“The Rules”. A point or counterpoint

[jShort]

Some of the Rules are bullshit. If you don’t know about the rules, here you go. Some make sense but a lot make me roll my eyes. When I read some I can’t help but think “what roadie prick wrote these?”

So I (and we) should go over each one and let everyone else know your position on each rule. I’m not saying I’m the definitive perspective. I encourage counter arguments.

This idea came upon me on my ride today. I often get great million dollar ideas while on my bike but I never remember to execute on them. Here’s my attempt to change that.

I think these first few are setting the table. They don’t really tell you anything other than what to expect with the rest.

But here....

Maybe this is sarcasm? I don’t know what a twatwaffle is but I completely disagree. Especially nowadays. Considering all new bikes generally look the same, this rule have have lost its relevance.

There’s nothing unique anymore. Carbon frames with carbon wheels. Fat bikes are a dime a dozen.

Back when I started riding (not that long ago) you’d see custom steel, titanium, unique stuff... like an EWR. Ibis was hardly big yet so when you saw one of the them it was enough to take a second look. But now it’s all the same. old. thing.

It not all about any one thing. It’s about all the little things. The thing that gives us an identity by being a cyclist, mountain biker, bike rider, trail advocate, whatever. That’s what it’s all about.


I’ll go over some more rules later. But what’s everyone else’s thought on this?

 

[jmanic]

First.

 

[Steve Vai]

I always thought Rule#4 was sarcasm. A way to justify buying stupid shit that doesn't help you ride better in any way. Like a gold stem, or titanium bolts, custom paint, that kinda thing.

 

[pooriggy]

Fuck rules.
The cool shit came from not following rules.

 

[Pearl]

There’s nothing unique anymore. Carbon frames with carbon wheels. Fat bikes are a dime a dozen.

Minus FS29ers, tons of unique stuff to be seen around. i mean, isn’t your Turner unique or just rare to see around? I only have seen two of them, you and Kurt

 

[SmooveP]

Seriously debating the legitimacy of a statement that includes the word "twatwaffle"? I worry.

That said, while the author clearly intends twatwaffle as a pejorative term, it doesn't conjure up any negative associations in my mind.

 

[Jmann]

I didn’t think anyone took those rules serious, (ok I know a handful of guys in nyc that do). And I assume the list is tongue in cheek. I sort of agree with pro team kit and sock height, but whatever.

 

[Patrick]

rule #4 - it is all about the bike - how you dress it up, what you don't add, the angle of the seat.

for instance, who races cx with a bottle cage? (if you said yes, rethink your position)
what about the bar tape?
did you go the extra step and get matching sidewalls (although black is always ok) ?
are the brake hoses trimmed? so the arcs match?
Cable end crimps correctly attached?

it is not about comparing bikes, it is about the bike you are riding right now......

 

[TimBay]

Didnt read the full list. Any rules like: be cool and encouraging to fellow riders. Don't be an elitist prick. When you scare some lady out of her pants by simply saying "hi" from 15 feet away while going .5 mph, try not to laugh (that shit is funny tho).

 

[A Potted Plant]

Does anyone have a good recipe for rice crispy treats?

 

[stb222]

There are 100 something rules, so obviously sarcasm.
the most valid one is probably HTFU. It is dumb to say it, but when it comes down to it, at somepoint you just need to HTFU.

 

[jmanic]

There are 100 something rules, so obviously sarcasm.
the most valid one is probably HTFU. It is dumb to say it, but when it comes down to it, at somepoint you just need to HTFU.

I was going to wait until we got to rule 5, but since it’s been raised....

 

[Delish]

I like The Rules as parody but they have been misappropriated. Phil Gaimon’s new rules actually make sense for real humans
https://philthethrill.net/the-new-rules-of-cycling-aka-philuminati/

Here’s an excerpt for the lazy

 

[phillychris498]

Rule #0 (Specific to the Woods):

Thou shall NOT create a ride around that cuts the original trail, whether to make the trail easier for oneself or to receive a tainted KOM.

 

[Norm]

I always thought HTFU was kind of entertaining in the context of what we do. I mean, next time you're going to go out to ride, look at yourself for like 4 minutes in a full length mirror. It's a sort of misplaced expression. Then think of what you do for a living, how much all this shit costs, the fact that you probably matched your socks to your kit and maybe even your gloves and glasses.

Then tomorrow go be a lumberjack for a week and reevaluate what "HTFU" really means.

 

[stb222]

I always thought HTFU was kind of entertaining in the context of what we do. I mean, next time you're going to go out to ride, look at yourself for like 4 minutes in a full length mirror. It's a sort of misplaced expression. Then think of what you do for a living, how much all this shit costs, the fact that you probably matched your socks to your kit and maybe even your gloves and glasses.

Then tomorrow go be a lumberjack for a week and reevaluate what "HTFU" really means.

I like The Rules as parody but they have been misappropriated. Phil Gaimon’s new rules actually make sense for real humans
https://philthethrill.net/the-new-rules-of-cycling-aka-philuminati/

Here’s an excerpt for the lazy
View attachment 99149

But just remember, Phil challenged the rules as a way to sell tickets to his events. He had that bad crash at Trexlertown a few weeks ago, coincidence? The Illuminati reach is long...

 

[jShort]

You guys are jumping ahead. Whatever the intent was when writing these, they are used pretty often in normal (non sarcastic/ paradoxical) conversation. People use them all the time.
We must discuss.

This one I like. More when talking to myself then telling someone else what to do. It's more of a motivational rule than an insult (which is also used as).
Once in a while I'll catch myself slacking and this might be used to snap out of it.

 

[stb222]

You guys are jumping ahead. Whatever the intent was when writing these, they are used pretty often in normal (non sarcastic/ paradoxical) conversation. People use them all the time.
We must discuss.

View attachment 99160


This one I like. More when talking to myself then telling someone else what to do. It's more of a motivational rule than an insult (which is also used as).
Once in a while I'll catch myself slacking and this might be used to snap out of it.

I apologize, I misunderstood the rule of must follow thread rules.

 

[jShort]

I apologize, I misunderstood the rule of must follow thread rules.

It's ok. I'm in line with Iggy's "fuck the rules" attitude. That's why I though of this in the first place.

 

[ebarker9]

Whatever the intent was when writing these, they are used pretty often in normal (non sarcastic/ paradoxical) conversation. People use them all the time.

If you're around people who are referencing these in a serious way, I'd recommend either responding with a look of serious disappointment any time the topic comes up until the behavior changes or otherwise finding different people to be around.