Tips For Selling

clarkenstein

JORBA Money Launderer
JORBA.ORG
#43
yo this place is as drama filled as mtbr...i'm having a lame time here lately
hope i dont get banned 2
put 250+ people in a room on a daily basis and you're bound to have at least one argument break out every once in a while.

and to stay on some form of a topic: screw the sale posting rules altogether and just scrub posts that appear to be spammy every once in a while. but i will admit it is entertaining to see someone go through the effort of bolstering their post count and go through what most go through when they start trying to get around the rule, like they are the first person to think of it.
 

Norm

Mayor McCheese
Team MTBNJ Halter's
#44
yo this place is as drama filled as mtbr...i'm having a lame time here lately
hope i dont get banned 2
I see what you're thinking but now it's just a running gag. I'm trying to save the guy from flaming out and just have fun with it. The M-F stuff is really a way for us all to entertain each other while we sit in the box factory slapping cardboard together. Looking out the window provides me with only cement buildings.

and to stay on some form of a topic: screw the sale posting rules altogether and just scrub posts that appear to be spammy every once in a while. but i will admit it is entertaining to see someone go through the effort of bolstering their post count and go through what most go through when they start trying to get around the rule, like they are the first person to think of it.
I'm fine with this. I'm sick of the annoyance of the 30-Runner each time. I don't remember who voted what/when/where/why but this is a pain to me anymore.

Anyone who has ever asked me in PM to sell something has gotten a reply of yes. I guess that begs the question of the 30 Rule entirely. We'll discuss internally and get back to you. In the mean time - firing...assholes, etc etc.
 

FFT

Gay & Stuffy
#50
Tips for selling..

In light of the recent lift of the 30 post rule I figure I would offer some tips on unloading a bike. There are several methods, and no offense to those who have these named after them.

The yard sale: you drive around on the weekend just to avoid spending time with your wife. You can't resist a 50 dollar hunk of shit and buy everyone you see. After loading it into your Subaru you head home, unload it, and lube the chain. You will have no problem getting 300 here. We're all dumb and love a good laugh.


The rust bucket: normally purchased 10 years ago at an above retail special price. Can have components that you will never find parts for, or was such a giant piece of garbage that the bike was only produced for a year or two. We start high, like a thousand bucks. Then bump it three times a day, and have a friend comment on what great care you took with the bike. A mid week threat that it's off the CL won't hurt. There's an a-hole for every seat, so be patient.

The upgrade: upgraditius caught you and you dumped 3k into a 2k bike. Carbon, no tubes, air fork, dropper, color coded wire crimps and cables and a custom license plate from the back of a honey combs box, ect...your a moron, but don't worry it will sell. Tons of pictures, high Rez magazine quality pictures, and list what the upgrades cost new. List bike shop prices only because not everyone knows about the evil Internet. List this Xmas present for $2900

Last years rode twice - fire sale: cycling not your cup of tea? No problem, sign up here and waste our time by telling us how much your barley ridden bike sold for last year. We all get a generous discount from the lbs and probably bought the same bike brand new for a hundred less than your bail out price. We can help, just make up some unimaginable excuse, like sickle cell anemia or something. Also list how much the rest of the suckers on the net are getting. That makes us look stupider than we really are and that's fun.

Clown shooze: Ok so you bought the next big thing and have riden your 1st fat bike. After hitting the rescue inhaler 19 times in the parking lot you realize that you are fatter than your fat bike and will need to unload this ungodly awefulling looking piece of horse shit. Problem is, they didnt catch on like the now popular '29'. Not a problem here at MTBNJ. We love niche markets. The member here buy and sell 26/29/650B/fixie/flip flop/20"/stereo equipement/vhs/lawn mowers/horse tranquilizers/and tandems all the time. Winter mittens included in the sale will always turn an eye to your add. If this dont work, then jew yourself down (can we say that? Prob not) to a point where you pay someone to come pick it up. This technique of bargain basement pricing is called the 'bullshitter'.

The dripping with attitude - feeler - no low ball ...aka the 'hat trick':
Your a yuppie and a damm good one at that. Last year you spent your 1st quarter bonus on a carbon 21lb dream bike and some spandex, gu, a tribal arm henna tattoo and some anti monkey butt ass cream. Your a fucking cubical badass and tell all the dickwads at the water cooler how badass your weekend was and have scars to prove it. Problem is that keeping up with golf, the kids soccer, cutting the lawn so it looks like Yankee stadium and stalking the vegan Cashier at starbucks leaves no room for riding. No biggie, we know your a badass and mean business because your selling a 10 month old 7k dollar bike with zero miles on it. How much is it worth you ask? Well, if we could calculate 'go fvck yourself' into a number we would, but not even the urban dictionary does math like that. So we low ball you, not because we like your bike, but because we Hate you, mostly as a result of jealously, but mainly because when you cut us off on the road because your talking to your kids therapist on the cell and try to pass the 'oh jeez didn't see you half ass wave' as an apology. Carbon freezes in the rain anyways.
.....next up is the 'n+1 sale.....
 
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mattybfat

The White Shadow
Team MTBNJ Halter's
#53
No you cant use that unless you are one and toss insults for a living which imply to every race creed or religion.
But for you carry on ;-p

You need to come up with the wife figured out that i have more bikes then she realized. So its got to go.
 

FFT

Gay & Stuffy
#58
The "I bought this POS CX and it pinches my balls worse than an inexperienced 14 yo."

That's right folks. You went out and tried to punish yourself into liking CX but find there is nothing on this earth more unenjoyable than murdering your own face at CX practice. Not a problem here at MTBNJ. Just take the misfit cycle approach (not to be confused with the ever so popular brand that nobody has ever heard of). Its a 54cm, but you need a 55cm, the seat has mashed your prostate into green jello that not even the near dead at the retirement community will eat. Simple math here- Price you paid plus $100 or just try to bamboozle someone on CL, and charge twice what you paid. If this don't work, add the cost of the upgrades that some smug bike mechanic guilted you into buying and double that # to compensate yourself for all the time and gas you spent to upgrade a perfectly speced stock bike. Good luck, you will need it. But hey, fvck it its Friday.
 

pearl

THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING
Team MTBNJ Halter's
#59
The "I bought this POS CX and it pinches my balls worse than an inexperienced 14 yo."

That's right folks. You went out and tried to punish yourself into liking CX but find there is nothing on this earth more unenjoyable than murdering your own face at CX practice. Not a problem here at MTBNJ. Just take the misfit cycle approach (not to be confused with the ever so popular brand that nobody has ever heard of). Its a 54cm, but you need a 55cm, the seat has mashed your prostate into green jello that not even the near dead at the retirement community will eat. Simple math here- Price you paid plus $100 or just try to bamboozle someone on CL, and charge twice what you paid. If this don't work, add the cost of the upgrades that some smug bike mechanic guilted you into buying and double that # to compensate yourself for all the time and gas you spent to upgrade a perfectly speced stock bike. Good luck, you will need it. But hey, fvck it its Friday.
MTBNJ gold