holiday stress

stb222

Love Drunk
Jerk Squad
So over the past few weeks my wife has been getting super stressed about the getting ready for the holidays/going to holiday events and such. While this is expected, I noticed that this year, she is easily twice as stressed as I remember from previous years. I am sure our 2 year old is contributing to this but it obviously affecting the overall vibe in the house as a whole. I have tried the avoidence technique and most of us know how that one turns out. I have been trying to help as much as possible but she wants to do everything herself.

Any advice for me not to end up like john bobbit by new years?
 
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J-Dro

Well-Known Member
So over the past few weeks my wife has been getting super stressed about the getting ready for the holidays/going to holiday events and such. While this is expected, I noticed that this year, she is easily twice as stressed as I remember from previous years. I am sure our 2 year old is contributing to this but it obviously affecting the overall vibe in the house as a whole. I have tried the avoidence technique and most of use know how that one turns out. I have been trying to help as much as possible but she wants to do everything herself.

Any advice for me not to end up like john bobbit by new years?

Buy yourself a new bike. That should distract her.:D
 

The Kalmyk

Well-Known Member
Be more hands on than ever and get things done before she has to ask...If she has to ask it's one more things she has to worry about...Even the small things add to the stress
 

stb222

Love Drunk
Jerk Squad
Be more hands on than ever and get things done before she has to ask...If she has to ask it's one more things she has to worry about...Even the small things add to the stress

good point, yesterday I flubbed one of the toys for the kid (picked up the wrong one that was on limited supply) and the day just went downhill from there...
 

jShort

2018 Fantasy Football Toilet Bowl Lead Technician
Team MTBNJ Halter's
two words to describe how I get my wife through the holidays... (keep in mind we dont have kids....)

cabernet sauvignon
 

THATmanMANNY

Well-Known Member
Im not married but if u've known me for the past 7 years you would say that I am haha

I will def. reccomend cutting back on holiday tasks to make holidays less complicated for next year. Like cutting some ppl from that gift list, down tone the decorations, etc. It really is about being jolly for about a month and appreciating what you have and the gathering of peoples.
 

TonyC

Active Member
I have been trying to help as much as possible but she wants to do everything herself.

I have one of those wives, also. She needs to be in control so I let her get all stressed out. ;) She's a "stay at home" Mom and still can't get the Christmas list finished. Dare I ask what she does all day..Heck no! I'm not stupid.
I hear it almost every night on who she still needs to get gifts for.. etc..

good luck, It's only 2 more weeks.
 

Norm

Mayor McCheese
Team MTBNJ Halter's
Suck it up until the holidays are over - it's only a week+. There's no answer. "I'm going biking" can sometimes translate to, "You married SATAN."

The only piece of advice I would suggest is: Remain calm, always.
 

MEAN IRISH GUY

Horse-faced space dog
i hear you on the stressing. i work for the ups store. its INSANE there from open to close. cant wait till this shit is over.
 

ellenserruto

New Member
I'm a maniac and no one can help me. . There is no time for mistakes so I tend not to delegate & he backs off. Next I'm swamped & resentful. Every year its the same old story. I do get a pass for meltdowns and other irrational behavior all month long however!
 

MST.ESQ

New Member
In a grand effort to relieve holiday stress once and for all, I made an announcement over Thanksgiving dinner to the family (both mine and the in-laws) that everyone 18 and over is being cut-off from exchanging gifts and that I will no longer run around like a maniac trying to please everyone just for the sake of it.

Surprisingly, IT DID NOT WORK! :mad:

It got so bad in my family that my brother-in-law not only e-mails a wish list to everyone - he has progressed to the point of suggesting who should purchase which item! Then he went out to buy me something anyway and called to let me know that he ignored my wishes. I can't wait to see the look on their faces when I refuse to open it or reciprocate.

You can call me a heartless scrooge, but the holidays (the commercial non-religious part of it anyway) is for the kids, period. I spent two nights shopping for my two boys and their cousins (and of course mom is getting her Ipod). Done! This year we are opening presents at home and sitting around in our pajamas all day playing with the kids' new toys... I just hope my wife is talking to me again by then.
 

stb222

Love Drunk
Jerk Squad
we cut out gifts for my bro and sis a few years back and just buy for the kid. not only does it get too expensive but we would end up getting crap gifts when my wife would but a lot of thought into there gifts.
 

BiknBen

Well-Known Member
My wife tends to overstress for the Holidays. We do Christmas Day at our house. My Mom In-Law stays for a week. My Parents and Bro's family come for the day (about eights guests in adition to my family of four). My wife would stress about all the cooking and scheduling enough that she was a wreck all day.

It looked to be more of the same for this year. When my wife began to imply that we not host, I put my foot down. I insisted that we host without all the panic and stress. I plan to be the chef. You may get Chicken instead of tenderloin but it will be unique and tasty anyway. If you don't like it...don't come back next year. :D
 

Cyclopath

Shop Owner / Employee
Shop Keep
Our holiday used to involve Mom+Dad, 6 adult offspring, 4 spouses, 6 kids and 4-5 dogs. All fun, but way too much in excess. I really despise the 'buying for the sake of buying' mindset that has left me with hundreds and hundreds of dollars worth of things we will never use, wear, fit in and/or never manage to return before the deadline.

A couple years back we decided to change it up. We continue to buy for the kids, but on Thanksgiving weekend we each pull one adult name out of a hat and buy a gift for that person. We wrap an additional grab-bag, gag or re-gift item for a game. When the evening winds down, dinner is done and the kids are like rag dolls in front of the TV, we pass around adult beverages and do the 'mad card game grab bag swap'. It's a blast. There's always the item that everybody wants and the item that nobody wants which gets passed back and forth amid a ton of laughter. It's just a great time.

So we've cut the insanity for the adults but still have each adult or family buying for each of the kids and their respective dogs. I would much rather the in-laws pack 50 bucks in a savings account for the kids than to have a $50 sweater they're guaranteed to trash the first time out or refuse to wear after the second washing. They have all the things they need now, but I can't guarantee we'll have the money they'll need later on. Nobody else sees it my way. Oh, well.

My point, you might find a good compromise in your holiday. If you can't, cash or gift cards might seem impersonal, but IMHO, they're better than wasting money on something that won't get used and will be 75% off next week anyway.

Personally, I'd like cash or a gift card just fine...
pm me for mailing instructions.:D
 

pooriggy

Well-Known Member
Team MTBNJ Halter's
My wife tends to overstress for the Holidays. We do Christmas Day at our house. My Mom In-Law stays for a week. My Parents and Bro's family come for the day (about eights guests in adition to my family of four). My wife would stress about all the cooking and scheduling enough that she was a wreck all day.

It looked to be more of the same for this year. When my wife began to imply that we not host, I put my foot down. I insisted that we host without all the panic and stress. I plan to be the chef. You may get Chicken instead of tenderloin but it will be unique and tasty anyway. If you don't like it...don't come back next year. :D

I've got a very similar situation in my house. All my family and all wifes family comes over for Christmas, about 13 people. We have it down to a science, I do all the cooking and my wife does all the stressing.:D
 
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