The Heckler
You bring new meaning to the term SUCK
BUSTED.
The Heckle Report
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The Heckler
You bring new meaning to the term SUCK
Race #1 - Riverside Park - Hartford, CT
AWW YEAHHH!!! First CX race recap!!!!!! les do dis!
I stuck around Warren Friday night and had a dinner date with Maureen at Thai Thai. Had some mean green curry. Drove up to Noho/Easthampton Saturday morning and did a 2:30 ride with Matt, Clio and Ceser who's a NYC roadie bud of Matt. Pedaled easy on some nice roads and shredded some brown pow at Robinson's.
https://www.strava.com/activities/707514543
The rest of the day was pretty chill. Legs were feeling pretty damn smoked for the little amount they actually pedaled. SOOO hot and humid. Ripped down a Bueno e Sano burrito for first dinner then met up with Ty and Chris.
Last week Tyler got hit by the lottery. I reported the news last Thursday. Hit by the lottery??? DETAILS!! So the son-in-law of a neighbor showed up with a bunch of his kids to eat and drink the free spread that was out at the race. TURNS OUT HOMIE WAS DRUNK! Ran over Ty's bike, did a donut in the asparagus field and drove through the corn field ultimately also damaging $600 of crops on top of the bike. Mark who owns the farm contacted the neighbor who got $$$ out of this dick head son-in-law which Ty and I picked up Saturday night. Ty is replacing his redline with an All-City Naturboy 853 disc. Hit by the lottery.
Second dinner was a slice the size for 3 slices from Mimo's in Noho, and ice cream.
RACCCEEE DAYYY!!!!
I woke up at 7:11 on my own on my air mattress in a steamy living room. Had a bowl of granola and milk at 7:23AM. Headed out to Stop and shop and picked up some bananananas, a gallon of water, soft KIND granola bars, 1 root beer, a gatorade and a protein shake.
Ripped over to Northampton coffee for a large hot light roast and a ham and cheese croissant (addicted) then to breuggers for a sausage egg and cheese on a bagel. Got back to Chris and Ty's and ate my sandy around 8:30 and straight chilled until 10. Racing at 2:00PM is great. It's reallynice to have chill mornings and overall totally removes some stress from the day, albeit pushing back the nerves as well.
Ate my H&C croissant in the car around 10:25 and had a bannnnanna at 11:00 as I rolled up the the venue. The crew was set up with the tent all the way in the back corner of the lot.
We had a good view of the giant hill and off camber section as well as the cricket pitch which had games going all afternoon.
Grabbed my number 423 and saw a couple faces that date all the way back to my first season. I've met a lot of people the last few years and Kyra of Live Love Velo is one of those SUPER awesome humans that I'm always stoked to catch up with. Holla to the rad folks!
The course was similar to the one I raced a couple years ago. It is at the national's venue for this January however natz will be a different promoter. Hole shot into 3 straights with high speed corners breaking them up, barriers into fast wooded section to STEEP ride/run up, ride across the top of the reservoir to a a hairpin 180 off camber, ride the off camber of the res 100 yards, hairpin off camber left, ride the off camber of the res 100 yards, 90 deg right down the res hill (STEEP) into the hard left on gravel at the bottom. Fast dirt right onto hardpack straight, loose dirt left to loose dirt right, hard pack straight. Transition to pavement ~75 yards - PICK YOU DESTINY Left line - 6 stair set, Right line - curb grass incline and single barrier. Mount, hard left, looping right, double barriers, loose open right to dumb loose mini hill with gravel at top. (5' gain) open grass corners to 270 deg off camber corber which probably follows a 5' radius (tough feature) fast corners to right hander into 'c' shaped sand pit. Line is enter right and do your best to stay right. Left hander - try not to ride into the pit accidentally, drop curb to asphalt, fast open left to 150' finish line sprint (stupid finish).
Overall the course is fast and easy with a couple elements which got tough while fatigued (the ride/run, the 270 deg off camber, the 'c' sand) and a couple elements that seemed poorly planned with an unnecessary risk factor (the stair/barrier line - both dismounts were high speed on pavement. Both barriers were also in SUPER loose spots and the ground was beat and eroded into mini divots which I nearly rolled my ankles on each lap. Overall totally forgettable course that basically tore my legs off.
STAGING! First come first serve call up got me front row next to Matt and some teenager. "30 SECONDS" teenager jams out his elbows in front of mine, I call him out, he laughs.
"GO" Slot in about 7th wheel and just totally begin bleeding spots on the opening straights. Pace was FAST and I was having trouble staying on wheels. Every gap I left open someone would sprint into. We hit the barriers and tear through the woods and it becomes a total dust bowl. You can't see a GD thing and my eyes were filling up with silt.
The hill is 1/3 ride 2/3 run due to traffic with about a net zero loss.
The front is hammering the straights and I watch them basically ride away. Already having thoughts of "what the fuck did I get myself into," two minutes in. I'm probably sitting in 15th or so or 22. Totally unimpressive start. Womp. I see Matt and Scott Y up which is where I need to be.
I'm basically riding there for the first 25 minutes which is where I see '6 laps to go.' 6?? damnnnnnn!!!!!!!
This is also where people start popping like flies. I start making passes left and right, catch a group ride for a little, pass where I can DROP, repeat, continue. I ride with Roger for 2-3 laps of NY Cross. I rip the off cambers, and then he would wip the straights at the bottom. We did decent work together until he ended up tangled in some tape and lost 5 seconds then fell back from there. With 3 to go I see Matt, he's at the top of the hill when I'm at the bottom. SO CLOSE, NEED TO CATCH. I light it up for the rest of that lap but the gap stays the same. I bobble the off camber and loose a few seconds both laps. Last time up the hill he's opened up another 5 seconds and I'm running out of steam. All along the ladies have been yelling "you've made up a ton of ground!" which is making me feel a little better. I finish looking at 1:07:11 - That's a pretty damn long race. Woof!
8th/22
https://www.strava.com/activities/709018985
LAP TIMES
7:16
7:18
7:34
7:29
7:24
2:26
7:33
7:35
Kept em pretty tightish, lap 3 was totes a recovery lap. Trying to catch Matt made my race.
Family foto, totally the black sheep of the bunch.
Clio with the P/1/2/3 WIN!
Alex en-route to her upgrade
West Hartford is nice, rich AF. Chipotle -> BEN AND JERRY'S!!!
Clio bought since she won $150. It must be nice to be fast, though turns out it's just pretty good to know fast people. WOO!
AWW YEAHHH!!! First CX race recap!!!!!! les do dis!
I stuck around Warren Friday night and had a dinner date with Maureen at Thai Thai. Had some mean green curry. Drove up to Noho/Easthampton Saturday morning and did a 2:30 ride with Matt, Clio and Ceser who's a NYC roadie bud of Matt. Pedaled easy on some nice roads and shredded some brown pow at Robinson's.
https://www.strava.com/activities/707514543
The rest of the day was pretty chill. Legs were feeling pretty damn smoked for the little amount they actually pedaled. SOOO hot and humid. Ripped down a Bueno e Sano burrito for first dinner then met up with Ty and Chris.
Last week Tyler got hit by the lottery. I reported the news last Thursday. Hit by the lottery??? DETAILS!! So the son-in-law of a neighbor showed up with a bunch of his kids to eat and drink the free spread that was out at the race. TURNS OUT HOMIE WAS DRUNK! Ran over Ty's bike, did a donut in the asparagus field and drove through the corn field ultimately also damaging $600 of crops on top of the bike. Mark who owns the farm contacted the neighbor who got $$$ out of this dick head son-in-law which Ty and I picked up Saturday night. Ty is replacing his redline with an All-City Naturboy 853 disc. Hit by the lottery.
Second dinner was a slice the size for 3 slices from Mimo's in Noho, and ice cream.
RACCCEEE DAYYY!!!!
I woke up at 7:11 on my own on my air mattress in a steamy living room. Had a bowl of granola and milk at 7:23AM. Headed out to Stop and shop and picked up some bananananas, a gallon of water, soft KIND granola bars, 1 root beer, a gatorade and a protein shake.
Ripped over to Northampton coffee for a large hot light roast and a ham and cheese croissant (addicted) then to breuggers for a sausage egg and cheese on a bagel. Got back to Chris and Ty's and ate my sandy around 8:30 and straight chilled until 10. Racing at 2:00PM is great. It's reallynice to have chill mornings and overall totally removes some stress from the day, albeit pushing back the nerves as well.
Ate my H&C croissant in the car around 10:25 and had a bannnnanna at 11:00 as I rolled up the the venue. The crew was set up with the tent all the way in the back corner of the lot.
We had a good view of the giant hill and off camber section as well as the cricket pitch which had games going all afternoon.
Grabbed my number 423 and saw a couple faces that date all the way back to my first season. I've met a lot of people the last few years and Kyra of Live Love Velo is one of those SUPER awesome humans that I'm always stoked to catch up with. Holla to the rad folks!
The course was similar to the one I raced a couple years ago. It is at the national's venue for this January however natz will be a different promoter. Hole shot into 3 straights with high speed corners breaking them up, barriers into fast wooded section to STEEP ride/run up, ride across the top of the reservoir to a a hairpin 180 off camber, ride the off camber of the res 100 yards, hairpin off camber left, ride the off camber of the res 100 yards, 90 deg right down the res hill (STEEP) into the hard left on gravel at the bottom. Fast dirt right onto hardpack straight, loose dirt left to loose dirt right, hard pack straight. Transition to pavement ~75 yards - PICK YOU DESTINY Left line - 6 stair set, Right line - curb grass incline and single barrier. Mount, hard left, looping right, double barriers, loose open right to dumb loose mini hill with gravel at top. (5' gain) open grass corners to 270 deg off camber corber which probably follows a 5' radius (tough feature) fast corners to right hander into 'c' shaped sand pit. Line is enter right and do your best to stay right. Left hander - try not to ride into the pit accidentally, drop curb to asphalt, fast open left to 150' finish line sprint (stupid finish).
Overall the course is fast and easy with a couple elements which got tough while fatigued (the ride/run, the 270 deg off camber, the 'c' sand) and a couple elements that seemed poorly planned with an unnecessary risk factor (the stair/barrier line - both dismounts were high speed on pavement. Both barriers were also in SUPER loose spots and the ground was beat and eroded into mini divots which I nearly rolled my ankles on each lap. Overall totally forgettable course that basically tore my legs off.
STAGING! First come first serve call up got me front row next to Matt and some teenager. "30 SECONDS" teenager jams out his elbows in front of mine, I call him out, he laughs.
"GO" Slot in about 7th wheel and just totally begin bleeding spots on the opening straights. Pace was FAST and I was having trouble staying on wheels. Every gap I left open someone would sprint into. We hit the barriers and tear through the woods and it becomes a total dust bowl. You can't see a GD thing and my eyes were filling up with silt.
The hill is 1/3 ride 2/3 run due to traffic with about a net zero loss.
The front is hammering the straights and I watch them basically ride away. Already having thoughts of "what the fuck did I get myself into," two minutes in. I'm probably sitting in 15th or so or 22. Totally unimpressive start. Womp. I see Matt and Scott Y up which is where I need to be.
I'm basically riding there for the first 25 minutes which is where I see '6 laps to go.' 6?? damnnnnnn!!!!!!!
This is also where people start popping like flies. I start making passes left and right, catch a group ride for a little, pass where I can DROP, repeat, continue. I ride with Roger for 2-3 laps of NY Cross. I rip the off cambers, and then he would wip the straights at the bottom. We did decent work together until he ended up tangled in some tape and lost 5 seconds then fell back from there. With 3 to go I see Matt, he's at the top of the hill when I'm at the bottom. SO CLOSE, NEED TO CATCH. I light it up for the rest of that lap but the gap stays the same. I bobble the off camber and loose a few seconds both laps. Last time up the hill he's opened up another 5 seconds and I'm running out of steam. All along the ladies have been yelling "you've made up a ton of ground!" which is making me feel a little better. I finish looking at 1:07:11 - That's a pretty damn long race. Woof!
8th/22
https://www.strava.com/activities/709018985
LAP TIMES
7:16
7:18
7:34
7:29
7:24
2:26
7:33
7:35
Kept em pretty tightish, lap 3 was totes a recovery lap. Trying to catch Matt made my race.
Family foto, totally the black sheep of the bunch.
Clio with the P/1/2/3 WIN!
Alex en-route to her upgrade
West Hartford is nice, rich AF. Chipotle -> BEN AND JERRY'S!!!
Clio bought since she won $150. It must be nice to be fast, though turns out it's just pretty good to know fast people. WOO!
Mountain Bike Mike
Well-Known Member
Well done
rsinger814
Well-Known Member
Great job! And nice recap!
Womp womp. This is always the most painful part of 1h races. You never get used to it. Solid & consistent lap times. Nice work
ChrisG
Unapologetic Lifer for Rock and Roll
Great recap as always. Fun to read. Good start to the season.
The Heckler
You bring new meaning to the term SUCK
Turns out chimney rock is CX bike friendly!
I went on a skillz ride yesterday and hit a bunch of parks/features/trails in the warren/watchung area. Cruised over to Washington Valley and ripped through the baseball fields down through the woods to orange. I'm fairly proud of myself for clearing the orange climb with only one foot down which I should have been able to avoid.
Then I ripped over to white and seshed the rolling drops WHICH WAS SO FUN!
Overall worked on:
Log hops
Barriers
Mounts/dismounts
Run ups/shouldering
'Belgian Drops'
Gravel corners
Off camber switchbacks
tight grass cornering
AND I EVEN GOT AN ACCIDENTAL KOM OUT OF IT.
Sorry @Norm.
https://www.strava.com/activities/711421753
I went on a skillz ride yesterday and hit a bunch of parks/features/trails in the warren/watchung area. Cruised over to Washington Valley and ripped through the baseball fields down through the woods to orange. I'm fairly proud of myself for clearing the orange climb with only one foot down which I should have been able to avoid.
Then I ripped over to white and seshed the rolling drops WHICH WAS SO FUN!
Overall worked on:
Log hops
Barriers
Mounts/dismounts
Run ups/shouldering
'Belgian Drops'
Gravel corners
Off camber switchbacks
tight grass cornering
AND I EVEN GOT AN ACCIDENTAL KOM OUT OF IT.
Sorry @Norm.
https://www.strava.com/activities/711421753
That 6th lap was a smoker! Awesome recap, as always. Much appreciated on a slow Wednesday when everything aches.
Even better when you're a girl, on singletrack, on a CX bike
Is this some sort of slang for EPO doses?
The Heckler
You bring new meaning to the term SUCK
Attachments
The Heckler
You bring new meaning to the term SUCK
2016 Nittany Weekend Preview
What better way to GET THE STOKE TRAIN ROLLING then a pre-cap!
UCI race weekend #1, SO excited to be pinning shoulder numbers for the first time.
*Stoked* that those cross-result numbers I've worked so hard for are now useless.
Truly excited to see all your lovely faces!
Forecast:
Looking like a warm and dry Saturday with a chance of wet or changing conditions Sunday.
UCI Men - Both days looks something like this:
If you were to scroll down to 45th place you might see my name (of 62)
UCI Women - Both days look something like this.
4/5 Men - something like this both days
3/4 Women - something like this
Heads up, my beard has a few week head start from years past. I'm going into the season close to full Muppet-y beard. So come January I should be full on caveman OR MAYBE I'LL DO A 'STACHE?! Undecided. Perhaps I'll throw you all for a loop and go with a chin strap, though it will be difficult to discern with my helmet's chin strap.
Furthermore I'd like a share an anecdote. My mother and aunt asked if I would still be in my bright orange helmet I broke the news "no, my new helmet is black," thinking nothing of it. They both mutually greeted my response with complete flabbergasted panic involving a 'get out of here' push (which nearly knocked me over) and multiple *gasps* Their panicked response: "HOW WILL WE KNOW WHICH ONE IS YOU?!" If you have a black helmet and a beard, prepare to get excellent support from my fan club.
PIT BIKE!!!
Pit bike?!?! I got a pit bike! But.. It needs some work, like cables and a BB, maybe a couple barrel adjusters and a setup to match my 'A' bike. Turns out life is a runaway train right now and time is well, where is it going? I SWEAR I USED TO HAVE TIME TO BREATH. I even remember having time to watch TV. In reality I could probably get away with just a BB. Of course I forgot my kit so instead of going to Marty's today after work to fix that I'll be going home to get a kit.
CHINA CARBON! For the bike I may only race twice this year. I gotta rebuild my rear disc wheel for the SS. WOO!
What better way to GET THE STOKE TRAIN ROLLING then a pre-cap!
UCI race weekend #1, SO excited to be pinning shoulder numbers for the first time.
*Stoked* that those cross-result numbers I've worked so hard for are now useless.
Truly excited to see all your lovely faces!
Forecast:
Looking like a warm and dry Saturday with a chance of wet or changing conditions Sunday.
UCI Men - Both days looks something like this:
If you were to scroll down to 45th place you might see my name (of 62)
UCI Women - Both days look something like this.
4/5 Men - something like this both days
3/4 Women - something like this
Heads up, my beard has a few week head start from years past. I'm going into the season close to full Muppet-y beard. So come January I should be full on caveman OR MAYBE I'LL DO A 'STACHE?! Undecided. Perhaps I'll throw you all for a loop and go with a chin strap, though it will be difficult to discern with my helmet's chin strap.
Furthermore I'd like a share an anecdote. My mother and aunt asked if I would still be in my bright orange helmet I broke the news "no, my new helmet is black," thinking nothing of it. They both mutually greeted my response with complete flabbergasted panic involving a 'get out of here' push (which nearly knocked me over) and multiple *gasps* Their panicked response: "HOW WILL WE KNOW WHICH ONE IS YOU?!" If you have a black helmet and a beard, prepare to get excellent support from my fan club.
PIT BIKE!!!
Pit bike?!?! I got a pit bike! But.. It needs some work, like cables and a BB, maybe a couple barrel adjusters and a setup to match my 'A' bike. Turns out life is a runaway train right now and time is well, where is it going? I SWEAR I USED TO HAVE TIME TO BREATH. I even remember having time to watch TV. In reality I could probably get away with just a BB. Of course I forgot my kit so instead of going to Marty's today after work to fix that I'll be going home to get a kit.
CHINA CARBON! For the bike I may only race twice this year. I gotta rebuild my rear disc wheel for the SS. WOO!