I have raised the white flag. Not on anything in particular, but on being frustrated by life and the annoyances and pressures it brings with it. In other words, I can't let it get to me because in the end, it will all eat me up. What does that translate to? I have finally given in on trying to "ramp up" this year. I have come to terms with the fact that I can't magically get back on the bike and be a fraction of what I was last year. I'm ok with that, for now. Not forever, just for now. I hesitate to admit this is the case because so often I see people make excuses, and I didn't want to be one of them. But finally I'm like F this, I can't juggle that many balls.
You do more ball handling than Larry Bird.
So the condo is done, finally. That's 1 thing that's been adding up, and it's finally done with. I actually listed out the things causing me stress to Lou the other day and in all it came to 10 things. But the 10th was the stress of the stress. That's bad. And another was being slow on the bike. As Lou said, when my outlet has become a source of stress, something isn't right. So it was time to dial back the expectations and come to terms with that. I did, then I got on the scale last week and it all came to a head.
I'm north of 200 for the first time in a long time. No wonder I suck at racing. As demoralizing as that might seem, it was actually kind of a relief in a way. Now there are no more excuses, just get to work getting less fat, riding as much as I can, and if a race happens to come along and make sense, well then maybe I'll do it. But then maybe I won't. Last weekend was a kids weekend so we skipped Bubble, which is fine because when I got back on the bike that Sunday after a week off, I was flat as hell. Or a pancake. Or a pancake from hell.
We finally got the house thing worked out. In theory we're going to be in there end of November, early December. That's an awesome positive. Mandi, dinner is generally around 6-7, you guys will be one of the first people we have over. The awesome thing is that we always make 2 meals, 1 adult meal, then a slew of chicken nuggets for Julia & Simon. JPLT can always default to the nuggest if the main meal doesn't work. If we don't have the kids dinner is anywhere from 7-10, it varies.
Iggy links a video clip of a guy who later blows his head off in the movie. He'll be among the people who we invite when we need to inspect the septic or just to come over and bang 2 bricks together.
I'm randomly writing stuff here because why not? Matty makes mention of how I got here and that was losing weight and pushing myself every time I went out there. Really, that's what I need to do now, especially with limited time. Utah doesn't get it but I love going out and hammering myself on the road if I only have an hour, which is the case most of the time now. I need to get a routine, which should be easier to do in the new year, or so. Lots going on, but I need to carve out that groove.
Carson, ditto.
Jeremy got it too, though Lou put it more in terms I finally got. How can I let the thing I love doing cause me stress? Dumb, but it happens. Better than heroin.
The training early in the morning is a point, but I would also argue that I was going into the city every day for 11-12 hours. I don't do that anymore, so getting 8 hours of sleep and riding at noon is a better alternative, I think. Granted, I sometimes go an entire week without riding, and that's my fault, but there's a lot to the pie here. Like apples AND pumpkin. Crazy pie, that is.
Anyway, thanks for the support and I'll be back. I've cut out drinking for now because it adds a dumb number of empty calories. I've also cut out coffee for now because a friend of mine (not on MTBNJ) said he has read some interesting arguments against it. He told me that his hunger subsided when he quit. I'm hoping to get a better control of my appetite, which for those of you who do not remember, is usually incredibly high most of the time. So far I think I have mixed results. I still drink tea, but overall the caffeine is down.
Also, this year had just been constant with the allergies. Finally it frosted a few times so they should start to go away now. But it's been a long allergy season for me. See? So many excuses.
I think one of the things I'm looking forward to the most is having a place to work on my bikes in the new house. And the front porch. And the fireplace. And the basketball hoop out back. And having a nice patio. And the fire pit in the back. And having like 12 rooms in this place. And of course being really close to our new almost-neighbors the Pearls as well as Kirt & Woody too. And having a yard again, not living in a duplex, a much more awesome kitchen, an office with a view to the outside, a reading room, and a sort of second kitchen in the basement. And a basement that is fully furnished and an awesome play room for the kids. And lots of other things. Like fire outside. I love fire outside. Fire and basketball.
A few things I won't look forward to would be cleaning all these bathrooms, ending my bike rides by going uphill, and I guess that's probably about it. On the second one, this is going to suck to have to start winter rides by going downhill for any length of time. 3-4 minutes into the ride I'll be totally frozen. But then it will be cool to explore some (kinda sorta not really) new roads. On the first one, D says we're getting a cleaning lady. I suggested we hire Jake so we can have a cleaning man. Why is it always a lady? Man.
So today is Halloween and Julia is dressing up as Dorothy, Simon as a dinosaur, and Zac we're not entirely sure. Maybe a zombie but I don't think I actually know yet. We'll go out tonight and get candy that the kids will eat and be out of their minds when it's bed time. Then tomorrow we wake up, drop the kids off at school, then head up to Canada where it very well may snow on us. We're thinking of bringing our bikes but we don't know yet. I think we should but I know fully well that riding will be hard to squeeze in. Plus, we've already ridden in Canada together so it won't bring us any closer to our goal of riding in 12 different countries together someday. Anyway, more than likely we will drive our bikes 7-800 miles and end up not riding, or maybe ride once, but the option will be there if we want to ride every day.
Anyway, I ramble on. Things I know we will do in Canada: go to the bank, eat, see D's sister, drink, laugh, go to the bathroom, sit down, stand up, see a few of her friends, and other stuff like that. Item #1 is the reason we have to go. Other than that, it's a pretty unscripted trip. We're also off Monday so it's a 4 day weekend for us. Saturday and Sunday are totally free, which can mean anything. I told her I want to do something new & different, but beyond that we haven't made any plans. My real goal is to forget all about the 10 or 20 or 200 things causing us stress and just enjoy the weekend away from here.
Peace out, and as much as I love you I'm going to crush your soul at SSaP, Mitch.
