The Heckle Report

The Heckler

You bring new meaning to the term SUCK
Who is the dude in the Capsule kit? He looks like every 4th person that lives in Philly.

Love you Matt, but you resemble a Muppet more and more each week.

I'm going to take that as a compliment.

I really hope go pro footage of Keith surfaces.
 

The Heckler

You bring new meaning to the term SUCK
Found this one on the internet machine. This was the Masters 45+ race at Providence and I'm sad because of a 100+ person field only one person took a donut.

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Photo cred to geoffmart65.
 

ChrisG

Unapologetic Lifer for Rock and Roll
Found this one on the internet machine. This was the Masters 45+ race at Providence and I'm sad because of a 100+ person field only one person took a donut.

TQFFqszl.png


Photo cred to geoffmart65.
Us old guys need to watch our calories.
 

The Heckler

You bring new meaning to the term SUCK
Races 15 & 16 – HPCX

Friday night I made a stop at Walmart to pick something up with my girlfriend. I hate Walmart. Everything about it. Whenever I’m inside of one I become a huge asshole. I stumbled though the stationary section and was inspired by some foam board. I had arts and Crafts time. I made a Sign. This sign infact:

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I also picked up a couple packs of cookies. I love Cat 4/5 hand ups. They like to play along. Well… They don’t know any better therefore they play along.

Saturday.

I woke up bright and early Saturday in order to make it to Thompson Park in time for MTB Mike’s race. I owed the guy a few Heckles.

Mike is an animal through the barriers. The guy gets off his bike and sprints like a mad man. Cookie hand-ups were done on the drive side at the first barrier. This made for fun while riders tried to lift their bike and reach for the cookie at the same time. I’m terrible. There is a special place in hell for people like me. The rest of the weekend I was refered to as "Cookie Monster" by numerous people.

RACE: First row call up right in the middle. Great sprint in the top ten then once on course I was just letting people pass me. I had no aggression. I actually had the thought “Hey Matt, shouldn’t you be fighting for position or something?” Every lap I was going as hard as I could up the hill and standing for the start/finish line sprint. I was dropping guys every lap over the line. The course was short and I think we ended up doing 7 or 8 laps. I pushed myself all the way up to a 4th place finish! I had a huge cheering section Saturday. My parents, Grandma, Aunt, Cousin, cousin’s friend, buddy and his girlfriend were all cheering for me on top of my usual cross homies! I think the most notable motivation, however, was coming from Big Sean. First lap a “Matt, what are you doing?” followed by “Well, I guess it’s working!” with continued “Matt, keep it up, you’re doing great.” (something close to that as I remember it. That could have also been from Sunday. It’s all becoming one race.

For my efforts I was awarded a 75th Anniversary Campy book. Pretty neat prize. $40 value.

I commemorated my near podium with this photo, thanks for the pic Delish!

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Mountain Bike Mike

Well-Known Member
Matt, you were kill'n it - I was very impressed with your race. You had some beasts in front of you and at one point I thought you were going to podium. Lou and I kept saying how good you were doing and Lou kept saying how much stronger you got.

Great race bud and I had a great time hanging out with you. The cookie monster antics were great!

Thanks for the barrier props!

Sorry I'm not going to make it this weekend. Give a heckle or two for me.
 

The Heckler

You bring new meaning to the term SUCK
Sunday

Decided to sleep in a couple hours. Grabbed some Jersey Boy Bagels and headed out of Mo' Town around 9:00.

Weather was excellent on Sunday. While possibly a little cooler the sun was out. The wind was howlin at times.

There were ~20 less guys for my race Sunday. We were talking about the lack of spectators and I think Sunday may have been attributed to the NY State championship race.

Mandy pinned me for the second day in a row. I learned even if they say you're getting a new number it may actually be the same. I could have re-used my number, 205.

Lined up front row in the middle. They extended the start finish hill an extra ~150 feet which really made a huge difference. At the top of the hill I was up in 7th I think. I may have actually been in 4th going onto the grass. Either way I had a much better first lap then the previous day until the first time up the hill. I crossed wheels with the guy in front of me and got bike tangled with Dan from Colivita behind me. I bled a good 10 spots or so.

I'm getting better on the new bike every race. I was taking corners faster then I ever have on Sunday. I felt super confident everywhere. I stood to sprint every time up the start finish hill. I had a couple laps where I needed to sit for a moment but there was almost always people to pass so I pushed.

With 2 to go I connected with Dan. He's still a junior but the kid is pretty damn fast. We exchanged spots a couple times and I made my pass before the grass climb. I attacked and he had enough. The next guy ahead was Andrew Reinmann of Team Yacht Club. Andrew and I are VERY close in speed. I've been racing him more then anyone else this year.

THE CHASE WAS ON!

I think I made most of my ground on the s/f hill for the bell lap. We exchanged spots a couple times but I made sure to get in front for the hill. Aint nobody got time to not be in the back for those switchbacks. I stood and pedaled as hard as I could. I ripped down the hill, across the off camber, around the loop, over the barriers, by the pit!

I got a look at Andrew on the switch back straight and I put a HUGE gap on. I stood for the sprint! 3rd.

15 seconds behind Bryan Carbone and 15 seconds ahead of Andrew.

I collapsed. Everything hurt.

BUT!

BEARD PODIUM!!!!

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I got a set of 25c road tires at a $80 value. Woo!

This was a rather unexciting write up but I'm tired and it was 5 days ago. WUDDA YA WANT FROM ME?!

Next up: Marty Cross.

Cross Results has me scheduled to win both days. Unfortunately(Fortunately?) there are some fast local riders who have higher points but have beaten me recently and I'm going to be seeded behind the NJ Cup points leaders.

I'm up to 7 upgrade points with optional Cat 2 upgrade at 15 and mandatory at 20. Wasn't expecting to be in this position two months back..
 

Pearl

THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING
Dude, you were ripping last weekend. Glad to toss some cookies with you.

I have a feeling the rapture will continue through the weekend for you. This is the most stacked NJ race I have ever been in.
 

The Heckler

You bring new meaning to the term SUCK
Dude, you were ripping last weekend. Glad to toss some cookies with you.

I have a feeling the rapture will continue through the weekend for you. This is the most stacked NJ race I have ever been in.

Much fun with cookies. I wanna switch it up tomorrow though.

Are you refering to HPCX or Marty's on the stacked field?
 
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