I am one of the first pupils at the Halter's School of Bicycle Abuse and Disrepair.
Curriculum as follows:
Day 1 :
10-10:30am - get bagels and coffee for everybody, payed for by student
10:30-11am - watch other employees eat bagels, sip coffee, and curse at you (11:02 am - look to see if a morsel of bacon or a sesame seed is left in wrapper)
11:03-6pm - work on Huffy's and install training wheels on 16" bikes
Day 2: Same as Day 1, with the addition of buying pizzas for everyone for lunch
Day 3: Same as Day 2, with the addition of working on all the bikes using a butter knife, canola oil, and channel locks
Day 4: Same as Day 3, with the addition of working next to John
Day 5: Same as Day 4, with the addition of working next to John and Jason after he's had a huge clove of garlic with his salad
Day 6 (payday!) : Same as Day 5, and your payment is that Jason will put cookies in your pocket and then smash them into minute little crumbs that take all day to empty
Spring registration is coming up so please get your ATM card and PIN ready to hand over to Jason.