Joke

[NickDavid]

A man is sitting in his chair watching a football game, when he says to his wife, "Honey, grab me a beer!"

His Wife says, "Nope, grab it yourself."

So he yells to her again, "Honey, grab me a beer!"

Once again his wife says, "No, grab it yourself!"

He starts getting fed up with this, and says, "If you don't grab me a beer, you're not going to see me for a few days."

His wife shrugs it off and says, "Who cares, grab it yourself!"

So one day goes by and she doesn't see him.
The second day goes by and she still doesn't see him.
Finally by time the third day came around, the swelling in her eyes went down enough so she could barely see him.

 

[THATmanMANNY]

happy friday!

I met an older woman at a bar last night. She looked pretty good for a 60-year-old.
In fact, she wasn't too bad at all, and I found myself thinking she probably had a really hot daughter. We drank a couple of beers, and she asked if I'd ever had a Sportsman's Double?
'What's that? I asked.
'It's a mother and daughter threesome,' she said.
As my mind began to embrace the idea, and I wondered what her daughter might look like,
I said, 'No, I haven't.'
We drank a bit more, then she said with a wink, 'tonight's your lucky night'.
We went back to her place. We walked in.
She put on the hall light and shouted upstairs:Mom...you still awake?

 

[Pearl]

 

[Arwen's Mom]

fastest way to a man's heart?
through his stomach?
NO
its through his chest

 

[extremedave]

Vintage but a goodie:

Old guy on his deathbed in the hospital. Has four boys, three with blond hair and blue eyes, youngest with brown hair and green eyes.
Says to his wife with the last of his breath, "honey, please tell me the truth. Is my youngest son really mine?"
Wife replies, "I swear to you that your youngest son is truly yours."
Man passes, smile on his face.
Wife looks at nurse and says, "whew, glad he didn't ask about the first three!"

 

[elzoller]

must be a slow day.....

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