The Heckle Report

Heyheyhey! Just saw @Delish scheduled for a podium at KMC in the 2/3!

No pressure or anything.

Oh hell, I hate it when that happens. I have raced UCI and M35+ Elite there. M35+ Elite is filled with a bunch of former National-Champion-Type-Dudes so top 20 in that field is an accomplishment. I have the rest of my life to get my ass kicked by old dudes. Looking forward to racing with you children again.

You forgot to mention I am the hands down favorite going into this weekend's Granogue Team Tent Competition
 
Is this the thread where we talked about luck favoring the prepared? Can we get a scoreboard on tubulars flatted so far this year?

I'm polishing my tent poles this week. That's right, I said poles, plural!
 
Is this the thread where we talked about luck favoring the prepared? Can we get a scoreboard on tubulars flatted so far this year?

I'm polishing my tent poles this week. That's right, I said poles, plural!
I like your idea. I want to make a thread but there is too much bad juju involved.

I'm feeling shaken up just thinking about it.

Looks like I've already flatted out of every race. Thanks Norm.
 
Is this the thread where we talked about luck favoring the prepared? Can we get a scoreboard on tubulars flatted so far this year?

I'm polishing my tent poles this week. That's right, I said poles, plural!

Here is the LFtP (Luck Favors the Prepared) scorecard: 1/2
1) Challenge Team Edition Chicane on a glue shakedown tour of a local park. Learned those things are really fragile...need more PSI. Probably would have flatted in a race so call it a win?
2) Grifo on some training wheels which I rode it to work since I was doing a CX workout at a local park on the ride home. Stu

The Roofing Nail. Great for attaching asphalt shingles to plywood sheathing and ruining your morning commute.


I say eff baseball tradition. Let's talk about no-no's
 
I say eff baseball tradition. Let's talk about no-no's

Agreed. I'm pissing on my lucky socks. And what's up with not talking to the guy pitching a no-hitter? What if he has social anxiety issues? Won't this just make it worse?

The tire Gods can SaD. There, gauntlet laid down.
 
Stage behind me to the right. When I miss my pedal I pull left.
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Race 3 - Granogue CX

I had high hopes for Labor Day weekend 2015 that included camping and racing. I got into the racing but missed out on the camping but wuddayagonnado.

Anyway I woke up at 6:45 like it was a work day, packed my bags and had a coffee, and yogurt 'nd 'nola for breakfast. Every good day starts with Cabot Vanilla 'gurt. I've switched away from Bob's Red Mill 'nola for something slightly less sweet. I forget what exactly it is but its in a box and it's billed as 'America's Favorite Granola.' It also happens to be $0.50 cheaper then anything else for a full 16oz. It's also a little less tough then Bob's, which reminds me I need to get to the dentist, BUT I DIGRESS.

We (Zach, Laura and Maureen) hit the road and stopped at Walgreens for a few gallons of water before leaving town. Google Maps took us 287S to 202 to 31 to backroads to 95S. We stopped at a C-Store to bee on the backroads and I grabbed a couple bananas and a $1.49 breakfast sandwich. Egg, porkroll and cheese on a english muffin. It tasted about like nothing but stopped the hunger pains.

Showed up to the venue on time, grabbed my back of the pack number hit the pleasantly clean portajohn then jumped on the course for a couple preride laps. My first impression of the course was "What the hell am I getting myself into." Slight uphill asphalt start into a open looping right hander onto some rooty doubletrack uphill, a steep loose, DUSTY downhill chicane followed by a tough right hander to start the first part of the climb up to the tower. Slight downhill for 75 feet into a 90 degree turn up the wall of a hill. Over the top around the back around a left handed hairpin, up one more 12 foot long incline, around the bend, CCW around the tower, tough loose off camber lefthander with an uphill graded transfer to a couple flowey bends. Fast right hander through the loose dirt followed by a loose off camber left that tried to push you into the uncut grass. Fast straight away to a fast tough loose corner with rocks on th exit line, better thread that one right. Right fast hander by the pits, don't pinch on the asphalt transfer. Fast downhill flowey section tight enough to test the quality of your glue job. Annoyingly steep and brief off camber uphill in the loos dirt, dusty asphalt corner, with a brief asphalt climb, over the sandpaper mini bridge, back down the hill flowing through the trees. Left then 90 degree right into a set of lowish barriers, mount, right, speed downhill section into a hairpin lefty, slight loose slight off camber into the woods, over the bridge, a little bit of singletrack with some painted roots to the chicane short climb, left the right in the dust up the hill. Crest around to the right, by the pits again, downhill, fast open right, a left tight right into tight left around the tree, back uphill around the bend to the right, by tent row, around the 180 deg lefty for your s/f sprint, again slight uphill.

That's more or less everything. I could get more detailed with minor corners but it would be twice as long.

Anyway kicked it and talked to some folks during the next race. Tried to start warming up but the legs didn't want it. I did some hill sprints and some longer false flat pulls but the legs stayed mostly stone cold. I jumped on the course for half a lap after the 11:00 race which helped a little.

I love and hate the starts of a race. With great guys like @pearl & @keithgarrison around it's really a ton of fun. We mostly laugh about a parade lap, morning BM's, food, heat and about everything else. Thanks to order of reg me, pearl, Zach and a few other usual suspects were staged in the 9th&10th row. I think my last start this far back would have been Providence which was still only a 5th row start so I'm gonna say actually Nittany last year when my number was something like 78.

I chose the right side on the railing. There was a long stretch of the sprint that didn't have fence so I was hoping to slip up the side. AND THEIR OFF, and then 4-8 seconds later we were off. The guy ahead of me did my trademark move, missed his pedal and kinda turned taking up 2 lanes. I was stuck with the rail on the right and a flow of the few guys behind me passing on the right. We got past the fencing and I took advantage of a nice lane up the right. I got myself to who knows where when traffic stopped on the entry to the double track. I balanced clipped in and navigated the slow traffic making a few passes. I went down the dust hill and couldn't see more then 5 feet ahead. TERRIFYING-ish.

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I caught Zach doing back up the hill and we bounced off each other a couple times, total accident, had a laugh. It was a lot of sprints the first lap to get by and catch people. Passing the pits the second time @mandi called me out at 32nd (i believe). That's not bad for 80% of a lap having started 64th by call up!

Lap two was much of the same hard efforts. They warned up of a probable 6 lap race. Lap 3 and 4 were the worst. I had really done some work the first two and I was feeling it. I kept passing and passing. I think I heard 15th from @mountainbikemike with a couple to go.

The climb on lap 5 was really beating me up. Two laps in a row I led a rider up the first part of the climb, he passed me and carried speed with into the right hand uphill and I broke early and went up the inside passing him again before the top. We had a good chuckle after the second time I did it. ALL ABOUT LINES, YO.

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Final lap as I hit the uphill chicane before final pit crossing I hear Matt Bruno just crossed the line in 2nd, GREAT JOB MATTY! I kept on the gas and hit the final sprint. There are two guys in front of me. I blew by one who was a probable lapper and must have closed 8 length on the next guy. We crossed the line together but he had me by a wheel.

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SO I finished 8th! from a 9th row start. I'm gonna say that went pretty well. It was awesome to have @Mountain Bike Mike and family cheering, as well as my cousins, girlfriend and seemingly countless other friends around the course. So freaking awesome. Thanks MTBNJ tent crew for the words as well.

Lap times p/b STRAVA
7:32
7:28
7:47
7:47
7:53
7:40

I wish I could've had a wide open lap 1 to see where that would have put my other times. I think the leaders did around a 7:00 first lap.

@soulchild in team colors
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@pearl now racing CX for Elite Endurance (with the serious face)
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Friday's for lunch
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Overall awesome day. Stoked to see everyone. Thanks @Norm for letting me crash the tent!
 
i counted 3 mississippi's before we started rolling at the start... while i didnt mind the six laps, the first 2 hurt SO BAD from those efforts to pass people that it made the second half of my last lap (8:02) the nail in the coffin.

EXCITED TO SEE YOU ALMOST EVERY WEEKEND
 
Race 3 - Granogue CX

My first impression of the course was "What the hell am I getting myself into." Slight uphill asphalt start into a open looping right hander onto some rooty doubletrack uphill, a steep loose, DUSTY downhill chicane followed by a tough right hander to start the first part of the climb up to the tower. Slight downhill for 75 feet into a 90 degree turn up the wall of a hill. Over the top around the back around a left handed hairpin, up one more 12 foot long incline, around the bend, CCW around the tower, tough loose off camber lefthander with an uphill graded transfer to a couple flowey bends. Fast right hander through the loose dirt followed by a loose off camber left that tried to push you into the uncut grass. Fast straight away to a fast tough loose corner with rocks on th exit line, better thread that one right. Right fast hander by the pits, don't pinch on the asphalt transfer. Fast downhill flowey section tight enough to test the quality of your glue job. Annoyingly steep and brief off camber uphill in the loos dirt, dusty asphalt corner, with a brief asphalt climb, over the sandpaper mini bridge, back down the hill flowing through the trees. Left then 90 degree right into a set of lowish barriers, mount, right, speed downhill section into a hairpin lefty, slight loose slight off camber into the woods, over the bridge, a little bit of singletrack with some painted roots to the chicane short climb, left the right in the dust up the hill. Crest around to the right, by the pits again, downhill, fast open right, a left tight right into tight left around the tree, back uphill around the bend to the right, by tent row, around the 180 deg lefty for your s/f sprint, again slight uphill.

normclap.gif
 
Good racin' and hecklin' and recapin'! Heckler be hecklin' BEFORE my race even started.

I wish I could've had a wide open lap 1 to see where that would have put my other times. I think the leaders did around a 7:00
first lap.

By my analysis the 1st lap was about about 20s quicker than the second lap for people not stuck in traffic.

Starting from the back takes a different kind of energy--I find it to be much more on/off. Tough course to make passes tho.
 
Good racin' and hecklin' and recapin'! Heckler be hecklin' BEFORE my race even started.



By my analysis the 1st lap was about about 20s quicker than the second lap for people not stuck in traffic.

Starting from the back takes a different kind of energy--I find it to be much more on/off. Tough course to make passes tho.
We weren't sticking around so I had to get it in while I could!! Great job out there BTW, I stalked your results via various internet channels.
 
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