Smoking Mittens...WTF!

I'm going to invent a pair of pants you can crap in. A remote-control button activates a portal leading up to your ass that opens when it's time for poopy -- that way you don't even have to take your pants off. The deluxe version does the pushing for you, and the World Cup pants not only does the pushing but immediately incinerates the poop, eliminating the need for bathrooms. Genius.
 
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