The Heckle Report
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The Heckler
You bring new meaning to the term SUCK
Marty Cross - Races 17 & 18
This weekend was pretty unreal for me. Spoiler alert I won both days. I'm very thrilled about this accomplishment, thank you everyone that cheered and heckled me along the climbs!
SATURDAY
I must have done 5-6 pre-ride laps. I was fixing course tape where down but adding this to my ride on Wednesday thats 10-12 laps under my belt before even racing.
I lined up second row, terrible sprint and fortune put me in ~15th or so. I rode out the first downhill and began making moves on the climb back up and over the barriers. I made my way to third wheel just before the first steep climb. I passed Pearl when he detonated his chain.
He was up in the mixes.
I've become much more confident with my passing. I have really been able to work my way through traffic in recent races.
First place had about 5 bike lengths ahead but the race was young and I didn't feel the need to do anything about that. I think I took second wheel up the long switch back climb.
I didn't connect with the leader until maybe the 3rd time over the line but I decided to put in a little effort and test the waters over the climbs. I ended up with a 5 second gap or so. People were yelling not to let Steven Spiller connect. The kid is young, and he's fast. I maintained my lead.
I needed to race clean, stay upright and keep my tires full of air as well as on the rim. I don't know what the gap was at the finish but I know I was alone over the line. My bike held up and I didn't do anything too stupid. I kept my hands on the bars and just had the biggest smile across my face. This was my first ever CX win.
Furthermore, Saturday marked my first ever time on top of a Marty's Reliable podium. This is something that has alluded me through 4 Lewis Morris Challenges and two Marty Crosses.
The rest of the day was SUPER FUN! Lou brought his Megaphone and let me use it! Boy was that a mistake. It took me a while to get past my stage fright but I started to figure out my new platform soon enough.
I was also excited to see Utah and meet his son Utah Jr. or Mini Utah? Maybe Utah Redux? We have time to figure out his forum name.
This weekend was pretty unreal for me. Spoiler alert I won both days. I'm very thrilled about this accomplishment, thank you everyone that cheered and heckled me along the climbs!
SATURDAY
I must have done 5-6 pre-ride laps. I was fixing course tape where down but adding this to my ride on Wednesday thats 10-12 laps under my belt before even racing.
I lined up second row, terrible sprint and fortune put me in ~15th or so. I rode out the first downhill and began making moves on the climb back up and over the barriers. I made my way to third wheel just before the first steep climb. I passed Pearl when he detonated his chain.
He was up in the mixes. I've become much more confident with my passing. I have really been able to work my way through traffic in recent races.
First place had about 5 bike lengths ahead but the race was young and I didn't feel the need to do anything about that. I think I took second wheel up the long switch back climb.
I didn't connect with the leader until maybe the 3rd time over the line but I decided to put in a little effort and test the waters over the climbs. I ended up with a 5 second gap or so. People were yelling not to let Steven Spiller connect. The kid is young, and he's fast. I maintained my lead.
I needed to race clean, stay upright and keep my tires full of air as well as on the rim. I don't know what the gap was at the finish but I know I was alone over the line. My bike held up and I didn't do anything too stupid. I kept my hands on the bars and just had the biggest smile across my face. This was my first ever CX win.
Furthermore, Saturday marked my first ever time on top of a Marty's Reliable podium. This is something that has alluded me through 4 Lewis Morris Challenges and two Marty Crosses.
The rest of the day was SUPER FUN! Lou brought his Megaphone and let me use it! Boy was that a mistake. It took me a while to get past my stage fright but I started to figure out my new platform soon enough.
I was also excited to see Utah and meet his son Utah Jr. or Mini Utah? Maybe Utah Redux? We have time to figure out his forum name.
Mountain Bike Mike
Well-Known Member
Congrats Sir - Well Deserved! I wish I was there to see it.
Mountain Bike Mike
Well-Known Member
Maybe major ball fro to compensate for lack of face hair?
SpartaBard
Well-Known Member
That guy is like 17 years old.
jackx
Well-Known Member
Congratulations, Matt on your sweep/wins!
It was nice to meet you on Saturday and you see you heckle the Cat C riders going down and up the off-camber switchbacks, and offering the riders mallomar hand-ups to keep their strength up.
Not having previously experienced heckling at a race, I was impressed that The Heckler was using a megaphone. The spectators seemed to enjoy it as much as the riders.
It was nice to meet you on Saturday and you see you heckle the Cat C riders going down and up the off-camber switchbacks, and offering the riders mallomar hand-ups to keep their strength up.
Not having previously experienced heckling at a race, I was impressed that The Heckler was using a megaphone. The spectators seemed to enjoy it as much as the riders.
Great job with the back to back wins Matt. That's outstanding.
The megaphone was a nice touch, it really added another dimension to the heckling. Should we expect more of that in the future?
The megaphone was a nice touch, it really added another dimension to the heckling. Should we expect more of that in the future?
The Heckler
You bring new meaning to the term SUCK
Mountain Bike Mike
Well-Known Member
I may be able to donate one.. Let me ask my Sister in law to see if she still has the one I bought her son for X-mas a few years ago.
Last edited:
Mountain Bike Mike
Well-Known Member
I may be able to donate one.. Let me ask my Sister in law to see if she still has the one I bought her son for X-mas a few years ago.
No dice - apparently "it broke" five years ago... or one could say, my sister in law is mean and took it away and threw it out. Poor kid!
The Heckler
You bring new meaning to the term SUCK
Cold move!
Thanks for checking for me! I had no idea they actually go for only 40 bucks.
Maybe if I have a little money at the end of the month.
The Heckler
You bring new meaning to the term SUCK
SUNDAY
Showed up about the same time on Sunday. It was windy as hell but the sun was shining.
I lined up second row again I had a much better sprint Sunday and went down the hill in maybe 5th or 7th or so. I was joking about slowing down the front so we could do less laps as I THOUGHT we had all agreed on at the start. (LOLZIES) I was right behind Matt Bruno at the bottom of the hill.
Matt beat me last year at Marty Cross in the C field and also finished two spots ahead of me at HPCX this year. He also didn't race the day before and was my largest concern in the field. Spiller was again in the mixes, Pearl and Pino were close by as well as a few of the usual suspects.
That last corner at the Bottom Bruno cooked and went into the tape. I came in and he was standing up getting moving again right in the exit line. I gave a "RIGHTRIGHTRIGHT" shout out and missed hitting him by inches.
I'm not sure how early it happened but Spiller, Bruno and I rode off the front and began putting a gap on 4th.
Honestly, I didn't feel like I was racing. Bruno and I switched off every so often and when asked if he wanted a go Spiller replied "I'm a crummy draft." I busted his chops and said he must be going for the win today.
With the fans heckling me "where is the gap" every lap I could only laugh. I had Jesse from Marty's telling me to stay off the front and wait. I liked this advice, I gave a pretty hard effort the day before. The last thing I wanted to do was attack early and BONK.
I was giving little attacks over the barriers on a few laps until the finish line. I actually felt really good and was able to open small gaps. We would then descend, recover and regroup more or less at the bottom. Made things more interesting. With 1-1/2 to go Spiller passed me before the steep downhill and went in hot. I followed his speed in which was FAST! He skidded and recovered on the off-camber and I skidded and aimed down hill. I stretched out the tape and got tangled. By the time I was back on my bike the gap extended all the way to the corner around the woods. This was about 9 seconds by Jesse's count.
The pleasure ride was over and I went into full on chase mode. I still had some time over 4th. I wasn't concerned about him. I was mostly just angry about my dumb mistake and wanted a chance to redeem myself. The worst I would get would be physical punishment for a stupid mistake.
In the back section I heckled Spiller lightly with a chuckle while gasping for air.
Sprint Sprint Sprint up the off camber switchbacks, over the barriers, over the line, down the hill, over the single barrier, up the hill. I think I cut their lead in half by then. Down the hill again (where I messed up the previous lap) and power power power on the flat. I gain more ground in the back section. We approach the switch back climb and I am almost back on the train. After the second switch we are all together again. My heart is red-lined and my legs are screaming!
Spiller and Bruno are both right on the steepest leg of the climb. They stand but no one attacks! I cut left and sprint up the inside! I hear someone yell "FIRST ONE TO THE TOP IS THE WINNER!" The inside door was wide open and I took it with Spiller grabbing my wheel. I motor down the hill and take the corners quick but smart.
I didn't even think about touching the brakes before the barriers. Nice and clean mount and I stand for the final climb. I have no idea how much I had on Spiller but I beat him to the line with a "Same time" recorded by the officials.
This one hurt. The day before I was all smiles, Sunday I felt like I was hit by a wrecking ball.
BUT
I made a crazy comeback after a dumb mistake and bridged a seemingly impossible gap. Very proud about that one, much more then Saturday.
I had originally planned to go into the city for a concert but after some intercommunication with my GF and some re-assessment of what a 1:00AM night would be like I decided to cover the $40 of tickets with my podium money. (this was a great decision.)
I stuck around for the rest of the races and had a great time trying brick and large rock hand-ups. Also holding the brick while quoting Brick of Anchorman while riders passed may have been my real achievement of the day.
The course tore much faster then last year thanks to some great volunteer/promoter work and we were awarded with a pretty spectacular golden hour. The fall light was simply spectacular especially landing on the golden orange trees.
Post clean up and my attack hill in red:
Riding around in the NJBA truck bed with my buddies finishing clean up:
Next up, CSI in Northampton, MA.
Showed up about the same time on Sunday. It was windy as hell but the sun was shining.
I lined up second row again I had a much better sprint Sunday and went down the hill in maybe 5th or 7th or so. I was joking about slowing down the front so we could do less laps as I THOUGHT we had all agreed on at the start. (LOLZIES) I was right behind Matt Bruno at the bottom of the hill.
Matt beat me last year at Marty Cross in the C field and also finished two spots ahead of me at HPCX this year. He also didn't race the day before and was my largest concern in the field. Spiller was again in the mixes, Pearl and Pino were close by as well as a few of the usual suspects.
That last corner at the Bottom Bruno cooked and went into the tape. I came in and he was standing up getting moving again right in the exit line. I gave a "RIGHTRIGHTRIGHT" shout out and missed hitting him by inches.
I'm not sure how early it happened but Spiller, Bruno and I rode off the front and began putting a gap on 4th.
Honestly, I didn't feel like I was racing. Bruno and I switched off every so often and when asked if he wanted a go Spiller replied "I'm a crummy draft." I busted his chops and said he must be going for the win today.
With the fans heckling me "where is the gap" every lap I could only laugh. I had Jesse from Marty's telling me to stay off the front and wait. I liked this advice, I gave a pretty hard effort the day before. The last thing I wanted to do was attack early and BONK.
I was giving little attacks over the barriers on a few laps until the finish line. I actually felt really good and was able to open small gaps. We would then descend, recover and regroup more or less at the bottom. Made things more interesting. With 1-1/2 to go Spiller passed me before the steep downhill and went in hot. I followed his speed in which was FAST! He skidded and recovered on the off-camber and I skidded and aimed down hill. I stretched out the tape and got tangled. By the time I was back on my bike the gap extended all the way to the corner around the woods. This was about 9 seconds by Jesse's count.
The pleasure ride was over and I went into full on chase mode. I still had some time over 4th. I wasn't concerned about him. I was mostly just angry about my dumb mistake and wanted a chance to redeem myself. The worst I would get would be physical punishment for a stupid mistake.
In the back section I heckled Spiller lightly with a chuckle while gasping for air.
Sprint Sprint Sprint up the off camber switchbacks, over the barriers, over the line, down the hill, over the single barrier, up the hill. I think I cut their lead in half by then. Down the hill again (where I messed up the previous lap) and power power power on the flat. I gain more ground in the back section. We approach the switch back climb and I am almost back on the train. After the second switch we are all together again. My heart is red-lined and my legs are screaming!
Spiller and Bruno are both right on the steepest leg of the climb. They stand but no one attacks! I cut left and sprint up the inside! I hear someone yell "FIRST ONE TO THE TOP IS THE WINNER!" The inside door was wide open and I took it with Spiller grabbing my wheel. I motor down the hill and take the corners quick but smart.
I didn't even think about touching the brakes before the barriers. Nice and clean mount and I stand for the final climb. I have no idea how much I had on Spiller but I beat him to the line with a "Same time" recorded by the officials.
This one hurt. The day before I was all smiles, Sunday I felt like I was hit by a wrecking ball.
BUT
I made a crazy comeback after a dumb mistake and bridged a seemingly impossible gap. Very proud about that one, much more then Saturday.
I had originally planned to go into the city for a concert but after some intercommunication with my GF and some re-assessment of what a 1:00AM night would be like I decided to cover the $40 of tickets with my podium money. (this was a great decision.)
I stuck around for the rest of the races and had a great time trying brick and large rock hand-ups. Also holding the brick while quoting Brick of Anchorman while riders passed may have been my real achievement of the day.
The course tore much faster then last year thanks to some great volunteer/promoter work and we were awarded with a pretty spectacular golden hour. The fall light was simply spectacular especially landing on the golden orange trees.
Post clean up and my attack hill in red:
Riding around in the NJBA truck bed with my buddies finishing clean up:
Next up, CSI in Northampton, MA.
The Heckler
You bring new meaning to the term SUCK
BEARD REPORT
"Full Muppet"
-Norm
"Full Muppet"
-Norm
The Heckler
You bring new meaning to the term SUCK
Cat 3
