The coming of spring means two things for
us, one, winter is over and two, HOH is close. But before I talk about HOH, let’s jump back to the winter…
So I bailed on BIYF this year mainly because topping last year’s BIYF mortals class was my BIYF swan song per say as a solely hours based competition never really suits me and I really didn’t have much interest in. I also wanted to just be void of the normal BIYF banter even though I always ride in the winter and BIYF was a place to further document such rides. I had also meet my 10,000 milestone for last year and the last two weeks of the year I wasn’t into throwing down some big hour weeks. So that was that.
But once January 1st came, everything seemed fresh. I found myself in a spot of,
well what now, and a few people mention to try different things and such. Didn’t have much interest in the 10,000 mark again BUT 600 hours did seem somewhat enticing. But F all that, I am just riding, which is basically all I ever do but I am getting on the mtb at least two times a week and finding it more funner than in the past few years. So as a result and I am putting in 10-14 hours weeks and just doing my thing, Then February rolls around and I hit over 60 with a 17 hour week and some effort in there as well with a few hard efforts on the 70’s days BECAUSE 70 degrees in February. I also moved the alarm time until 4:05, so I could get a solid 2+ hours before 7. All in all, I am riding a shit ton and up on hours from this time last year.
Coming to the weeks of HOH, I have some rest because of the wife being away and I am locked down for kid duty, but I knew it was coming so I had already mentally prepared for the rest. When she returned I was ok on the bike, but damn did my teeth hurt after riding and random other times throughout the day. Thought maybe sinuses but didn’t think much of it until it got really bad and all the time uncomfortable. Like someone stabbing my gums. Go to the dentist last Monday and he thinks it is a small sensitive spot and does a filling,
should be ok in a day or two. Did start to feel better but Wednesday night it is back, enough to wake me from sleeping and Thursday morning the right side of my face looks like the elephant man. WTF. Back to the dentist, tooth infection, need root canal, damn. Decide to wait and kill the infection first and am on my way. Dropping advil every 6 hours like a junkie to help with the pain and the swelling. So still riding but no
tuning was to be had. I had also been riding the Mr Pink around a lot and didn’t have time to get used to the big tires on the EVO except for a ride Friday.
In any case, the night before I made some waffles so I didn’t have to mess around in the AM:
HOH 2017: Make it Hurt on the Dirt
This would be my 7th consecutive HOH and I have always ridden to and from. Even though I moved to PA last year, I had in my head to still ride to the start as it wasn’t much further, 20 miles on each end if I took the most direct route, so only about 7-8 miles further than before. So planning for a 120 mile day. I sleep in until 6:30 (note the downside of waking at 4:00 something every day is that 6:30 is sleeping in) and I am sorta lolly-gagging around, eating dem waffles and dranking some coffee. My son comes downstairs at 7 and ask why I am making so much noise and I tell him to go back to bed. I had planned to leave at 7:30 and as usual, I rush to get ready in the last 10 min, finishing my coffee and waffles too quickly. The temp is right around the
I am going to be cold without warmers temp but I decide to not have knee warmers since they are kinda large to stow away but I do go with arm warmers and a vest. The vest was nice dropping down to the river in Yardley, but otherwise I didn’t really need it.
Two min into my ride, it is spitting rain and I am all like WTF, but whatever, it is what it is and a rainy HOH would be just what everyone needs. Make my way to the Washington X-ing bridge and actually walk across. I am probably 80/20 riding / walking the bridge and I decide to walk in the odd event that the crossing Troll decides this will be the day he tackles one of the assholes who rides across the bridge. Instead I exchange pleasantries with the guy since he is actually out of his troll cave and walking on the ped walkway. I felt I was a little pinched on time so I don’t take the most scenic way there. As I am cresting the small rise to Carter Road, I see Selene Yeager and the dude she is riding with bust a left, heading towards Aunt Molly. I catch up to them just before the dirt on Aunt Molly and bomb dirt section and slow up at the bottom. We talk for a bit and they tell me they rode from Philly. So on 518 they can have my wheel all the way to the start. I see
@jimvreeland riding the opposite was and yell across. Selene and dude thank me for the pull and I go inside around 8:45.
I hit a stoop waffle and some coffee and see
@Chris26er on the way out and he says he wants to front group it. I go outside and see
@Mountain Bike Mike almost immediately (who can miss that helmet!) and make my way over and meet
@David Taylor and
@rottin' and a few other people I forget. Soon enough I see
@pooriggy and eventually 26er joins us for our annual HOH selfie. These guys have been pretty consistent for HOH over the years and it is the one time on year I know I will see them.
photo cred: Iggy
I snap a selfie with Mike and his helmet. Note that I am smirking, not smiling, because my face is a tad swollen and when I smile, the one side of my mouth would not go up. Rip HOH smiles. I am more of a smirker anyways:
I finally meet
@fidodie and ask him where his sleeveless jersey is as I up’ed the pay out to $10 for him to wear it. I also asked where
@rick81721,
@1sh0t1b33r and
@clarkenstein are, but they are far too back in the pack for me to get over there. #next year. Also missed
@Mitch,
@seanrunnette and
@hotsauce
We are too far back for the first group and the dudeman with the rope separating the next group came bye and is right in front of Mike and I and we try and squeeze up. Dudeman is taking his group splitting duties a little too serious and yells something like BACK UP and I oblige only to squeeze under the rope as soon as he is a few people away. Mike tries to do the same but the guy actually yells at him, while I just act like, what, I was already up here. I wasn’t going to give the guy a hard time, dudeman just trying to do his job. Mike ends up trading with some people to get on the other side of the rope, under the suspicious eye of the rope dude but rope dude lets it happen. Soon enough, the electronic voice does a SUPER suspenseful count down and we are off.
I mention to Mike that when doing announcements they mention that these are open roads and be respectful and stay as far to the right as possible and the irony when the first group went off and the announcer yells THEY ARE TAKING OVER THE ROAD, HOH 2017!!!
Didn’t have any of the normal stop/start awkward foot down stuff and on Hollow Road, 26er starts his breakaway and at least 10 guys did the hop out of the saddle and act like they are going to follow while Mike, Iggy, DT and I just ride up to his wheel. We are moving along and go up Grandview and on the next road, MBM is on the front and the pace DROPS and I immediately yell up to him. It is early so a pass is given.
Dutchtown-Zion, first dirt section, DT jump in front of 26er before the dirt doing no-one-knows-what:
I am 3rd wheel here.
And at the dirt I blow off the left side and push it. This is my thing for today, make it hurt on the dirt. At the t intersection at the bottom, I accidently yell car up, when I meant car left and as I come to a stop to let said car go, 4-5 guys 100% blow the stop (including the guy in the Belgian HOH jersey above). Now I am all for blowing stop signs and lights, but dick move fellas. Luckily the car did stop.
So onto Montgomery, great conditions, 1 min into the dirt, quick puncture from 26er’s rear, Mike and I say something and he keeps riding, so maybe not flat. A little later, stopped with the first flat. Ok, so that group heads on and DT leaves us.
Ironically the front of the 3rd group just catches us when the flat was fixed and the rope dude at the start apparently got his revenge. So we are back and going and at the bottom of the hill, Iggy is there but MBM and 26er are not. Some kind of something was happening and they are soon back with us. We see the front of the 3rd group in the distance and 26er and Iggy are pulling to get to them and Mike and I are sitting in. Iggy pulls from behind 26er at least twice, leaving the gap for me to close. The last time he does it, I pull back to MBM and tell him that if I didn’t know better, I would think they are trying to drop us. I thought possibly that this was some sorta of Zwift revenge from 26er or something. In any case, we let them go as we would probably catch them on Rileyville. We see them bridge up to the group and we see them on the lower part of Rileyville, but then they are gone. We pass most of the group they were with by the top of the climb and they are seemingly way ahead on Ridge Road. Mike and I follow the wheel of a Belgian HOH Jersey guy we passed on the climb, until we get to Stoney Brook.
As we make the left onto the dirt, I open it right away and lay it down on the dirt section and we bridge up to another group on the next pavement section. Some dudeman has metal fenders that are clanking on his frame and I know I have to get around him because it would drive me ape shit to hear that. A few seconds later, some guy comes murdering past and I grab his wheel on Snydertown as I love me that road. He is pulling fast and as we approach the small rise and the Hilltop Sprinter Van is there and he tries to sprint for the draft and misses it. I do not and I get motorpaced for awhile. On Linvale, the van is behind us again and I wave him bye. By this time, MBM is back with me and I get out of the saddle to catch the draft of the van, and I am successful. This is fun, whoever is driving is giving me the thumbs up and I pass him again at the next turn. He passes again but I don’t latch this time. Rock Road is the next dirt section and I hit that hard also. I see Iggy and 26er ahead but wait for MBM and on Wertzville they are gone but we catch them at the 202 light and come around asking where they have been.
We are together for awhile and I am on front and when MBM comes around, the space behind him magically opens up,
oh, it like that is it?. Whatever, I will pull all day. I am not killing it to draw someone out to pull and FinKraft and friend take the bait,
score:
photo cred: iggy
They pull us to the next dirt section, Zentek Road, I thought about going around but everyone is all like this dude man is fast, so I pass his friend and stay behind FinKraftoid, which turns out to be the wrong move because half way through he drags us over the biggest pothole on the HOH course and doesn’t call it. I yell HOLE!!! while just barely hopping it and I just hear carnage and yelling behind. Not someone just ate shit carnage, but the kinda carnage when your wheels and frame make a noise that you thought it couldn’t.
Note to self, don’t follow FinKraftoid.
Moving alone, Pine Hill is next and here comes FinKraftoid on the front, pushing the pace annnnndd dudeman blows right past the turn. Supposedly he had flatted and didn’t want to turn, but not so sure on that.
Note to self, don’t follow FinKraftoid.
I almost missed the turn because I was following his wheel. So 26er take off at 50 rpm and passes everyone already on the climb, I am there and MBM passes me at around 150 rpm and puts some day light between us. It is early, I let it go and am following 26er on the dirt downhill and he brakes and I bomb the inside and then we see Jim. For the first time ever, I high five (actually, mid-five) a fat biker.
Thanks for the picture Jim and for the rolling support.
A dirt section or two later, Iggy flats and MBM and I leave them as I am on somewhat of a schedule. FinKraftoid’s friend hits the front eventually and I ride his wheel to the next turn where I take the inside and bomb Strimples Mills. It is nice knowing these roads. MBM comes spinning by on the climb to the rest stop and I following and pass but he passes again. SLAYED. Quick stop, shed arm warmers and off. On Stompf Tavern, behind some crossers MBM knows and we pass them and rip the downhill. Get clogged up by some poor descenders and hit 29 together. We link back up with these crossers after the climb and drop of Federal Twist and they pick the absolute worst spot on 29 to ride, right on a seam and then drop the pace waaaaay low, like 17 mph on flats slow.
So on Worman Road, I ride around and the guy behind MBM follows and paces us up:
The pasty whites are out and about
This guy is moving and he goes off, we catch him on Hamp Rd because of a farm vehicle and we move to the next dirt section and being a crosser, thought he would bomb the sketch descent but instead slams the brakes while I bomb it, barely on the edge of control through the corners and I air off a little bump in the road. I’m not sure what these others are doing but there is a big gap after the dirt section. I ride on and ease up for Mike. Braking crossing guy motors around and I don’t try to hold his wheel. We catch David Taylor on the next climb and sounds like he is hurting. Climb up Lakeview and to the next rest stop.
Very short stop to top bottles and I think about waiting for Selene’s group to pull us but we bomb Hunter Road instead and catch some nice air right at the bridge. Some random lady was taking pics so maybe she got it? I had ridden this section earlier this week and wanted to rip it, so when it turned to more of a farm road, I let it go and almost got caught up with some sketchy stanky leg people on the muddy flats. I yelled at them for switching lines and I blew around.
Barry Road was the last steep dirt section and I wasn’t particularly looking forward to it. I know this climb well and rode it a few times this year. I lead out and MBM comes around, spinning away. He puts some day light between at the crest and I bridge up by the fields. We also pass Braking Cross Dude there and don’t see him again. MBM explodes ahead on the kicker at the end of the road. Then we BOMB Wilson. At this point we are in complete no man’s land, passing a few, every once and awhile someones comes around.
We thank the cop that is stopping traffic on NJ 31 after just watching some lady rider rip some dudes legs off on the approach. I push the speed on the sketch grate bridge at the bottom and pray there is no car to the left, there isn’t andI don’t die. So now we are on Caper’s Loop, my old go-to 20 miler from my old house, which I have practically burned a rut in. A small group passes, we pass them on Aunt Molly and they pass us again on the next climb, where we see
@capedoc bombing the hill. MBM spins off again, not as much daylight and I power over the kicker after the top. Rinse and repeat on the next climb and I put a dig at the top, which brings some sort of cursing from MBM. Not going to lie, that one hurt the legs. Then MBM mentions not liking the little kicker before the downhill on Spring Hill and I dig in again, mainly to bomb the downhill and then we ride it in together.
See
@clarkenstein inside and glad to finally meet him in person too. Grab some food, the t-shirt, some rubber sole glasses for the kid and we eat with Dave and some other people. I also meet Bob Burke, who lives near me and I see on the local leader boards, of which I stole one of his KOM’s last year (and also owns Guy’s Cycles). I also see Brian Ignatin and thank him for putting on such a great ride. After that, I don’t stick around long and head home.
The ride home was uneventful other than seeing a bunch of people take the shortcut on 518 (weak sauce) and seeing this guy waiting for the ded.
I did ride the grates on the bridge on the way home and the crossing Troll was walking the ped walk again and I realized I have a number on my back with my last name and reach back to my pocket to cover the name #whoops.
So overall, this was a good ride. No flats (well, not for me anyways), no crashes, good people, MBM didn’t kill me, I didn’t kill him, riding the F outta the dirt. Seems like winning all around. I never felt particularly good, but never felt that bad. MBM has made leaps and bounds in improvement and I fear for the people lining up next to him. I am not sure where the reckless abandon came from on the dirt sections, but I PR’ed a few of the downhill dirts and top 6’ed a few with Zentek, the only one I didn’t lead on. I have to thank
@jdog for the fitting work he did on this EVO because when I sit on this bike, I become part of it and I have never felt so comfortable on a bike, which allows me to push it further. Thanks to anyone who supported this ride and/or volunteered!
Until next year!
HOH 2017: Make it Hurt in the Dirt
White Socks