Well it’s been a while since my last update, so here it goes…….
Chemo was delayed 3 times so far, 2 for low platelet count and once for low neutrophil levels which is all chemo related effects. This morning I was supposed to meet my oncologist to discuss my future as I only have 2 chemo weeks left but I had to cancel after a call this morning from them that my insurance was inactive. Nice surprise!!! This info comes after we received word that my mother in law, who is in a care facility recovering from covid, fell and fractured her hip while doing something she shouldn’t do. Imagine my surprise when I found out she and my wife were suffering effects of covid, I honestly though my wife had just pushed herself too hard caring for a cancer patient and a 92 y/o mom with dementia. Thankfully I was not suffering any symptoms of covid which honestly had me quite frightened as I thought that a bad case of covid may just end me. Somehow, and I’m puzzled by this, my immune system which is compromised by chemo, was strong enough to keep me “healthy” through this.
So today I ventured out of my cocoon and drove to work and was hoping to discuss my insurance situation with my general manager. Yeah, he quit and moved to Pittsburgh and has not been replaced yet. That could be the reason for the foul up, time will tell. The good thing is everyone seemed quite pleased to see me and I spent many hours answering the same questions over and over….but they all seemed genuinely concerned for me.
Tomorrow is when mom’s surgery is scheduled and I hope that goes well. It’s hard watching people you love mentally disappear and sadly she seems to want to do herself in. It’s quite a strange thing to hear her say she wants to die as I’m trying desperately to live. My own mother is struggling with life as she has had a couple of strokes and can’t speak well at all. She seems to only be able to talk out of one side of her mouth. She is mobile though and can get around without much assistance while my mother in law is completely dependent on others….hence the reason for her fall.
I am praying that I can live another 10-15 years without becoming a burden to my family, or society. Chances are that my goal is lofty, but I would rather die crashing my bike after a big drop and not sticking the landing as apposed to sitting in a chair hoping someone will take care of me.
