Don't know if this helped or not but I'm trying to add more content
Content is good!
I don't think there's a right or wrong choice, but having only a little bit of time with the kid(s) at night is going to be a tough one. I work in the city, but I'm home by 6:00 and my daughter goes to bed at 10:00 most nights. That's a bit of an exception. Many of her friends are in bed by 8:00, and not long ago some of them were asleep by 7:00. Those numbers are tough to come by. But a 3-4 window at night makes my job a lot easier to deal with.
The money is going to be an issue. People like to throw out "don't live to work" but I'm not sure how "working to live" is really anything to strive for. It's a lesser of 2 evils, and personally I don't think applies to this situation. You're clearly not living to work, which is why you posted this thread in the first place.
Carson also has some good points. The grass is always greener. I was recently approached about a potential gig at J&J in New Brunswick. While the commute might be easier, it's also in the heart of traffic, so it could be longer. Would I be able to duck out at 4:15 on slow days? Bag out at 3:00 on Tuesdays? WFH whenever I need (need not want)? A lot of people I know who work very close to home get home 1-2 hours after I do.
The savings on NYS tax (8%?) and commuting costs are good. The extra money spent on your car - gas/tolls/maintenance, is not good. One thing that's generally true about the city is that nobody lives here, so OT is not really expected for most people. The vast majority of us hike in from NJ, CT, or upstate NY. So nobody expects you to be there at 5:01. This office is like a morgue at 5:00. The whole of downtown is like a ghost town at 6:00. So there is that regularity. In your new job, will there be pressure to stay a little longer to get x-y-z done? Will those shorter hours really translate to shorter hours?
Then you need to forward think about the money lost. If it's significant, you're going to wonder if you'll be able to send your kids to college. Don't take that lightly. People can be flippant about what *you* should do with your life. But if you take a new job and then stay awake at night worrying about how you're going to send your kid to college, is that a win?
Workplace happiness is a wildcard, but I assume you factored that in already. From your first post, it seems like you certainly are not appreciated where you are. Not you, per se. But "your kind". Hopefully the same mindset is not as pervasive in the new place.
Then of course there's PB 2.0. An extra 3 hours a day is certainly going to help make that gut go down, the bike go faster, and so on. Obviously you've got some desire to get faster on the bike. The new gig can only help that effort as well.
It's not an easy choice. What you're going to get from most people is the same as what you get with 26/29er debate. Basically: you should pick what I do. I've done it all. I've worked in an office in NJ that was 35 minutes from the house (on a good day). I've worked from home. I've worked in the city. I even worked from Asia for nearly 2 months. I can say that without question, the office in NJ was the worst. The job itself may have had something to do with it. But having to drive the GSP for any length of time was a b-line to insanity.
Every decision will come with the open/closed doors scenario. And every time you open a new one and close the last one, you're going to wonder if if was the right choice. Again, I don't think there is a right choice. You just need to try and weigh everything. Maybe in 6 months a new offer comes along that allows you the same extra 3 hours a day and doesn't come with a pay cut. Who knows.
Anyway, I wish you the best of luck either way. And I still have that kid carrier if you want it.