So way back in February around Page 216-ish of Norm's blog, there was some talk of work... well... he talks about work often in his blog but, at that time, I had made a few self-incriminating work comments. I'm still not sure how much I want to go into... but I would like to start addressing a few things at least... And I'll start off with the two points Norm stated.
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It's a "me' problem: Sure. I mean I can only control how I react to something... I can't control what others do. So if someone does something that annoys or stresses me out, I can only control my reaction to that situation and I've been letting a lot of other people and stuff get under my skin. I need to chill and let a lot more things roll off my back. But I do feel like it's two steps forward and three steps back some days. Case in point: I've said numerous times I will not train D to do my job. Now, on the surface this sounds like a really shitty thing to do or say in a corporate world. But, allow me to explain. I work in a few Adobe programs but mostly InDesign for the basic layout of the newsletter. I have a BA in English and actually went back to take additional design/art classes in case I needed to get another degree/ concentration in Graphic Design/ Arts/ Whatever. I've worked doing my "thing" all throughout college, after college, corporate world, favors for friends, etc. I've seen a number of programs for this kind of work come and go and die horrible deaths along the way (anyone remember Pagemaker). So needless to say I have a lot of experience. D is a copy editor. He's very good at his job. His tech skills are extremely lacking tho... to the point he's needed IT help to log into his laptop. Yes. For realz. I am 85% of the way training someone else to be my backup. S is young and smart and has some background experience with InDesign. She still has a number of questions and still needs to have her work checked but I can actually take a vacation and not have the whole place blow up. But my supervisor J is retiring in 2 years and he wants to have another backup for me so he wants me to train D to do my job. I have said no a few times now. Again, that sounds really shitty but he has no experience whatsoever in any kind of design program or art background. He is a copy editor. He is really good with words and debating single versus double quotes and oxford commas and all that shit. But this isn't a job for someone with those skills. What you need to do is hire someone who has some layout background in addition to copy editing skills. I cannot teach someone like D who has laptop log in issues a program like InDesign and then all the specifics of the job itself. And, yet, I've been told that in the next year I will have to train him. How do I react to that? How do I also react to the perceived insult that my job can be taught to anyone?
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Deep down you hate your job: Yes and no. I realized early on in college that I actually really liked the "behind the scenes" stuff.... The giant puzzle of putting all the stories and art and ads together into one pretty presentation... the working with various departments like data, advertising, editorial, marketing, printing companies, etc. I am one of the few people who gets to be with every department... and there are some really amazing people I have been lucky enough to work with. But at the end of the day, it is work. It is stress. It is deadlines and people who dump stuff on me at the last moment. It could be bad managers and senior leadership teams that make you feel expendable. When new company bought my old company, I was sure I would be laid off. I thought for sure they thought I was overpaid and redundant for something they could have a random graphic designer do. Even 4 years into the new company, part of me still feels that way. My old bosses really made me feel wanted and they never separated themselves from the newsroom atmosphere. My boss was there every single late night I had to work. It was never 5pm See ya! He was in the trenches. New company is a lot more corporate which leaves a sour taste in my mouth (in fact, in our "anonymous" employee surveys, senior leadership team scored alarmingly low). Corporate has its perks but it also comes with a feeling of I'm just a number. And I've said a number of times now that if I were ever to be laid off, I don't think I'd do this job anymore. The added work under the new company has let me really shine and I actually won an employee award (voted on by my peers). I've been recognized for my work on especially difficult weeks. I've been given extra "off the book" days off as a perk. And yet, I am tired. I am worn out. I am frustrated. I think I am burned out. I joke about quitting and "becoming a barista" but would that be that bad if I am just happier and less all of the other stuff? And before anyone suggests finding a new job, I have taken looks here and there and some of my friends have sent me job postings but I am paid way more here than any other place I've seen. Like literally starting salary would be half what I make now.
