manly bike for sale

gtluke

The Moped
http://sfbay.craigslist.org/sfc/bik/810877217.html

cut/paste in case it gets deleted

Manly Bike for Sale (San Francisco)
Reply to: sale-810877217@craigslist.org [?]
Date: 2008-08-24, 12:14PM PDT


Bike for sale


What kind of bike? I don't know, I'm not a bike scientist. What I am though is a manly guy looking to sell his bike. This bike is made out of metal and kick ass spokes. The back reflector was taken off, but if you think that deters me from riding at night, you're way wrong. I practiced ninja training in Japan's mount Fuji for 5 years and the first rule they teach about ninja biking is that back reflectors let the enemy know where you are. Not having a rear reflector is like saying "FUCK YOU CAR, JUST TRY AND FIND ME".



The bike says Giant on the side because it's referring to my junk, but rest assured even if you have tiny junk that Giant advertisement is going to remain right where it is. I bought this bike for 300 dollars from a retired mercenary that fought in both World War 1 and World War 2 and had his right arm bitten off by a shark in the Phillipines while stationed there as a shark handler. When he sold it to me I had to arm wrestle him for the honor to buy it. I broke his arm in 7 places when I did. He was so impressed with me he offered me to be his son but I thought that was sissy shit so I said no way.



The bike has some rusted screws, but that just shows how much of a bad ass you are. Everyone knows rusted screws on a bike means that you probably drove it underwater and that's bad ass in itself. Those screws can be replaced with shiny new ones, but if you're going to go to that trouble why not just punch yourself in the balls since you're probably a dickless lizard who doesn't like to look intimidating.



The bike is for men because the seat is flat or some shit and not shaped like a dildo. If you like flat seated bikes you're going to love this thing because it doesn't try to penetrate your ass or anything.



I've topped out at 75 miles per hour on this uphill but if you're just a regular man you'll probably top it out at 10 miles per hour. This thing is listed as a street bike which is man-code for bike tank. The bike has 7 speeds in total:


Gear 1 - Sissy Gear
Gear 2 - Less Sissy Gear
Gear 3 - Least Sissy Gear
Gear 4 - Boy Gear
Gear 5 - Pre-teen Boy Gear
Gear 6 - Manly Gear
Gear 7 - Big Muscles Gear

I only like gear 6 and 7 to be honest.


Additionally, this tool of all immense men comes with a gigantic lock to keep it secure. The lock is the size of a bull's testicles and tells people you don't fuck around with locking up your bike tank. It tells would-be-thieves "Hey asshole, touch this bike and I'll appear from the bushes ready to club you with a two-by-four".


Bike is for 150 OBO (and don't give me no panzy prices)




* Location: San Francisco
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 810877217
 

BiknBen

Well-Known Member
SanFran Dude said:
The bike says Giant on the side because it's referring to my junk.

That is F'in classic.

I can't help but laugh any time I see a man refer to his most intimate of areas as his "Junk".
 

Pearl

THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING
Team MTBNJ Halter's
my favorite: This thing is listed as a street bike which is man-code for bike tank.
 

sixseven

New Member
You're not too familiar with craigslist are you? They won't take that down. That's going to be on best of craigslist in a couple of months. In fact I'm going to go vote for it.

BTW Craig is from Morristown, NJ

It is from the BEST OF.
 

gtluke

The Moped
You're not too familiar with craigslist are you? They won't take that down. That's going to be on best of craigslist in a couple of months. In fact I'm going to go vote for it.

BTW Craig is from Morristown, NJ

hi you must be new to the internet. that ad was posted on sunday. i guess it has now been added to the best of
 

MixMastaMM

Team Bulldog Rider
I just got this on myspace:

I swear this is NOT virus or spam or crap like that, as much as I hate spammage. -_-;;;

I was wondering if you were interested in buying a bike my boyfriend has for sale on craigslist. He's selling it for less than half of what it's worth, especially considering all the brand new parts put into it. Please take a look at the link below, if you would. ^_^

http://knoxville.craigslist.org/bik/815483743.html

Oh and btw the bike's gonna be gone by Saturday because by then we would have moved (been evicted is more precise). The bike's the only thing we could think of that would keep us afloat for the week. If you know anyone else that is interested in buying a bike then please by all means would you give them word of it? In any case, thanks anyway if you read this far.
^_^

I'm going to counter offer them $600.
 

clutch

New Member
hi you must be new to the internet. that ad was posted on sunday. i guess it has now been added to the best of

Tell me again why you thought it might get deleted. I was just pointing out that something funny like that would not get deleted, in fact it would be a great candidate for best of. Which was correct because it was added to the best of on the 22nd of July. The one you linked to must have been a repost.
 

gtluke

The Moped
Tell me again why you thought it might get deleted. I was just pointing out that something funny like that would not get deleted, in fact it would be a great candidate for best of. Which was correct because it was added to the best of on the 22nd of July. The one you linked to must have been a repost.

because its in the for sale section, and when people mess around in sections other than designated type your heart out sections, things sometimes get deleted.
 
J

jimex7

Guest
I just bought the bike thanks for posting that. My cousin lives out there and it was a perfect birthday present for him.
 

dualfisted

Member
not that i will, but......

If I should EVER sell a bike that I own, I can only hope to come up with something half as witty
 
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