Sadly, I'll only be there on Sunday. And I'll probably be going through alcohol withdrawal. But am still looking forward to kicking this season off. My MTB season ended so long ago this is going to be a shock to the system.
The Heckle Report
- Thread starter The Heckler
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The Heckler
You bring new meaning to the term SUCK
GOING TO MAKE AN APPEARANCE?bummer i wont get to see you race, but at least we can heckle together
The Heckler
You bring new meaning to the term SUCK
Nittany Days 1 & 2 - UCI Elite
This weekend is very high up on my toughest undertakings. I've never felt so completely shelled after a set of races. The extended time, pace, aggression, and general relentlessness has completely exhausted me physically and mentally in a way I've never felt before.
I think back to my first Cat 3 start at Baystate in 2013. It's the closest memory I can draw from to relate to. I was staged second or 3rd to last row that day. It was a cold thanksgiving weekend in New England. I was in my long sleeve skinsuit shivering in the sun. I was the only LDB rider there that day. My nerves were overwhelming me. From "go" I missed my pedal, went out 3rd to last then crashed a stake on the first corner and was actually DFL by 10 seconds. The speed that the field went out was so much faster then I was used to in the 4/5 field it scared me.
Yesterday was a very similar moment filled with very similar emotions. Instead of cold and alone shivering in New England I was pouring sweat in PA surrounded by an amazing support system set up to make me as prepared for this moment as possible.
ooohhhhhhhhh my god.
Alarm went off at 7:00AM. Clio drove down from W.Mass and crashed in the guest bedroom. I had my yogurt/granola prebreakfast with coffee while spinning Leif Vollebekk's North Americana. The car was packed and we met Matt at the Sterling Diner for breakfast for 8. More coffee, 2 eggs scrambed, bacon, diner potatos and a short stack of french toast. I drink my coffee black, but luckily they serve it with a spoon already in the cup. I stir my drink and notice something odd. Instead of metal on ceramic its metal on not ceramic. I begin digging at the mystery thing and bubbles begin to rise. I pick and pick and pick and finally, with my teammates watching like I'm a maniac I find something that doesn't belong.
Without any acknowledgement of what I had found in my cup the waitress brought me a new mug.
More coffee and water in the car. We stop at the welcome center because with fluids in you get fluids out! We roll up at 10AM and set up about as far down as you can be on the top field after the traffic guy told us "you can't unload here."
I get in contact with @rsinger814 and him and Keb walk down to the tent. HOME SLICE WON THE Cat 4/5 race!! Dude, seriously stoked for you!
I get on the course for some laps but something is off. It's like nobody was there. Tent row was thinned out, and there seemed to be barely anyone around compared to years past. Truly an odd sight. Almost like a ghost town. Course is just like I remember it in years past. It's almost like they never take it down, or perhaps use GPS to lay each stake. The barriers were set up on a straightaway in an actually dry swamp leech field section. They also opted for a stair set going up the small incline into the top field.
Very dry, very dusty, very hot.
I pick up my number(s), plural? Shoulder numbers! Oy, I started counting pins figuring 13 would do it, quickly lost interest in counting and grabbed a handful.
49. I like 49 as a number but the second to last row or so call up kinda sucked. At least there wouldn't be too many people left to pass me. I line up between Matt Bruno and Cody of High Gear. A couple pretty fast dudes. Nerves are totally on fire leading up to this moment. I pass time with casual conversation but I feel like a shell of who I once was making fart noises in the second row. If they gave a start speech I didn't hear any of it.
*Green light*
Unlike my days in the 4/5's and the 3's the time to start even back in row 7 seemed almost instant. It was like the whole group moved forward together all at once. I clip in and @mattbruno slips ahead of me. I'm sprinting on his wheel when all of a sudden he TOTALLY LAYS OUT. His bike goes left with his left leg and his other leg splays to the right. I remember him almost doing a split like a hockey goalie making a swift save. I go full brake and try to duck him but totally blast him with my front tire. He's still moving forward and I feel my tread abrading him. I apologize but manage to steer away and stay on my bike and continue forward.
Total carnage ensues. I feel shell shocked from the first lap. I dap on the fist incline by the EE tent as some guy sends his bike inside line and chops me into another solar system. EVERY corner was like this. Bodies were flying left and right. I steer around 3 more crashes and end up in front of Dan Chabinov for 15 seconds before he powers by me like I'm not even there. He rode away effortlessly like he had the course to himself. He navigated traffic like it wasn't even there.
I pass Cody after he washed out in the top field. I actually make a few more passes. My HR is redlined wayyy higher then it should be. I can't hold a wheel. Person after person ride me off. I hear friends around at a few places cheering me on. My parents, Aunt Dee and Maureen are all there cheering me on too.
About 20 minutes in I hear 6 to go. 6 to go? That's a whole Cat 3 race. Where is the front of the race? Where am I? What the fuck is happening and when is it going to be over. I can't tell you much more about my actual race. I don't remember any of it. It's a blur. I kicked my pedal on my second to last lap and dropped my chain. 1 guy passed me I think. I cross the S/F for my bell lap and see 1:00:00 flat. Looks like I'm getting another full treatment.
I race that last lap with no one behind me. I noticed halfway through but I don't let up. Finally 1:07 and I finish. 39th and the last rider on the lead lap. It's over. I'm over. Find me a new body. Memory gets sharp again at the finish line. I go to ride away and think 'you should go thank your parents and hug your girlfriend.' I roll over and they are super excited and latch onto Moe and and don't let go for what seems like forever. I couldn't let go, I could barely stand. I blew up hard around 45 minutes and suffered through the rest but I didn't get lapped.
Cool down, root beer, water, banana, pack, drive, chipotle burrito bowl, kale/coconut/mint smoothy, shower, pizza, black bean brownies, feet up, then finally, Cops on Spike.
What a show.
I beat my prediction by 3 spots. Rad, and lead lap is essentially the season goal.
Sunday was another tough day. More on that Monday. I think it's about bed time.
Today was a little like day drinking. I hit it hard and now I'm sobering before bed. The cross hangover is already coming on. Monday is going to be a tough day.
This weekend is very high up on my toughest undertakings. I've never felt so completely shelled after a set of races. The extended time, pace, aggression, and general relentlessness has completely exhausted me physically and mentally in a way I've never felt before.
I think back to my first Cat 3 start at Baystate in 2013. It's the closest memory I can draw from to relate to. I was staged second or 3rd to last row that day. It was a cold thanksgiving weekend in New England. I was in my long sleeve skinsuit shivering in the sun. I was the only LDB rider there that day. My nerves were overwhelming me. From "go" I missed my pedal, went out 3rd to last then crashed a stake on the first corner and was actually DFL by 10 seconds. The speed that the field went out was so much faster then I was used to in the 4/5 field it scared me.
Yesterday was a very similar moment filled with very similar emotions. Instead of cold and alone shivering in New England I was pouring sweat in PA surrounded by an amazing support system set up to make me as prepared for this moment as possible.
ooohhhhhhhhh my god.
Alarm went off at 7:00AM. Clio drove down from W.Mass and crashed in the guest bedroom. I had my yogurt/granola prebreakfast with coffee while spinning Leif Vollebekk's North Americana. The car was packed and we met Matt at the Sterling Diner for breakfast for 8. More coffee, 2 eggs scrambed, bacon, diner potatos and a short stack of french toast. I drink my coffee black, but luckily they serve it with a spoon already in the cup. I stir my drink and notice something odd. Instead of metal on ceramic its metal on not ceramic. I begin digging at the mystery thing and bubbles begin to rise. I pick and pick and pick and finally, with my teammates watching like I'm a maniac I find something that doesn't belong.
Without any acknowledgement of what I had found in my cup the waitress brought me a new mug.
More coffee and water in the car. We stop at the welcome center because with fluids in you get fluids out! We roll up at 10AM and set up about as far down as you can be on the top field after the traffic guy told us "you can't unload here."
I get in contact with @rsinger814 and him and Keb walk down to the tent. HOME SLICE WON THE Cat 4/5 race!! Dude, seriously stoked for you!
I get on the course for some laps but something is off. It's like nobody was there. Tent row was thinned out, and there seemed to be barely anyone around compared to years past. Truly an odd sight. Almost like a ghost town. Course is just like I remember it in years past. It's almost like they never take it down, or perhaps use GPS to lay each stake. The barriers were set up on a straightaway in an actually dry swamp leech field section. They also opted for a stair set going up the small incline into the top field.
Very dry, very dusty, very hot.
I pick up my number(s), plural? Shoulder numbers! Oy, I started counting pins figuring 13 would do it, quickly lost interest in counting and grabbed a handful.
49. I like 49 as a number but the second to last row or so call up kinda sucked. At least there wouldn't be too many people left to pass me. I line up between Matt Bruno and Cody of High Gear. A couple pretty fast dudes. Nerves are totally on fire leading up to this moment. I pass time with casual conversation but I feel like a shell of who I once was making fart noises in the second row. If they gave a start speech I didn't hear any of it.
*Green light*
Unlike my days in the 4/5's and the 3's the time to start even back in row 7 seemed almost instant. It was like the whole group moved forward together all at once. I clip in and @mattbruno slips ahead of me. I'm sprinting on his wheel when all of a sudden he TOTALLY LAYS OUT. His bike goes left with his left leg and his other leg splays to the right. I remember him almost doing a split like a hockey goalie making a swift save. I go full brake and try to duck him but totally blast him with my front tire. He's still moving forward and I feel my tread abrading him. I apologize but manage to steer away and stay on my bike and continue forward.
Total carnage ensues. I feel shell shocked from the first lap. I dap on the fist incline by the EE tent as some guy sends his bike inside line and chops me into another solar system. EVERY corner was like this. Bodies were flying left and right. I steer around 3 more crashes and end up in front of Dan Chabinov for 15 seconds before he powers by me like I'm not even there. He rode away effortlessly like he had the course to himself. He navigated traffic like it wasn't even there.
I pass Cody after he washed out in the top field. I actually make a few more passes. My HR is redlined wayyy higher then it should be. I can't hold a wheel. Person after person ride me off. I hear friends around at a few places cheering me on. My parents, Aunt Dee and Maureen are all there cheering me on too.
About 20 minutes in I hear 6 to go. 6 to go? That's a whole Cat 3 race. Where is the front of the race? Where am I? What the fuck is happening and when is it going to be over. I can't tell you much more about my actual race. I don't remember any of it. It's a blur. I kicked my pedal on my second to last lap and dropped my chain. 1 guy passed me I think. I cross the S/F for my bell lap and see 1:00:00 flat. Looks like I'm getting another full treatment.
I race that last lap with no one behind me. I noticed halfway through but I don't let up. Finally 1:07 and I finish. 39th and the last rider on the lead lap. It's over. I'm over. Find me a new body. Memory gets sharp again at the finish line. I go to ride away and think 'you should go thank your parents and hug your girlfriend.' I roll over and they are super excited and latch onto Moe and and don't let go for what seems like forever. I couldn't let go, I could barely stand. I blew up hard around 45 minutes and suffered through the rest but I didn't get lapped.
Cool down, root beer, water, banana, pack, drive, chipotle burrito bowl, kale/coconut/mint smoothy, shower, pizza, black bean brownies, feet up, then finally, Cops on Spike.
What a show.
I beat my prediction by 3 spots. Rad, and lead lap is essentially the season goal.
Sunday was another tough day. More on that Monday. I think it's about bed time.
Today was a little like day drinking. I hit it hard and now I'm sobering before bed. The cross hangover is already coming on. Monday is going to be a tough day.
Attachments
Holy shit dude. Great job getting all those extra numbers pinned in the right places! How you eat all that stuff baffles me. Can't wait to hear how Sunday went.
1 dude, 2 cups.
Way to keep it fresh.
The Heckler
You bring new meaning to the term SUCK
I forgot to really talk about that experience.
I've never really pinned my own numbers. I've always gone number for number with a buddy or had someone kind enough to hook a brother up. I've done my last 3 back numbers pretty fine but the shoulder numbers are a HUGE PITA.
It probably took me about half an hour Saturday to get them on straight. Then after all of that work the were slightly outside of my arms while I was on the bike. A USAC official told me to fix them as I was rolling around by staging around noon.
UGHHHHHHHHH
The Heckler
You bring new meaning to the term SUCK
I'll get to Sunday later but first I want to share something I'm really really really excited about and very lucky to be able to do.
I've taken on a very minor "sponsorship/mentor" roll for a local 17 y/o high school student who is really into bikes. I met Junior through Marty's where Jesse encouraged him to race/ride mountain bikes. After a few successful Cat 3 races Jesse told him if he won bull dog he'd give him a road bike a customer traded in. Junior won. After that Jesse encouraged Junior to upgrade to Cat 2 for Lewis Morris. He got beat up a little that race but he's fiercely competitive and thirsty to win and improve. I cheered for him during the race and talked to him after and wish I could describe how shelled he felt but how NOT-discouraged he was. He wants to improve, he wants to progress and he wants to win. He will be racing NICA with Morristown this year.
Jesse and I both agreed that Junior should give CX a try. He will be racing his Trek Stache in the Cat 4/5 field and I'm very proud to be sponsoring his registration fees p/b The Heckle Fund. Yesterday was his first race at Nittany and he lined up DEAD LAST in a 108 person field and raced up to 75th and finished on the lead lap. I'm very proud of the dude and was STOKED to hear that he had a great time and is already addicted.
HUGE HUGE HUGE thanks to @MadisonDan for helping us both out and driving Junior to the race, you solved the hard part of this puzzle and I'm truly thankful for your assistance!!!
I've taken on a very minor "sponsorship/mentor" roll for a local 17 y/o high school student who is really into bikes. I met Junior through Marty's where Jesse encouraged him to race/ride mountain bikes. After a few successful Cat 3 races Jesse told him if he won bull dog he'd give him a road bike a customer traded in. Junior won. After that Jesse encouraged Junior to upgrade to Cat 2 for Lewis Morris. He got beat up a little that race but he's fiercely competitive and thirsty to win and improve. I cheered for him during the race and talked to him after and wish I could describe how shelled he felt but how NOT-discouraged he was. He wants to improve, he wants to progress and he wants to win. He will be racing NICA with Morristown this year.
Jesse and I both agreed that Junior should give CX a try. He will be racing his Trek Stache in the Cat 4/5 field and I'm very proud to be sponsoring his registration fees p/b The Heckle Fund. Yesterday was his first race at Nittany and he lined up DEAD LAST in a 108 person field and raced up to 75th and finished on the lead lap. I'm very proud of the dude and was STOKED to hear that he had a great time and is already addicted.
HUGE HUGE HUGE thanks to @MadisonDan for helping us both out and driving Junior to the race, you solved the hard part of this puzzle and I'm truly thankful for your assistance!!!
Mountain Bike Mike
Well-Known Member
COOL!
Yup, Junior. Had no idea he was with you, but should have known just by how STOKED he was. If he was anywhere near as pleasant after his race, he's got the head for this.
Dude.... Really no problem at all. What a great kid. Well.... young man really. He was so pumped driving out to the race. Zero music was listened to. It was all race/bike talk. Junior is also in band, and wrestles. He is the "non-traditional" athlete that NICA teams are perfect for.
Harry and I answered all his questions, gave him a few pointers, got him checked in (I had to sign for him, cause 17, pinned his number then rode a lap with him.
Like Matt said, DFL to 75th, finishing on the lead lap, in his first race, at 17, on a 29+ Stache!!! And he was even more fired up AFTER the race. More bike/race talk on the drive home! 3 hours in the car with a teenager that only wanted to talk bikes and a little about cars.
I sure hope I get a few kids on my NICA team with his level of stoke.
Also... Good to see @Norm @Dominique
Congrats again to @Delish @Dominos ! And good to meet @seanrunnette @mandi and @pearl
The Heckler
You bring new meaning to the term SUCK
Nittany Sunday 2016 Mens UCI Elite
Cops sesh ran until about 11 Saturday night before I retired. 7:00am alarm came wayyyy too soon!
AND WITH THAT WE HIT THE ROAD! Total cookie cutter of a morning from the day before except it was raining when I arrived. SUPER stoked to see the MTBNJ tent in place. Holla to @Norm @Dominique @Delish @Dominos @pearl @mandi @MadisonDan @ChrisG @seanrunnette and anyone else I'm forgetting SORRY, I don't remember much from this weekend. Generally super stoked to catch up with you all for however brief our interactions were it made Sunday a lot better for me in the lead up to my race. The familiarity of faces that was missing so bad Saturday seemed to completely fill in on Sunday.
Matt set up the tent by staging. Full walls which were cool in the rain but then the sun came out and it turned into a sauna so we pulled some walls down. This lineup looked so ridiculously pro AF I could hardly even.
I was *excited* to hear from D that during her race the mud slog FILLED with standing water. It drained but the damage was done. The mud pit was back but not anywhere near as nasty as last year. Praise the baby jesus. The easy line for me was far right. A rut developed and actually dried out to tacky mud and that's where I wanted to be.
#122 for the day. STARTING FROM 100. WHAT?! Yeah, christmas came early and the lottery gods decided I would be starting with a reasonable call up. New goal, try and hang for as long as I can which is slightly different then my other goal, try and survive.
I line up behind Dan Chabanov because he's fast, right? I'm on the right side rail. Qas from King Kog comes up to the barrier and chats for a few. I mention how much a PITA the shoulder numbers are and Dan C says "you just put a bottle in your sleeve, it's easy," in the most condescending tone possible. Tip still appreciated.
Again, if there was a pre race prep speech I didn't hear it.
2 minutes
1 minutes
30 seconds
~green light~
Such little fanfare with the green light starts. I spin up and slot into the slip stream and actually feel great! I get bumped one time by Evan Murphy! Such an honor. We hit the mud and I make it through super easy. One weird nudge from the right but nothing I wasn't getting used to. We come around the first tree U-Turn and
*memory corrupted, fatal error*
Second lap I hear 26th as I go up the stairs and into the woods. HR is high and it's starting to become difficult to hold wheels. People are flooding by me like I don't have legs. We hit the woods and
*memory corrupted, fatal error*
Garmin reads ~00:20:00 as Joe announces 7 laps to go!! 7 Laps to go?? I've done 3! quick math is a 10 lap race? Is that right??? That's a cat 4/5 race on top of a cat 3! I wimper and recover a section then get back on the
*memory corrupted, fatal error*
Matt Bruno finally catches me and comes around. Him and another dude put a few bike lengths on me through S/F. On the straight by the pits home dood tries to pass @mattbruno and hooks his bars, they both totally yard sale and I pass having watched the carnage.
*memory corrupted, fatal error*
I ride by a popped kyle murphy.
*memory corrupted, fatal error*
People steadily catching and dropping me. I ride a lap with a dude eventually pass and drop only to have more people pass and drop me.
~Bell Lap~
Finally. Thank god.
I spent my last few laps just trying to be smooth. I actually was cornering better which was good because I couldn't make any power.
I roll through the finish no hands solo doing 6 shooters because I need something to pick me up.
40th LEAD LAP!
I got a Coke and banana for $1 during last call.
Cooled down alone across the street.
So broken feeling.
Not as bad as Saturday but bad non the less.
Cali burrito was the dinner spot. Pretty solid burrito. Ever person from the NYC scene was there, it was kinda cool knowing almost every person there.
Yeah, that's a pickle in there. Total game changer.
1 day out I actually feel pretty okay. Tired, more mentally ground down than physically beat. That may flip flop tomorrow.
Town hall next week.
Cops sesh ran until about 11 Saturday night before I retired. 7:00am alarm came wayyyy too soon!
AND WITH THAT WE HIT THE ROAD! Total cookie cutter of a morning from the day before except it was raining when I arrived. SUPER stoked to see the MTBNJ tent in place. Holla to @Norm @Dominique @Delish @Dominos @pearl @mandi @MadisonDan @ChrisG @seanrunnette and anyone else I'm forgetting SORRY, I don't remember much from this weekend. Generally super stoked to catch up with you all for however brief our interactions were it made Sunday a lot better for me in the lead up to my race. The familiarity of faces that was missing so bad Saturday seemed to completely fill in on Sunday.
Matt set up the tent by staging. Full walls which were cool in the rain but then the sun came out and it turned into a sauna so we pulled some walls down. This lineup looked so ridiculously pro AF I could hardly even.
I was *excited* to hear from D that during her race the mud slog FILLED with standing water. It drained but the damage was done. The mud pit was back but not anywhere near as nasty as last year. Praise the baby jesus. The easy line for me was far right. A rut developed and actually dried out to tacky mud and that's where I wanted to be.
#122 for the day. STARTING FROM 100. WHAT?! Yeah, christmas came early and the lottery gods decided I would be starting with a reasonable call up. New goal, try and hang for as long as I can which is slightly different then my other goal, try and survive.
I line up behind Dan Chabanov because he's fast, right? I'm on the right side rail. Qas from King Kog comes up to the barrier and chats for a few. I mention how much a PITA the shoulder numbers are and Dan C says "you just put a bottle in your sleeve, it's easy," in the most condescending tone possible. Tip still appreciated.
Again, if there was a pre race prep speech I didn't hear it.
2 minutes
1 minutes
30 seconds
~green light~
Such little fanfare with the green light starts. I spin up and slot into the slip stream and actually feel great! I get bumped one time by Evan Murphy! Such an honor. We hit the mud and I make it through super easy. One weird nudge from the right but nothing I wasn't getting used to. We come around the first tree U-Turn and
*memory corrupted, fatal error*
Second lap I hear 26th as I go up the stairs and into the woods. HR is high and it's starting to become difficult to hold wheels. People are flooding by me like I don't have legs. We hit the woods and
*memory corrupted, fatal error*
Garmin reads ~00:20:00 as Joe announces 7 laps to go!! 7 Laps to go?? I've done 3! quick math is a 10 lap race? Is that right??? That's a cat 4/5 race on top of a cat 3! I wimper and recover a section then get back on the
*memory corrupted, fatal error*
Matt Bruno finally catches me and comes around. Him and another dude put a few bike lengths on me through S/F. On the straight by the pits home dood tries to pass @mattbruno and hooks his bars, they both totally yard sale and I pass having watched the carnage.
*memory corrupted, fatal error*
I ride by a popped kyle murphy.
*memory corrupted, fatal error*
People steadily catching and dropping me. I ride a lap with a dude eventually pass and drop only to have more people pass and drop me.
~Bell Lap~
Finally. Thank god.
I spent my last few laps just trying to be smooth. I actually was cornering better which was good because I couldn't make any power.
I roll through the finish no hands solo doing 6 shooters because I need something to pick me up.
40th LEAD LAP!
I got a Coke and banana for $1 during last call.
Cooled down alone across the street.
So broken feeling.
Not as bad as Saturday but bad non the less.
Cali burrito was the dinner spot. Pretty solid burrito. Ever person from the NYC scene was there, it was kinda cool knowing almost every person there.
Yeah, that's a pickle in there. Total game changer.
1 day out I actually feel pretty okay. Tired, more mentally ground down than physically beat. That may flip flop tomorrow.
Town hall next week.
The Heckler
You bring new meaning to the term SUCK
Dude, YOU'RE SO FAST. We need to keep people away from you and you'll probably be scooping points up left and right!
Come to think of it I think I was in your immediate proximity for both large snag ups you had. Maybe the @UtahJoe tire hex has moved on to you. You should probably avoid me