Heckle-cation the other months of the year.

@The Heckler! I've got a desiccated pinkie bone I found on a sidewalk outside the Church of Infant of Prague. Will that work?
You are the compass rose of heckling
If you think it will bring me some of your quick wit and humor, please pleas please gimme dat desiccated pinkie bone.

Am I the compass rose because all yelling points to me?

I've forgotten time who said it, but the quote goes "When Matt Tyler yells in Gloucester you can hear him in Providence." I'd like to commission that in needle point, maybe with a cowbell or CX themed something on there as well. Up to the artist. If anyone is interested it's worth a case of beer to me.
 
Um, you said it. At Marty's three years ago, top of the run-up. You were running around with that stupid box of Mallomars, trying to jam them into people's breathing holes. I was thinking "who is this asshole?" And then you dropped the marriage bomb. It was magic.
 
Um, you said it. At Marty's three years ago, top of the run-up. You were running around with that stupid box of Mallomars, trying to jam them into people's breathing holes. I was thinking "who is this asshole?" And then you dropped the marriage bomb. It was magic.
ohhhhhh man I don't even remember that. I'm a monster! Gonna have to recycle that one someday.

hey @The Heckler remember when we heckled that guy for stepping on the barriers at charm city and he spit on us? loserrrrr

ANNDDDD remember at Bubblecross where you gave me the worlds first ever Hand down? OMGZZ
If I remember correctly YOU TRIED TO RUN AWAY FROM ME.

And that guy was a HUGE asshole. He deserved mean heckles. Apology not accepted.
 
Oh wait - I remember a The Heckler that shall rename nameless to protect the innocent handing out beer handups at Lew Mo race during the Cat3 races.

I heard a cowbell the other day on a ride and had a PTSD flash back... Shit fucked me up for a few miles.
 
Every time I see yellow caution tape, I panic a bit. I LIKE that bottle. You were insane at HPCX. Spinning like a Dremel, every vein on your head like a 6-Mile root, smiling...
 
tl;dr short track race, didn't get completely lost, cookie-pocalypse

2016 MTBNJ NO SNOW SHORT TRACK RACE #1

YO! RACE DAY!!! I was super stoked about this race and have been since I was the first Open class rider to register. NBD, don't make a big deal out of it.

BREAKFAST!
Had a banana at the house, and picked up a 16oz coffee and a poppy bagel with butter from jersey boy. Nutritious.

Got up to the venue around 8, picked up my number and was totally blown away by the ninja medal cookie men @muddybike made for the event. I NEEDED to win one.

Got dressed and did a couple laps. It's been interesting how the CX people and MTB people have been converging. I was stoked to see @keithgarrison but then everything got a little serious when Dan Chabanov showed up. Not a chance on those cookie man medals.

Lined up second row, @Norm lectured us and I got the sensation known as "I'm about to vom," I didn't Norm hit the siren, and WE WERE OFF. The hole shot went for the length of the fireroad and was a pretty brutal sprint. I had missed my pedal on first strike and fell back a few positions.

I like this 1 mile track format, there were people ALL OVER the woods spectating, heckling, taking pictures and cheering. Made the energy MUCH better then a XC format MTB race.

I had a couple strong laps but started to fade wayy early. I haven't done any intensity in a looong time. I've been on my bike 5-8 hours a week all winter and have just enough pep to be around, but no sauce when I really need it. The ST climb after the turn around hurt pretty good. My click looking gum wall ardents aren't exactly light weight. I think my Epic is weighing in around 29 pounds right now. The last rock at the top crushed my soul lap after lap. The following fast downhill section was SUPER fun. I was cutting gaps there every lap which is cool because I can sorta still steer a bike!

@utah caught me midway through the race and coached me a little.
"That was a bad shift, shift on the downhill!"
"ride with your pedals flat, you hit that rock cause you pedal was down!"
"Jesus it's like I'm riding behind @pearl"

@jShort came around me with a few to go. Him and Nick totally dropped me after about a lap of riding close to them.

When I came around and saw three to go I almost cried.

I caught Matt Erchull with a 1/4 lap to go which surprised me because he passed and dropped me on the third lap. He said he worked up to third but flatted. womp.

I finished 10th/35. The good news was I had a sandwich waiting in the car, so I grabbed that and stuck around to watch the sport race which was VERY entertaining. @rsinger814 and @muddybike ripped off the front, @Flaubert biffed the turn around twice, @MadisonDan was riding a small bike, Andres was racing on flat pedals with a loaner helmet and Dan's running shoes, a few doods ripped monster wheelies and the turnaround generally became braaap central. So much fun to watch.

Afterwards I did a short partial H2H course loop with Utah and Ryan. Utah got us lost, the trails were a bog, Ryan flatted and Utah had to dip. We were with at the top of the climb (bitch slap?) which was all familiar to me so we managed to get out after pumping with my GD micropump for 20 minutes. I lost my high volume pump, I should buy a new one..

Overall fantastic day, beautiful weather, great people, fun course.

I got home, showered then headed to my parents who were hosting "Italian Shiva" for my mothers best friend "Aunt Dee," whose mom just passed away living in Indiana. Long complicated story ends with her being unable to travel so my mom hosted a nice little thing for her. All of her friends came and it was a really pleasant afternoon. It seemed like everyone brought a dessert. I ate WAY too many cookies. Seriously, I have a problem.
 
Nice recap. FYI.. Gloucester is Oct 15-16, 2016. Just in case you were wondering.

Pretty sure Andres had his own shoes on...
 
@utah caught me midway through the race and coached me a little.
"That was a bad shift, shift on the downhill!"
"ride with your pedals flat, you hit that rock cause you pedal was down!"
"Jesus it's like I'm riding behind @pearl"
That will be $75, you can paypal me.

You were doing really well...like I said to you yesterday...you have the go fast power, you just need to work on being smoother in the rocks.

And im just jealous because your beard is better than mine.
 
"Got up to the venue around 8, picked up my number and was totally blown away by the ninja medal cookie men @muddybikemade for the event. I NEEDED to win one."

Awww thanks! I have an extra... What'll you give me for it??
 
"Got up to the venue around 8, picked up my number and was totally blown away by the ninja medal cookie men @muddybikemade for the event. I NEEDED to win one."

Awww thanks! I have an extra... What'll you give me for it??
SOUNDS LIKE I'LL HAVE TO RACE YOU FOR IT.

Which would be tough because you are a 100% bonafide soul crusher. Good job out there yesterday!
 
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