A Wookies return.....

Frank

Sasquatch
31/31 is a wrap, I did it and I’m excited about it! Early in the month I was kicking myself for biting off more than I could chew but I was able to power through it. Days when the chemo hits and you just feel like going to bed, but you posted crap on this forum like an asshole and now you gotta put your money where your mouth is. Again, I did it and now tomorrow starts my next month. Cycling has made me feel more alive when everything around me reminds me of my uncertain fate. But the raw deal I’m getting health wise has been balanced by the unbelievable amount of support from my cycling friends old and new. Today I felt a real bond with the guys I rode with that were also completing the challenge…..we hit the hour mark and congratulated each other for a job well done. A few comments were made that it was sad that we didn’t get a bigger group, but for me I got to get to know each of the guys better. I’m very much looking forward to riding with you all again. Thank you @Dusty the Whale, @krink, and @JDurk for a great ride and support through the challenge.
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JDurk

Well-Known Member
31/31 is a wrap, I did it and I’m excited about it! Early in the month I was kicking myself for biting off more than I could chew but I was able to power through it. Days when the chemo hits and you just feel like going to bed, but you posted crap on this forum like an asshole and now you gotta put your money where your mouth is. Again, I did it and now tomorrow starts my next month. Cycling has made me feel more alive when everything around me reminds me of my uncertain fate. But the raw deal I’m getting health wise has been balanced by the unbelievable amount of support from my cycling friends old and new. Today I felt a real bond with the guys I rode with that were also completing the challenge…..we hit the hour mark and congratulated each other for a job well done. A few comments were made that it was sad that we didn’t get a bigger group, but for me I got to get to know each of the guys better. I’m very much looking forward to riding with you all again. Thank you @Dusty the Whale, @krink, and @JDurk for a great ride and support through the challenge.
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Great time riding with you @Frank , @Dusty the Whale and @krink . And all the others that were there today as well. Thanks for poppin' my Allaire cherry. Stealing this picture for my Strava activity.
 

Frank

Sasquatch
When I was in grade school, one of my 8th grade teachers had a sign above the blackboard which read "today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday....now you know why". Well I was worried yesterday and it turns out it was for good reason.....my current maintenance program is not working, my tumor markers are elevating. Now I have some real decisions to make......enjoy my current quality of life and slowly fade away, or try different drugs and suffer nasty side effects. The second option may really side line me and I don't want that. Some of you may be thinking that I'm crazy for even thinking about this, but until you are wearing my size 13's you will not understand and I pray you never have to. The 31 day challenge has been the highlight of my life during the past 2 years, it gave me something to focus on and it wasn't just me. I enjoyed the comradery and improving my fitness. Now I'm facing going backwards again, going through classic chemo side effects, and the possibility of going through more shit only to have it not work either. FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well at least I will ride my ass off until such time as I make a decision. So today a mind unfucking ride is in order.
 

JDurk

Well-Known Member
When I was in grade school, one of my 8th grade teachers had a sign above the blackboard which read "today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday....now you know why". Well I was worried yesterday and it turns out it was for good reason.....my current maintenance program is not working, my tumor markers are elevating. Now I have some real decisions to make......enjoy my current quality of life and slowly fade away, or try different drugs and suffer nasty side effects. The second option may really side line me and I don't want that. Some of you may be thinking that I'm crazy for even thinking about this, but until you are wearing my size 13's you will not understand and I pray you never have to. The 31 day challenge has been the highlight of my life during the past 2 years, it gave me something to focus on and it wasn't just me. I enjoyed the comradery and improving my fitness. Now I'm facing going backwards again, going through classic chemo side effects, and the possibility of going through more shit only to have it not work either. FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well at least I will ride my ass off until such time as I make a decision. So today a mind unfucking ride is in order.
Sorry to hear this. Honestly don't know what to say other than ride your ass off, while keeping your options open. Riding with you yesterday, as well the others in the group, was FUCKING awesome.
 
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krink

Eddie Munster
When I was in grade school, one of my 8th grade teachers had a sign above the blackboard which read "today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday....now you know why". Well I was worried yesterday and it turns out it was for good reason.....my current maintenance program is not working, my tumor markers are elevating. Now I have some real decisions to make......enjoy my current quality of life and slowly fade away, or try different drugs and suffer nasty side effects. The second option may really side line me and I don't want that. Some of you may be thinking that I'm crazy for even thinking about this, but until you are wearing my size 13's you will not understand and I pray you never have to. The 31 day challenge has been the highlight of my life during the past 2 years, it gave me something to focus on and it wasn't just me. I enjoyed the comradery and improving my fitness. Now I'm facing going backwards again, going through classic chemo side effects, and the possibility of going through more shit only to have it not work either. FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well at least I will ride my ass off until such time as I make a decision. So today a mind unfucking ride is in order.
Brother, we support your decision, whichever it is, and we will ride with you.
 

Juggernaut

Master of the Metaphor
The beauty of living in the moment is the moment isn’t wasted. It’s your moment, not theirs. Since no one can live that moment for you, probably best to keep the decisions out of their hands as well. Unlike your 8th grade exams, no matter what box you check…you’re right.
 

rick81721

Lothar
Well finally some good news!! My Permanent Disability was approved and I’ve already had funds added to my account. Now to find out about Medicare before I make any further treatment plans.

Wow that was super fast - congrats! I believe Medicare eligibility starts 2 years from your disability onset date. But perhaps there are special circumstances.
 

Frank

Sasquatch
Well today started out pretty rough. I was eating a late breakfast and had just finished when the Mrs comes into the room and says “get dressed quick, the home called and mom is coding”. At first I was stunned but have been expecting something like this for a while now. So I throw some clothes on and drive like a maniac to the home in hopes that we would be in time for my wife to say goodbye to her mom. When we got there I will admit I thought we were just in time, but as soon as we filled out the DNR she rallied back….it’s like she knew. Lol. So after a while mom was tired and fell into a deep sleep (snoring her brains out) and we went home. The Mrs seemed relieved that we were there and she was at peace with the situation. We went back this evening and mom was lucid, quite alert, and even knew who her daughter was…something she hadn’t known in quite a while. Now I’ve heard of folk rallying like this, only to fail within a day or two it’s like one last deep breath. It sounds horrible, but I hope in her case it is just that. She’s living a miserable existence, granted it could be far, far worse but she has wanted off this bus of life for a while now.
Now all of this happened after I decided that I can no longer participate in DH riding, it’s killing me but I can’t safely ride when my hands and feet are numb. So I decide to put my rig up for sale and what do I do next???? Buy a DH frame from someone on the forum. I though that perhaps if my ride doesn’t sell because it’s a
large, I can swap out parts and make it a medium. I hope I don’t start to feel things for the bike and just hoard another one….whatever. Lol
About an hour ago the Mrs noticed that I hadn’t ridden today and demanded I ride so I grab the roadie and lights and loop the hood…so glad I did that as bikes have a way of making most everything ok. Now I need to really focus on getting better, I don’t want my wife to lose two people in a year.
 

Patrick

Overthinking the draft from the basement already
Staff member
Just a quick story - i was with my Dad for two months at the end of his 10 yr battle with C. He told me he was ready, but i was there every day (cause i was living there)
He flat out told me he wondered why he was still around. Mind over body. Told him i was going back to NJ for a couple days, and he
didn't need to wait for me to get back. He didn't. He needed to know his kids would be ok. His wife would be ok. He wasn't hanging around for himself.
Maybe let Mom know it's ok in some subtle way?

OTOH, You got a little more tread on the tire....see what i did there?
 

pooriggy

Well-Known Member
Team MTBNJ Halter's
It’s so fucking cool when you love to do certain shit and others love it too! Tonight I got to work with @pooriggy, @Matt, @Hair Face, and @Purl on a reroute at Clayton. These guys worked their butts off and loved it, they also enjoyed riding the fruits of their labor. Made me very happy to try and keep up with these guys….I will sleep good tonight!
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Great work tonight! Making better lines with friends.
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Frank

Sasquatch
Well Monday starts a new protocol for me. 2 new drugs and back to a full Monday along with my traveler from Monday evening until Wednesday afternoon. It was interesting to find out how my wife and oncologist negotiated with each other over the drugs I would take. One of these drugs showed some bad side effects, but the doc feels it won’t bother me because I’m not real elderly, not fat, and I’m pretty active for a cancer patient. I just hope it doesn’t interfere with my riding or my social activities ( trail work) but only time will tell. Last Monday I told the doc I would try the one drug and he warned me of diarrhea being a normal side effect, but considering I’m back on long and short term anti-nausea meds which constipate me, I may be “normal”. The doc also ensured the wife that I would be closely monitored considering my history with new drugs….I just hope that one time was a fluke because I was very weak at the time. Considering I couldn’t walk very far and now I’m riding all the time, I think I will survive this part. Now I pray that this kicks ass so I can get back to traveling a bit to ride at different parks and I’m looking forward to skiing this winter. I have plans but will take it one step at a time.
 

Mitch

Well-Known Member
Team MTBNJ Halter's
Well Monday starts a new protocol for me. 2 new drugs and back to a full Monday along with my traveler from Monday evening until Wednesday afternoon. It was interesting to find out how my wife and oncologist negotiated with each other over the drugs I would take. One of these drugs showed some bad side effects, but the doc feels it won’t bother me because I’m not real elderly, not fat, and I’m pretty active for a cancer patient. I just hope it doesn’t interfere with my riding or my social activities ( trail work) but only time will tell. Last Monday I told the doc I would try the one drug and he warned me of diarrhea being a normal side effect, but considering I’m back on long and short term anti-nausea meds which constipate me, I may be “normal”. The doc also ensured the wife that I would be closely monitored considering my history with new drugs….I just hope that one time was a fluke because I was very weak at the time. Considering I couldn’t walk very far and now I’m riding all the time, I think I will survive this part. Now I pray that this kicks ass so I can get back to traveling a bit to ride at different parks and I’m looking forward to skiing this winter. I have plans but will take it one step at a time.
Good luck. You got this.
 

Frank

Sasquatch
Today marks the start of yet another adventure. Started yet another protocol today with a new list of meds, can’t believe there are so many….steroids, 2 anti-nausea meds, and chemo
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But I do feel well cared for, got a selfie with one of my Hero’s Kevin who is one of the 2 that brought me back to life almost 2 years ago! The lab folk are a special breed, they are so caring. All nurses are hero’s imho because they deal with so much grief and seeing people in pain. I would never have been able to deal with that.
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Frank

Sasquatch
Well I certainly feel a difference between the Folfox and Folfury. Luckily the nasty side effects have not hit me, but boy am I tired. I feel like I rode a century yesterday and have nothing left to give. I started to feel a little light headed during my hood loops so I shortened my ride. Hopefully the next new drug Avastin, will not have the same effect or I may be sleeping 18hrs a day lol.
I’m annoyed at myself for hitting the end of my riding streak, I was doing so well but need to take it easy on myself because of the new meds. However, I am super stoked to see @Kaleidopete and @xtrpureguts keeping it going!!! I will be cheering these gents on and hope to reset my counter soon.
 
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