And a deviled egg. And 4 small pieces of that coffee cake. WHICH WAS THE BEST I'VE EVER HAD!!!!
Warm up was mostly riding to the bathroom and back between bottles. More preride pre elite mens, more water and bathroom, a couple hill repeats and some chillax time. Number is 211 for the day. I left 212 pinned in hopes the same number but some jerk didn't show day 2.
THE START! Left turn start on Sunday at the top of the hill. I'm in the top 10 solidly and compliment the guys around me when we made it to the pavement corner for keeping our shit together with no incident!
A couple passes first lap before the sand. I was ready for a shit show and a shit show I got.
The guy in front of me took the middle line, I went left since it was the most free and it was the side I never tried. Went smoothly until a dude goes down 15 feet ahead. I had pleanty of room and steered around. Made a few passes at the exit. Next pit I try to spin through, slow up, dismount and start running. I've never been a fast runner, and I still have a slight fat kid complex BUT I PASSED 2 or 3 guys who were also running, so hat was cool.
I make my way to 3rd place with Andrew 10 bikes ahead and 1st place way off the front (again). I tear lightning through the first sandpit and then somehow hookup COMPLETELY through teh second and pop out on andrew's wheel! Tight! We ride together for a few corners but I loose ground again before the team tent. Didn't recover fast enough from the sand.
Tim from King Kog comes by me with 2 to go at the S/F hill. I only sprint 2/3 and decide to spin the last 3rd, Tim stayed on it and blew by. He got a few lengths which I closed on the corners, then he'd open on the straights. We both began reeling in Andrew who I though was out of reach. Tim connects with Andrew before the sand and I'm still a few seconds back. They both struggle through the first pit and I close it to one bike length! I SHIFT THE FRONT! I DROP MY CHAIN!
I pedal it on, I'm back where I was.
Another lap, no loss, no gain. WE HIT THE SAND! Tim and Andrew slow up at the end! I RIP THROUGH! GINGERLY SHIFT THE FRONT! and I drop my chain. and they put the gap back on, and I shift it on. I begin to feel pressure from riders closing in. I pedal half pit 2 then sprint the rest. With just half a lap less I turn on the gas. I'm not far behind Tim but he turns it on also and gaps me a little. They were 5 seconds ahead into the last stairs which I had been getting worse and worse at riding. I ran them. 5th was aways back. They were just finishing as I hit the pavement.
A solid 4th finish. Cool!
Sorta slept, maybe better then friday night.
Breakfast was 2 eggs, runny yolk served over toast and two coffees.
Longfellows Turkey sub for the road and a coke for post race.
Arrived at 12:20 stopped by the tent, THERE WAS A PARTY GOING ON! FOOD, BEER, WHISKEY, ADULT ROOT BEER, FOOD, FOOD, FRIENDS, BIKES, DEVILED EGGS! Holy cow!
I got in for the extended 'UCI Course Inspection' pre-ride and did a few laps or so. The course was pretty different from anything done the last two years. Everything was scrambled, they reused some stuff backwards and some stuff forwards with some brand new re-routes. The crowning jewel being a double sandpit the length of two beach volley ball courts, end line to end line.
As i hit the pavement to cross the road to the sandpit my first lap I got COMPLETELY disoriented. The course tape ended dropping you to the road which had cones on both sides. The corner was also a hairpin. I had to stop and look around to get my bearings. REDO! and into the sand!
Womp. I made it half way. I don't ride much sand. Where is the line?!
REDO!
2/3 of the way!
REDO!
Ok, I made it. Slowed down at the end. Lets see what the rest of this jawn is about. Woah, tight corner! GAH WHY IS IT SO SANDY AND LOOSE!? WHAT THE FLUCK IS THAT ROOT ABOUT IN THE TIGHT SAND CORNER?!
Ok, lead into the next pit. The college kids taped slight turns which actually had a line that went straight through. Good try guys. WOAH headwind off the lake makes it tough to pedal! IN THE SAND! and out of gas 15 feet in.
REDO!
20 feet.
REDO
aw fluck it I'm running this.
I get in another lap. and back to the sand. I ride so little sand I decide I need to just attack with runaway train Matt speed into the first and shift and spin as per @Superfly100guy 's recommendation up the left. I turn onto the pavement and sprint up to FULL SPEED, I pick a rut and down shift a gear coasting the first 15 feet then spinning myself through pretty effortlessly! SMOOTH!
Part Two! SPIN SPIN SPIN up the left WOAH! FIRM GROUND! halfway through is hardened up and accelerated!
As the elite women we staging Zach and I rode by the pit. We were yelled at to get off the course. So aiming at the next course crossing we continued away to heed the yell. AGAIN. "GET OFF OF THE COURSE, NOW!!!!" a response of heading to the next exit wasn't enough. cool it, old dude.
Went back to the tent and had half my sandwich. And a deviled egg. And 4 small pieces of that coffee cake. WHICH WAS THE BEST I'VE EVER HAD!!!!
Warm up was mostly riding to the bathroom and back between bottles. More preride pre elite mens, more water and bathroom, a couple hill repeats and some chillax time. Number is 211 for the day. I left 212 pinned in hopes the same number but some jerk didn't show day 2.
THE START! Left turn start on Sunday at the top of the hill. I'm in the top 10 solidly and compliment the guys around me when we made it to the pavement corner for keeping our shit together with no incident!
A couple passes first lap before the sand. I was ready for a shit show and a shit show I got.
The guy in front of me took the middle line, I went left since it was the most free and it was the side I never tried. Went smoothly until a dude goes down 15 feet ahead. I had pleanty of room and steered around. Made a few passes at the exit. Next pit I try to spin through, slow up, dismount and start running. I've never been a fast runner, and I still have a slight fat kid complex BUT I PASSED 2 or 3 guys who were also running, so hat was cool.
I make my way to 3rd place with Andrew 10 bikes ahead and 1st place way off the front (again). I tear lightning through the first sandpit and then somehow hookup COMPLETELY through teh second and pop out on andrew's wheel! Tight! We ride together for a few corners but I loose ground again before the team tent. Didn't recover fast enough from the sand.
Tim from King Kog comes by me with 2 to go at the S/F hill. I only sprint 2/3 and decide to spin the last 3rd, Tim stayed on it and blew by. He got a few lengths which I closed on the corners, then he'd open on the straights. We both began reeling in Andrew who I though was out of reach. Tim connects with Andrew before the sand and I'm still a few seconds back. They both struggle through the first pit and I close it to one bike length! I SHIFT THE FRONT! I DROP MY CHAIN!
I pedal it on, I'm back where I was.
Another lap, no loss, no gain. WE HIT THE SAND! Tim and Andrew slow up at the end! I RIP THROUGH! GINGERLY SHIFT THE FRONT! and I drop my chain. and they put the gap back on, and I shift it on. I begin to feel pressure from riders closing in. I pedal half pit 2 then sprint the rest. With just half a lap less I turn on the gas. I'm not far behind Tim but he turns it on also and gaps me a little. They were 5 seconds ahead into the last stairs which I had been getting worse and worse at riding. I ran them. 5th was aways back. They were just finishing as I hit the pavement.
A solid 4th finish. Cool!
soulchild
Well-Known Member
The Heckler
You bring new meaning to the term SUCK
The short answer is I'm a wimp.
The Heckler
You bring new meaning to the term SUCK
Lou, I can't stop laughing at how HARD you sling shot yourself over the bars there. It's remarkable.
ChrisG
Unapologetic Lifer for Rock and Roll
I'm not buying that.
You're for sure stronger than me, and I was never bogged down using the 44 with a 12x25 on the back.
ChrisG
Unapologetic Lifer for Rock and Roll
Pearl
THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING
GO BIG OR GO HOME
The guy you see crash first has been killing the NJ B's, I thought I picked the right wheel to follow. WRONG
I slowly come to a halt, safely dismount, and make @Dutch Frog crash 😛
The guy you see crash first has been killing the NJ B's, I thought I picked the right wheel to follow. WRONG
I slowly come to a halt, safely dismount, and make @Dutch Frog crash 😛
Dutch Frog
Member
That video is too good. You can watch the horror unfold. Lou looks like he leaves frame, and enters orbit. I just look stupid.
soulchild
Well-Known Member
Me too (in retrospect) haha!
I legit thought I broke my back doe!
Go really fast until something slows you down, no?
THIS!!!
Coming In HOT!!!!!
My instinct was to smash the road and drill it through the sand... hell when am I ever at the front of a race?
If you watch in slow motion it looks like you dismount and kick Zach off the bike haha
The best part is how the field of vision opens up with perfect timing to watch me go out in a blaze of glory!
Dominos
Well-Known Member
I've been watching this video all day, and it just keeps getting better and better.
I'm just floored at how many of you guy OTB. The video that Nelson posted (King Kog dude that ate shit in the parking lot before the race trying to ride a wheelie) has an additional one I think.
@ChrisG - correct me if I'm wrong but I think the entire 45+ class rode the first pit on the first lap. I was like, "WTH I'm supposed to pass people here, what is this shit?"
@ChrisG - correct me if I'm wrong but I think the entire 45+ class rode the first pit on the first lap. I was like, "WTH I'm supposed to pass people here, what is this shit?"
