ArmyOfNone
Well-Known Member
I was having a light switch rave earlier and i think it only added to their opinion of me...that I am completely insane.
Spring Silence: Uncoiling the Fat Dragon
- Thread starter Norm
- Start date
ArmyOfNone
Well-Known Member
oh and bring the monkeys back.
You choose not to blog over the weekend because you know that so few people read it. So you write down small notes on a piece of paper next to your work computer when something comes to mind. Not much comes to mind aside from the basic facts about the last few days. Thursday you woke up at 189. Friday 190. Saturday 188. Then Sunday you finally topped it off with 191. You've been building hours, and you could feel yesterday that you were getting bloated and tired. A former you may be discouraged by the 191 on Sunday but you're well versed in this, and you know your calorie model works.
Your calorie model has you at -6500 for the week with Sunday to go, and your baseline 7 day weight is 189.71. With 6 weeks to go until Battenkill, you need to get that number down to 180. The low for the week is what you like to use as your best weight. But the 7 day average is better as it's much less variable and not prone to the fluctuations you see, especially when you ride a lot.
On riding, your week to that point had gone well. Thursday you did another 2 hours of tempo, but this time a flatter route (http://connect.garmin.com/activity/69922132). Friday you weren't thrilled by the rain but said to hell with it, geared up, and rode for almost 3 hours in the rain, at times with it absolutely pissing down on you (http://connect.garmin.com/activity/70055583). You do this only because Pearl was impressed with kev for riding in the conditions, and Dustin said that these kinds of days you could stuff rule #5.
You took the mountain bike out in the bad weather but it had a flat front tire, so you jammed a 26" tube in it because that's what was handy. You then had to slap on a GPS mount with twist ties from the basement work bench. You left the house when it was raining and 38 degrees. Even though you wee softened up a bit by your trip to Taiwan, you fully understand what rule #5 means. There are many ways to apply this rule. It doesn't always need to be in the form of physical. In the end, it's really about not making excuses. You've seen people wearing garbage bags before. Respect that, you do. As does Yoda.
You wonder if measuring your total heart beats in a given workout, or week, would be an interesting metric. You write it down so you can share it, but don't really feel like trying it out.
You finally get around to weighing one of the pineapple cakes you brought back with you from Taiwan. Everything in Taiwan has calorie counts, but they're all based on 100g of the food so it gives you the options to fool yourself into saying what you have is only 25g or 50g. This cake is 450 calories for 100g. It is so small, barely a 1 inch square. It weighs in at 50g. You now understand why the scale reports back these numbers that it does. You wonder if 50g of butter is 225 calories.
You're entertained by Luke and Tim's desire to ride with you. You do your best to be charitable, but you can't envision a scenario where this will work out as anything other than pure gold to share on your blog. By the time the trails dry out, you'll be 185 and firmly in kill mode. In fact, you're already almost in early kill mode. You do like pancakes though, so if Luke insists maybe you'll actually invite him over and make some. He, along with Utah, doesn't really understand that people who are married with kids can't just up & leave the house to go have pancakes with other grown men.
You enter a calorie arms challenge with Utah to see who can draw a bigger calori deficit for the week. Utah then proceeds to lick door handles and hand rails for the next 3 days until he gets himself sick and vomits for 2 days. After Saturday, he somehow leads 6800 to 6500, despite the fact you seem to win the daily calorie comparison. You should have been writing it down.
You strongly consider changing your avatar to the big fat dragon that Jeff posts. You are a firm believer in non-rotating avatars, but this one may be good enough to warrant a change. You keep it in the back of your head.
You remember that you had a confession to make. On the second trainer ride last week, your basement was so cold that you wore a long-sleeve jersey. You lose major rule #5 points with that one, but feel that you make it up with a 3 hour rain ride on Friday. Incidentally, on that ride it rains harder at one point than you ever remember in your life. You are going downhill when it really opens up, coming down into New Providence from the Watchung Reservation. The rain is so heavy that the front tire spray stops. This is how insane the rain was.
You have ceased beer drinking and eating sweets this week. Last year you thought that excess coffee seemed to make you more hungry. But now you seem to see a pattern that removing sweets entirely from your diet appears to be curbing your appetite considerably. This kind of calorie deficit is unheard of. But you're not really having any problems sticking with it. You seem to remember Luke saying something to this effect.
Utah stops by Saturday to bring your mountain bikes back. You try not to get within 30 feet of him because he just got off a stomach virus which had him vomiting. Given that bot you and Julia were sick with the same sort of awful thing, you want nothing to do with a second wave of that. It feels good to have the mountain bikes back, and you wish you could ride them again on their proper terrain.
On Saturday, you do what you refer to as your version of the On Call Loop (http://connect.garmin.com/activity/70222101). This allows you to ride and never really be more than 15 minutes from the house if the phone rings. You check your BB every 20 minutes, and no actionable email comes through. You miss a call, but they don't leave a VM nor do they email, so you don't worry about it. You manage over 2 hours, which brings your 6 day stretch to 1-1-2-2-3-2 hours, for a total of 11, with Sunday still to go. This is why you're tired. You probably need a break.
You text with Fred later, and discuss the race season which starts on Saturday of the next weekend. The race is at 7:00 am, followed by another at 8:00. They post 2 4/5 races, so it makes the day much more worth it. If you have to go into Newark, you might as well make it worth it. You plan to do these but if it's 20 degrees, or raining, you will likely pass. You do want to race sooner than later as you need the work. For the first time this year, you jam a few of the rollers on your ride, and while it hurts a little bit, you still have a little bit of that form leftover from cx season, just as Maurice said you would.
You map out the Battenkill ride and note that there are no big climbs on the route, and this surprises you. You thought that it was one of those big Catskill rides, where it was flats or hills. But this is littered with small punchy climbs, and only 3-4 climbs in the 300 foot range. This means you need to work on the punchy stuff, and fast. So you'll be doing more of that on your own, and pressing the issue by doing these Saturday morning races sooner than later. It's amazing to you that race season is here already. The next 5 weeks have Branchburg races, followed by Battenkill, and finally SSaP. Michaux and that Hunterdon thing are in there, on the same weekend actually, but you don't know if you're up for those. You're interested in Michaux but you will burn a lot of MBUs doing the Battenkill race since you need to go up Saturday night.
Sunday you ride for 4 hours (http://connect.garmin.com/activity/70468576) and feel good, especially considering it's your 7th day in a row. The plan called for 15 hours on the week and you manage 15 hours and 29 seconds. If nothing else, you're a good student. You're out the door at 6:30 and done before 11:00. You average 240 watts for the 4 hours. You're content with that. This will be your main focus this year, working on that 4 hour power. Your ride is generally uneventful, which is good. You pass maybe 20 cars in 4 hours. You like this.
Your inner monologue starts to happen in the 2nd person. This concerns you, but only a little bit. After thinking about this some more, you wonder if this is how mentally deranged people think. Norm switches to 3rd person. He decides that no, the 3rd person is how mentally deranged people think. You switch back.
You spend the next 8 hours cleaning Julia's basement room plus the 2 upstairs rooms. The WVA is coming by tomorrow to pick up donations, and you are taking this opportunity to donate some things that take up a massive amount of space. In the end, you load up about 8 boxes and 12 garbage bags full of stuff, plus a futon couch. This amounts to about the size of a Mini Cooper, which you pile on your front porch and cover with a tarp in the event that it rains overnight. Despite this, you don't drink any of the Nugget Nectar in the house. You drank no beer this week.
Your total calorie deficit for the week was 7672.
On Monday, you go into the office for the first time since mid-December.
Your calorie model has you at -6500 for the week with Sunday to go, and your baseline 7 day weight is 189.71. With 6 weeks to go until Battenkill, you need to get that number down to 180. The low for the week is what you like to use as your best weight. But the 7 day average is better as it's much less variable and not prone to the fluctuations you see, especially when you ride a lot.
On riding, your week to that point had gone well. Thursday you did another 2 hours of tempo, but this time a flatter route (http://connect.garmin.com/activity/69922132). Friday you weren't thrilled by the rain but said to hell with it, geared up, and rode for almost 3 hours in the rain, at times with it absolutely pissing down on you (http://connect.garmin.com/activity/70055583). You do this only because Pearl was impressed with kev for riding in the conditions, and Dustin said that these kinds of days you could stuff rule #5.
You took the mountain bike out in the bad weather but it had a flat front tire, so you jammed a 26" tube in it because that's what was handy. You then had to slap on a GPS mount with twist ties from the basement work bench. You left the house when it was raining and 38 degrees. Even though you wee softened up a bit by your trip to Taiwan, you fully understand what rule #5 means. There are many ways to apply this rule. It doesn't always need to be in the form of physical. In the end, it's really about not making excuses. You've seen people wearing garbage bags before. Respect that, you do. As does Yoda.
You wonder if measuring your total heart beats in a given workout, or week, would be an interesting metric. You write it down so you can share it, but don't really feel like trying it out.
You finally get around to weighing one of the pineapple cakes you brought back with you from Taiwan. Everything in Taiwan has calorie counts, but they're all based on 100g of the food so it gives you the options to fool yourself into saying what you have is only 25g or 50g. This cake is 450 calories for 100g. It is so small, barely a 1 inch square. It weighs in at 50g. You now understand why the scale reports back these numbers that it does. You wonder if 50g of butter is 225 calories.
You're entertained by Luke and Tim's desire to ride with you. You do your best to be charitable, but you can't envision a scenario where this will work out as anything other than pure gold to share on your blog. By the time the trails dry out, you'll be 185 and firmly in kill mode. In fact, you're already almost in early kill mode. You do like pancakes though, so if Luke insists maybe you'll actually invite him over and make some. He, along with Utah, doesn't really understand that people who are married with kids can't just up & leave the house to go have pancakes with other grown men.
You enter a calorie arms challenge with Utah to see who can draw a bigger calori deficit for the week. Utah then proceeds to lick door handles and hand rails for the next 3 days until he gets himself sick and vomits for 2 days. After Saturday, he somehow leads 6800 to 6500, despite the fact you seem to win the daily calorie comparison. You should have been writing it down.
You strongly consider changing your avatar to the big fat dragon that Jeff posts. You are a firm believer in non-rotating avatars, but this one may be good enough to warrant a change. You keep it in the back of your head.
You remember that you had a confession to make. On the second trainer ride last week, your basement was so cold that you wore a long-sleeve jersey. You lose major rule #5 points with that one, but feel that you make it up with a 3 hour rain ride on Friday. Incidentally, on that ride it rains harder at one point than you ever remember in your life. You are going downhill when it really opens up, coming down into New Providence from the Watchung Reservation. The rain is so heavy that the front tire spray stops. This is how insane the rain was.
You have ceased beer drinking and eating sweets this week. Last year you thought that excess coffee seemed to make you more hungry. But now you seem to see a pattern that removing sweets entirely from your diet appears to be curbing your appetite considerably. This kind of calorie deficit is unheard of. But you're not really having any problems sticking with it. You seem to remember Luke saying something to this effect.
Utah stops by Saturday to bring your mountain bikes back. You try not to get within 30 feet of him because he just got off a stomach virus which had him vomiting. Given that bot you and Julia were sick with the same sort of awful thing, you want nothing to do with a second wave of that. It feels good to have the mountain bikes back, and you wish you could ride them again on their proper terrain.
On Saturday, you do what you refer to as your version of the On Call Loop (http://connect.garmin.com/activity/70222101). This allows you to ride and never really be more than 15 minutes from the house if the phone rings. You check your BB every 20 minutes, and no actionable email comes through. You miss a call, but they don't leave a VM nor do they email, so you don't worry about it. You manage over 2 hours, which brings your 6 day stretch to 1-1-2-2-3-2 hours, for a total of 11, with Sunday still to go. This is why you're tired. You probably need a break.
You text with Fred later, and discuss the race season which starts on Saturday of the next weekend. The race is at 7:00 am, followed by another at 8:00. They post 2 4/5 races, so it makes the day much more worth it. If you have to go into Newark, you might as well make it worth it. You plan to do these but if it's 20 degrees, or raining, you will likely pass. You do want to race sooner than later as you need the work. For the first time this year, you jam a few of the rollers on your ride, and while it hurts a little bit, you still have a little bit of that form leftover from cx season, just as Maurice said you would.
You map out the Battenkill ride and note that there are no big climbs on the route, and this surprises you. You thought that it was one of those big Catskill rides, where it was flats or hills. But this is littered with small punchy climbs, and only 3-4 climbs in the 300 foot range. This means you need to work on the punchy stuff, and fast. So you'll be doing more of that on your own, and pressing the issue by doing these Saturday morning races sooner than later. It's amazing to you that race season is here already. The next 5 weeks have Branchburg races, followed by Battenkill, and finally SSaP. Michaux and that Hunterdon thing are in there, on the same weekend actually, but you don't know if you're up for those. You're interested in Michaux but you will burn a lot of MBUs doing the Battenkill race since you need to go up Saturday night.
Sunday you ride for 4 hours (http://connect.garmin.com/activity/70468576) and feel good, especially considering it's your 7th day in a row. The plan called for 15 hours on the week and you manage 15 hours and 29 seconds. If nothing else, you're a good student. You're out the door at 6:30 and done before 11:00. You average 240 watts for the 4 hours. You're content with that. This will be your main focus this year, working on that 4 hour power. Your ride is generally uneventful, which is good. You pass maybe 20 cars in 4 hours. You like this.
Your inner monologue starts to happen in the 2nd person. This concerns you, but only a little bit. After thinking about this some more, you wonder if this is how mentally deranged people think. Norm switches to 3rd person. He decides that no, the 3rd person is how mentally deranged people think. You switch back.
You spend the next 8 hours cleaning Julia's basement room plus the 2 upstairs rooms. The WVA is coming by tomorrow to pick up donations, and you are taking this opportunity to donate some things that take up a massive amount of space. In the end, you load up about 8 boxes and 12 garbage bags full of stuff, plus a futon couch. This amounts to about the size of a Mini Cooper, which you pile on your front porch and cover with a tarp in the event that it rains overnight. Despite this, you don't drink any of the Nugget Nectar in the house. You drank no beer this week.
Your total calorie deficit for the week was 7672.
On Monday, you go into the office for the first time since mid-December.
Wow.Thats a lot of info in one post.
I like most other people do enjoy hearing what your doing and how the training is going. You need to post up everyday...in 1st person, 2nd or 3rd, whichever you like.
Your a nut for riding in the rain on Friday. Vreeland and Kev ride in the rain to get to work, so you could argue they need to cycle in the rain. It is good to know you ride in a monsoon for 3hrs, it helps us normal cyclists get through rides when we get caught in a sprinkle, or have to ride when its windy out...you provide motivation.
I like most other people do enjoy hearing what your doing and how the training is going. You need to post up everyday...in 1st person, 2nd or 3rd, whichever you like.
Your a nut for riding in the rain on Friday. Vreeland and Kev ride in the rain to get to work, so you could argue they need to cycle in the rain. It is good to know you ride in a monsoon for 3hrs, it helps us normal cyclists get through rides when we get caught in a sprinkle, or have to ride when its windy out...you provide motivation.
Hey, I can drive to work you know and I took a longer way in
Still though, 3hrs is way more than the hour I did and that is a different level than what I am doing. It also even more impressive as norm was probably wearing normal shoes and spring gloves.
ChrisRU
Well-Known Member
Good stuff. I'm with pooRiggy, keep the up the good work, reading about what you're doing just makes me embarressed about my efforts. At the same time, without your blog and the others on the site, I probably wouldn't even think about training or trying to try a training plan of my own, so I think you inspire the people a bit.
I'm liking the term inner monologue, I never really knew what to call stream of thought that develops on a ride. I'm going to borrow that one.
I'm liking the term inner monologue, I never really knew what to call stream of thought that develops on a ride. I'm going to borrow that one.
Pearl
THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING
Good point Rob. Bad Norm vs Good Norm?
hey fatty:
nice work on the rides and damn, that is a LOT of info to synthesize in the second person. i bet those nugget nectars would have been awesome after all that work. i would have drank them. in fact, since you are now the equivalent of beer buddhist, can i?
i got on the scale at 197.5 yesterday. honestly, this does not worry me a bit. my 35 jeans are still big in the waist and i'm benching over 315lbs again. if it weren't for the fact that i wanted to be a faster cyclist, i wouldn't even consider cutting weight. but i do. so 185 is the goal by the SSaP. tomorrow i get on my own calorie cutting pain train.
i actually (and briefly) entertained goating you into having a calorie cutting contest with me but i realized that in the end, your OCD would fully takeover and you would win. plus i will drink beer.
i'm all for the whole deprivation thing but there are just some lines i won't cross.
nice work on the rides and damn, that is a LOT of info to synthesize in the second person. i bet those nugget nectars would have been awesome after all that work. i would have drank them. in fact, since you are now the equivalent of beer buddhist, can i?
i got on the scale at 197.5 yesterday. honestly, this does not worry me a bit. my 35 jeans are still big in the waist and i'm benching over 315lbs again. if it weren't for the fact that i wanted to be a faster cyclist, i wouldn't even consider cutting weight. but i do. so 185 is the goal by the SSaP. tomorrow i get on my own calorie cutting pain train.
i actually (and briefly) entertained goating you into having a calorie cutting contest with me but i realized that in the end, your OCD would fully takeover and you would win. plus i will drink beer.
i'm all for the whole deprivation thing but there are just some lines i won't cross.
RNG1
Well-Known Member
I like that, he can go to fat norm and skinny norm too. THis gets him at least to 4th person and we can take this up again after that. Good job
Dusty the Whale
Mr.Chainsaw
I got on the scale yesterday and it said 230. My 36" jeans are falling off my ass. Still have a little belly but the old lady at the library thinks it's cute
aren't you like 6'2" though?
Dusty the Whale
Mr.Chainsaw
5'10".
ChrisG
Unapologetic Lifer for Rock and Roll
4th person?!?
wahhhhhhhhooo dude, no wonder you sink like a weight while climbing.
Dusty the Whale
Mr.Chainsaw
Only on the road bike, on my MTB Its a completely different story. I eat right and ride a lot. My beer intake is at an all time low... I'm talking 3-4 bottles a week. I feel good so I'll just go with it
huh. i'm like almost 5'9" so everyone is 6' to me.
4th person?!?
chris, it's rob's world, we just live in it.
I have heard you are a slimmer sexier version of yourself, but gravity is the same regardless of the surface beneath you, more weight equals more weight to lug up a hill, however riding skill plays much more of a role off road.
BTW, none of that matters if you are bitch slapping fools you are riding with...
Just think if you were 180 though, you'd be a heavier hitter (pun-age).
I think the only lesson I remember from english class was something about the overuse of the word "you" in writing.
230 is too heavy dustin. As Kevin said, gravity sucks. You want to run with pearls skinny ass, you need to drop a few. Get down to 200 already. Your a leg shaver for christ sakes, you should be eating like one
230 is too heavy dustin. As Kevin said, gravity sucks. You want to run with pearls skinny ass, you need to drop a few. Get down to 200 already. Your a leg shaver for christ sakes, you should be eating like one
