Spring Silence: Uncoiling the Fat Dragon

Norm

Mayor McCheese
Team MTBNJ Halter's
#1
Yes, another one. This will be written in the second person, at least until I forget that I'm writing it in the second person.

You go away on a 6 week trip, and blog every day. When you get back, it's cold. Fred says he's going to hold you to the non-complaint factor, so you can't say it's cold, but even 35 feels cold. Oddly, 55 feels like mid-summer, and you can ride in shorts and a ss jersey. But below 50 is another world. Weather has become binary to you. Above 50 warm, below 50 cold.

You've lost the desire to blog, but you sometimes can't shut up so you start a new blog. At this point, you are 1 of 715 blogs on the site and outsiders likely look at the board and think, "What a bunch of losers." No matter, you don't read other boards because you barely have the time to keep 1 in check let alone 5 others.

Silent Spring was a novel by Rachel Carson. You happen to think she's misguided but you like the title, so you steal it to represent the fact you need to blog less and thus, at least relative to you, this spring may be silent. Or may not.

You also choose the word Uncoil because you need to undo what you did while you were away for 6 weeks, at least as it pertains to the next part of the title.

You finally went with Fat Dragon. Dragon has obvious Chinese meaning, and most people like the word dragon. You also chose the word fat, because you're fat. You've peaked at 193 on the scale since you've been back. You don't want to admit that somehow you gained 9 pounds while riding an average of 2 hours a day for 6 weeks with no breaks. But there it is. So you avoid the question when anyone brings it up. This is on top of the 9 pounds that you gained before you even went on the trip. Jake had told you that you were going to gain weight, but 9 was a little absurd.

You more or less took a week off the bike because you didn't rest while away, and you had jetlag then you picked up a stomach bug in conjunction with your daughter. At the end of the week you felt no better. You suffered the worst effects of jetlag on this return trip, worse than any in your memory.

You did an FTP test at the end of that week, and it told you your FTP was 320. While not bad, you started the test massively, looking like you were going to ring in around 335. Your body flat-out failed you, and by the end you had massive cramps and at the 19th minute of the 20 minute test, you decided to quit. You immediately un-quit. Your results were ok, but you felt dreadful.

You decided that Monday was the beginning of your 8 week hard core boot camp to ride into the Battenkill and finally SSaP. You bought another training plan, and set it up to start that Monday. You also decided to start counting calories again on that day.

You woke up at 192, still fat. You got a flat on your first ride. It was on the trainer. You kept going. Like many things in life, you question the wisdom of that. But like a metaphor for the entire blogging thing, you kept going, because in a sense, that's just what you do.

You need to get your shit together, and fast.
 

UtahJoe

Team Workhorse
Team MTBNJ Halter's
#4
You've peaked at 193 on the scale since you've been back. You don't want to admit that somehow you gained 9 pounds while riding an average of 2 hours a day for 6 weeks with no breaks
Im probably the only one that this will come as no suprise to. If I was strapped to a bicycle that I needed to ride 24hrs a day, I would still gain weight if I didnt closely watch what I eat.



Welcome back AWESOMO

 
#5
I don't read other boards. Everything I've ever know or will learn about bikes or bike riding or racing or beers comes from this site. Truth be told I knew a little something about beers before I found this site ...so I kinda lied. Liars are the only type if person I can not tolerate. It's easier to tell the truth than it is to remember a lie.
 

stb222

Love Drunk
Jerk Squad
#6
Glad to see you are back. I feel like this is the Empire Strikes Back of your recent blogs, but your not the Empire. We are among dark days. All I can say is you are lucky the temps have moderated as january was cold as f.

In any case, I have no doubt you will come out of this funk.
 

bonefishjake

Strong like bull, smart like tractor
Team MTBNJ Halter's
#8
i'm happy you are only two pounds less than me.

i have not gotten a flat on my trainer yet. i have to admit, i LOL'd at that.

and i beg you, please don't write like that. it was a total mind fcuk.
 

rocknrollgirl

Well-Known Member
#17
I gave up on the other blog because the food was frreaking me out and you had no right to be riding in shorts while we were in the crapper. I will read this one over breakfast if you stop writing like that. It sounds like the Twilight Zone Intro....