Coffee Reversion, and what I've been doing wrong
I have reverted to being a coffee drinker. Demon Brew keeps drawing me back in. It started with a need to perk up one morning when I had to awake at 4:30 am to get ready for work and was not fully functional until I had a good jolt. After that, I had a cup or two before my night shift job to keep myself awake for the duration. This weekend, I was caught up in enjoying a few cuppa while I painted the bedrooms in our new house in-between sharing baby duties with husband. LSS, I am back on "the sauce." I've lost this battle against coffee.
I've taken some time to take a look back at my food logs and the general level of activity and obligations I've had lately. The revelations are not surprising: I'm exercising less and eating more poorly. I'm not eating more food - less, maybe, or at least the same amount of food but in one lump sum rather than portioned out over 5 or 6 meals - but the food I eat is of poor quality and is poorly timed so I feel more hungry and less satisfied by my meals. Yesterday we were painting the house and I did not eat much breakfast, had a spotty lunch (mostly comprised of Doritos) and a big dinner. I felt out of sorts and had a headache all day, and I know it was due to my eating. My diet has been neglected of late and it has been the spur that made most other parts of my life spin out of control.
The second part of my recent issues has been my lack of exercise. I know there are some that could point to my day and say I just did not take advantage of free time in my schedule to exercise, or that I should have scheduled exercise so I would not miss it, but I am not sure it is that easy. I fit in runs when I can, but bike rides have been right-out these past few weeks. Up until Friday night I had a part-time job I worked only at night, but I can't ride during the day since I need someone to watch Little One. Also, I have a new and wonderful job starting soon, and I've been attending some preliminary meetings to get curriculum and thread continuum ingrained in my head so I can best plan my year. I have been busy with packing up the house to move, and still feel like I am not doing enough to keep life moving forward.
This brings me to one thing I've started to recognize lately: My Mind is My Enemy. I think I've known this for a long time, but I'm only now starting to articulate the idea in words and committing the statement to writing so I can be held accountable for it. In my mind, I fail often (even when I succeed.) I have to reprogram myself to see the positives and discard negatives when they cannot teach me something valuable. Am I busy busy right now? Yes. Does it leave me little time to workout? Yes, but it will be over soon and I can mitigate the effects of no exercise with a better diet.
In about two weeks I'll be settled into a new house and a new job, and will develop a new routine around it. It's tempting to think that I can wait until I'm "settled" to start over again, but that's not true. I have to Start Today. So I will. I am. With a good breakfast. And a walk (if not an outright run) before the temps and humidity soar to places that make sitting the shade an uncomfortable venture.