Tips For Selling

Discussion in 'Bikes for sale' started by pooriggy, Nov 30, 2009.

  1. FFT

    FFT Gay & Stuffy

    Location:
    Pt Pleasant
  2. mattybfat

    mattybfat The White Shadow Team MTBNJ Halter's

    Pearl your so right gold, and a shameless plug for an awesome SS...
     
  3. FFT

    FFT Gay & Stuffy

    Location:
    Pt Pleasant
    How much is it worth?

    Well folks, it's bike sellin season round here and if your not sure what your dust collector is worth just throw a "feeler" out there, or as I like to call it, reverse window shopping. Reverse window shopping is a great way to see if you've got something that everyone wants, but you probably don't. Under ideal conditions a Reverse window shopper will expect to see at least three zeros behind the 'bid' or forecasted price, problem is, that if your dusty pile of shit is so old (older than a month) that you don't know it's actual value, then it ain't worth shit - except to you.

    Never the less, you come here to ask the big question, what would one pay? Most of us, in all seriousness, will offer half of what we think it's worth. Why you may ask, simply.....we don't ride bikes with eight year old technology, I mean, even my dogs collar updates itself though the cloud, but your bikes parts are out dated, just like painters caps and knee socks. Luckily, we understand your frustration, the wife won't let you get that n+1, without n-1, and your bummed. No biggie, we will poke fun at you and joke with each other. We do this as a form of moral support, kinda like a thread funeral, where we just stand around and make small talk while you grieve ofer the bad news that nobody wants your heap. Good luck, tell the wife we said hi.
     
    thegock likes this.
  4. fidodie

    fidodie Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Location:
    Branchburg
    That was a fun read - Let's also add some meat.

    Go to ebay and search completed items. Price, number of bidders, and compare to your ride. There is always nostalgic value (that was my first real ride...)

    No doubt the spouse has already done this, in case an unapproved n+1 is spotted,
     
  5. FFT

    FFT Gay & Stuffy

    Location:
    Pt Pleasant
    The balance sheet........

    Yup, it's fvcking pumpkin pickin season and the 4rth quarter is upon us. Still got the heap of shit sitting in the basement collecting dust? Yes sir you do, and to top it off, the wife wants it gone. She's been keeping the books since you lost that bet on the 89 Super Bowl and the bike has to go. You haven't depreciated the value of it to meet the market place and you don't have the balls to tell her.

    Little miss balance sheet has your road bike valued at $3k but it isn't worth half that. Your pushing for a new leaf blower, but it's not 'in the budget' at this time, that is unless you can sell something, specifically the bike you begged her for after your last bonus. Add insult to injury, she's going out the door in a pair of $1000 Louboutin shoes on Friday night and comes home reeking of teqelia and has her shirt on backwards, but fvck it, a couple hours with the kids and a pizza was easily a fair trade.

    Let's make an approach, the 'I'm trying to sell it' gig usually works. Rather than cut and paste some similar bike that's currently for sale, just copy your own work from a few years ago. Don't change a thing either, because deep down inside you don't want to sell. This dust collector is your only true attachment to the cycling comunity. If the bike sells, and you get the leaf blower, well it's over, life that is.

    Like any good accountant, you may continue to tell the wife that the $4k bike is worth $3k, and continue the monthly trips to the bike shop to drop it for 'maintenence', but we know, that is really the only excuse you have to get out of the house. We miss you friend, hang in there, smile, and keep the damm bike.
     
    thegock and jnos like this.
  6. mandi

    mandi Well-Known Member

    Location:
    Charlotte, NC
    FFT, you have a way with words. Gold
     
  7. pearl

    pearl THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING Team MTBNJ Halter's

    Is he on the payroll? Holy shit
     
  8. soulchild

    soulchild Well-Known Member Team MTBNJ Halter's

    Location:
    Metuchen
  9. fidodie

    fidodie Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Location:
    Branchburg
    In your Dreams:
    [​IMG]

    in Reality
    [​IMG]
     
  10. Johnny Utah

    Johnny Utah Well-Known Member

    Perfection, literary perfection. A true Edgar Allen Poe of our forum.
     
  11. Carson

    Carson Sport Bacon Team MTBNJ Halter's

    Location:
    Readington, NJ
    Shirt on backwards. In love.
     
  12. FFT

    FFT Gay & Stuffy

    Location:
    Pt Pleasant
    Words can really describe the latest sales pitch Ive been working on. I almost feel like Walter White stripped down to tighty whities while abandoned in the desert, Im so confused on how to get this down on 'paper'. So here goes.........
    [​IMG]

    You own the biggest mistake, the biggest bike company, ever produced and brought to market. A super slack boat anchor that sits on a tiny little wheel that you cant even get tires for anymore. It fell on its face the very moment it came to market, it was not a "Big Hit" by any means. But heck, lets tinker around with it for a bit and see what happens. Easiest way to make that pig climb better it to increase the head tube angle a bit, like 20 degrees. After prying and pulling, smashing with hammers, a dozen bandaids and a 2x4, you got that pesky 26" wheel in that little triangle. Two hours with a razor knife and you've shaved off all those little side treads and even saved a few grams. Then, remove the 8" fork and toss on a sixer, steepening the HTA a bit more, as close to 90 degrees as possible. Looks good right? Wrong! Looks like the biggest fuck up, the second biggest bike maker ever made, the ever so unpopular Y11 from Trek. No big deal, lets get this abortion down under say 40lbs, were gonna ride it cross county after all.

    The eight inches of travel and 90 degree head tube angle should make this can opener pedal like a wet dream. There is no single way to build leg muscles like riding the wrong bike, uphill, bobbing like Jenna Jameson on Blackzilla. Yup, blackzilla...and you will be equally as sore afterwards. Upon reaching the top on this analizer of a rig you can now point this beauty downhill, kinda. You see when you change the geometry of a bike it can no longer perform as it was designed, and death becomes an imminent concern. Luckily, your smart enough to put a slick up front on this xc, fr, dh, beast. Now dont get going to fast, because there is no front brake.

    We all know what happens when you get a 40lb heap of mix matched parts flying down a steep hill, right? The crank arm falls of and gets stuck in the spokes, the rear wheel binds up in the frame because it was never designed to go there, and you get catapulted into poison ivy, but no big deal. This bike comes equipped with tools for trailside repairs, lots of them. After pissing on your own leg to calm the burn from the poison ivy and repairing the bike with a leathermen your ready to ride out. Whose got lights? You do, because they came as an extra incentive at the time of purchase. YES!! Finally, something has gone right with this bike.

    Now for the question that everyone has been waiting for. "Are you fucking kidding me".
     
    thegock, SpartaBard, walter and 7 others like this.
  13. tonyride

    tonyride Don't piss off the red guy

    Location:
    Piscataway, NJ
    Sold. Shut up and take my money.
     
    walter likes this.
  14. soundz

    soundz The Hat Team MTBNJ Halter's

    Location:
    Fort Lee?
    http://www.bennetts.co.uk/motorbike-insurance/biking-tips/selling-your-bike/
     

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