The Fort Knox of baby gates

clarkenstein

JORBA Money Launderer
JORBA.ORG
This gate is no joke. The bars are forged from steel heated over the fires of Kilauea. If you put your ear to them, you can hear the sounds of the waves beating at the foothills of the mountain. The locks have been designed by a collaboration between MIT and Cal-Tech, and are rumored to be the same locks used to hold the most dangerous prisoners in the world. The screws are armor-piercing and will go through any wall, steel, heck, even stone you throw at them.

No one human can escape from this gate. In fact, when I put it up in my house, I couldn't leave the upstairs for a week until I was rescued. It was exhausting, but I have come to thank the gate for the experience. I am humbled by its security, and only wish that one day, I too can be locked up just like it.

All of this can be yours FREE as I cannot sell this gate in good conscience, as it owns me.

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clarkenstein

JORBA Money Launderer
JORBA.ORG
no one has one in the oven they want to trap behind bars? or a buck-toothed knee biter running around that can't take a fall down stairs (yet)?

if no one takes this i'm gonna install it at the canal lot at 6MR and close it on muddy days.
 
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