xc62701
Well-Known Member
...and not making a mistake (like burping a tire) really take priority...
Thanks backseat theorist
But when you've got an opportunity you gotta go for it! I just happened to not work.
Can I get a freakin race report?
- Thread starter jShort
- Start date
Thanks backseat theorist
But when you've got an opportunity you gotta go for it! I just happened to not work.
xc62701
Well-Known Member
Agreed. I thought we'd have at least a few more racers than we did. It was definitely the best course of the season so far and probably won't be beat.
I'm guessing you're Matt?
No, he is HOTSAUCE!
StayHydrated
Swedish Chef
I like to yell HOTSAUCE really loudly in public. Something about it...
I'm like 3-4 races behind uploading....
That looks like a great course!
Why don’t you just start better so you don’t have to pass so many people the first lap?
Pearl
THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING
the USAC officials have crushes on all the Raleigh racers and screw us Charlotte people.
I wasn't gonna say nuttin'. least you made up for it for making a sketchy pass in the woods doe.
Pearl
THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING
LOL, i didn't do a lap of the course at all, i was chatting up with Dago and Mandi while they were drinking at the beer garden and by the time I could have went out, I missed my window...
The course was only slightly different so I figured, how different could it be?
The course was only slightly different so I figured, how different could it be?
Mountain Bike Mike
Well-Known Member
The gravel turn where he got passed by two dudes?
Nice work (except that one turn).
But really, you need to "Braaaap" when you pass dudes. I think everyone would enjoy that.
bigW
Well-Known Member
That looked fast and fun. Nice course.
Friday night was spent slamming the race .csv file into something I could read on the fly during the race. Goodbye hometowns and ages, hello simple rows of cats, Crossresults race predictor info for the top fives of each and lots of empty space for scratching illegible numbers. Wanted to get to bed early, as I had to be on the road by 6:30. Mission semi-accomplished. Stomach issues and nerves made three o'clock an awesome time for starting into my cat's eyes as he willed me to feed him. Sleep/torpor won out and the animals got fed at 6.
On the road with a gut full of horror and a thermos of coffee. By 7:30 Jim Bernstein and I had figured out where all the pluggy-inny bits had got to and had noise coming out of the PA. A pad got connected and the first of thirty attempts to keep Spotify running throughout the day was attempted.
At 7:45 I was able to begin annoying folks on the reg'lar. Took a couple of breaks to sadden-up the interior of the porta-john, but for the most part, stood there like a hat rack for the whole day, trying not to be too much of an asshole...
Started the day with the 4s. Ben Douglas won. He ripped the first couple laps, burnt a book of matches and watched Josh Noggle bridge and gap him. Then he watched Noggle's derailleur explode and steady-eddied for the win. Pretty fun stuff, early on, esp. when I learned that the 2nd place riders name WASN'T WHAT I'D BEEN CALLING HIM. Mr. Chris Bowie signed in as Grant Aidner, took his number and podium'd before anyone was the wiser.
The next race was a clusterfuck of 5s and 40+4/5s. I really wanted to try to get the front of BOTH of these races at least partially correct. I think I was close. And I think they were good races. I couldn't really tell. It was just a horror-show from where I stood. Like a grenade of horrible lycra color clashes had gone off in my face. Way too many people on course, esp. given the paucity of folks toward the end of the day. At the risk of sounding ungrateful for the fun I had in the 40+4/5s, if this cat was ditched and even HALF of those folks raced in the 40+ masters later on, the day might be more evenly spread and the 40+4/5s could get a longer race. OTOH we would miss the complaints that come from this field. Chapeau to @1sh0t1b33r for a solid 7th on a singlespeed - the worst choice since Napoleon looked at the map and said, "Waterloo, that looks nice!"
As the Juniors took of in their adorable waves, I began to feel faint. I'd already been on my feet for 3.5 hours, the sun had established itself as the day's biggest PITA, and my head was cooking. Note to self: always. bring. the. fucking. canopy. At least I had a hat and some sunscreen.
Was extra careful not be be a dick during the Junior's races, and tried to call 'em all out as they went through the barriers. Some of them are race-ready, and could prolly beat the asses off most of the rest of us (Ben Douglas, racing AGAIN after winning the 4s earlier, for example. He will knock the teeth out of your face and eat them like chicklets. And Tommy Shapiro will stare the blood out of your body. Ripping efforts from both of them at the front of the 15-18 race.)
There were a few moments before the next race had to be called to the line, during which @Dominos was kind enuf to take food from her babies and give it to me, as there was nothing on site and I was thinking I might be able to do solids. Great success! @Santapez stole some wheels from my van & @MissJR seemed like she was incredibly almost sanguine about being there. Lots of folks spotted and high fived. @MadisonDan spread the MTBNJ.COM canopy's wings, sadly way down on the other side of tent row and @jShort began fine tuning his sybelline prophecy. (Nailed it.)
The 50+ field was a lot of fun, esp. the down to the wire sprint of Schepisi and Kahl for the State Championship, as well as 2nd and 3rd on the day. I, of course, thought there was another lap to go. (Happily, Masters racers know they have to be responsible for their race. Read the cards, listen for the bell. Period. I'm not in a blue shirt. I just have a mic. That's pretty much the ONLY difference between me and the homeless guy jerking off in the woods at the bottom of the big hill. Oh, you didn't see him? N'mind.)
60+ was a Larry Towner administered beating. There was almost 12 hours of daylight between him and the hard-fought duel for second between Troianello and Kennedy. They took it to the line as well, with Kennedy edging Ed at the line. I was later hepped to the fact that Ed dropped his chain at the bottom of the descent and Kennedy sat up and waited. If you're super-classy when no one can see you, does it count?
Then ALL the women's field were dumped out onto the field. I wish there was a way to magically make more women race in NJ. PA had over 40 combined. We had 15. The racing was great, esp. when Lauren Twombly kept charging Lianna Pacifico for the State Championship jersey in the 3/4/5s, but there was so much air between racers I thought it was the men's A race. Still, everyone was still here and the vibe was awesome, esp. around the hill and the HB and MTBNJ.COM tents. It's amazing how much that helped keep the race fun for folks. Well, me anyhoo. I kept it interesting by calling the women's 3/4/5s done when they had another lap to go. I think Jill White, who won, hates me.
Eric Paulsen, who had a terrible race, but an awesome time, kept putting food in my mouth, for which I am deeply indebted. And for the beers, as well. If you want your kids to be happy fat alcoholics, let Eric and Kat babysit.
The 40+ Masters saw Ralf Warmuth teach the super-strong newbie Chris Forenbaher how to read lap cards. When Warmuth posted up, Forenbaher's carefully planned strategy of beating him on the next lap fell to pieces. (Ed Troianello taught me that at the 2nd Marty's race back at Greystone - read the card, kid, or I'll beat your ass. He beat my ass.) Forenbaher wouldn't have won anyhoo. Warmuth is sooooooo good at this stuff. @Delish reached out from behind the Evenflo and ripped third from @jShort's grip. A solid 4th for @jShort. Brandy Boyle hung like a Brown Marmorated Stink Bug on a screen for 5th.
The B's saw Mike Kucharski tow Brendan Offer around for a couple of laps. Then Offer honored his offer and blew through him like everything I'd eaten over the past couple of.... Ew. Anyway, Offer won, and Kucharski looked to be going home in the NJ Champ jersey. Until, drama. Offer lives in NJ, and had changed his addy and license, but the NY racing license hadn't changed in time for the race. Or had it? After 20 minutes of Jim Bernstein talking in hushed tones on the phone and whole lot of there-is-no-good-way-for-this-to-end prognostication, Offer decided he was still a NY'er in his heart during the race and everyone went home a winner. Much classy.
For the last race of the day, which except for the podiums and the HB folks, no one saw, Aspholm pulled a full Towner and solo'd for the win. Behind him Bruno, who'd gone with Roger when he made his move on the second lap, spent a whole lotta time hanging-in-there-kitty while John Niesly slowly reeled him in, making it a twosome on lap 4. They rode, tiny gruppo compato, for the rest of the race, with Kniesly making his move at the bottom of the long descent. By the time we saw them again, on the rise, Bruno had answered and called. The chicanes saw an eight bike distance between 'em, making it Aspholm, Bruno and Kniesly, followed by a relentless Michael Margarite and a severely worked-over Szymon Niemotko. Given a better start Margarite might have upset one or two apple carts. He promised to do better next time
The tape came down, and I stopped talking into a piece of smelly metal grating and helped break my little corner of the race into it's pieces-parts. My pieces were coming apart. The digger I took the during the group ride at Chimney Rock was more than the lil boof I'd originally thought. I felt like I'd been worked over with a bag of unripe oranges. The course was it's same unrelenting sequence of horror, but the sun was out, and lots of folks held up admirably. I've missed everyone, I realize. Announcing has nothing to do with racing. Racing, even on a day like Sunday, is fun. Unless you watch @1sh0t1b33r remount his bike. That curdled the milk in my coffee. Someone help him.
On the road with a gut full of horror and a thermos of coffee. By 7:30 Jim Bernstein and I had figured out where all the pluggy-inny bits had got to and had noise coming out of the PA. A pad got connected and the first of thirty attempts to keep Spotify running throughout the day was attempted.
At 7:45 I was able to begin annoying folks on the reg'lar. Took a couple of breaks to sadden-up the interior of the porta-john, but for the most part, stood there like a hat rack for the whole day, trying not to be too much of an asshole...
Started the day with the 4s. Ben Douglas won. He ripped the first couple laps, burnt a book of matches and watched Josh Noggle bridge and gap him. Then he watched Noggle's derailleur explode and steady-eddied for the win. Pretty fun stuff, early on, esp. when I learned that the 2nd place riders name WASN'T WHAT I'D BEEN CALLING HIM. Mr. Chris Bowie signed in as Grant Aidner, took his number and podium'd before anyone was the wiser.
The next race was a clusterfuck of 5s and 40+4/5s. I really wanted to try to get the front of BOTH of these races at least partially correct. I think I was close. And I think they were good races. I couldn't really tell. It was just a horror-show from where I stood. Like a grenade of horrible lycra color clashes had gone off in my face. Way too many people on course, esp. given the paucity of folks toward the end of the day. At the risk of sounding ungrateful for the fun I had in the 40+4/5s, if this cat was ditched and even HALF of those folks raced in the 40+ masters later on, the day might be more evenly spread and the 40+4/5s could get a longer race. OTOH we would miss the complaints that come from this field. Chapeau to @1sh0t1b33r for a solid 7th on a singlespeed - the worst choice since Napoleon looked at the map and said, "Waterloo, that looks nice!"
As the Juniors took of in their adorable waves, I began to feel faint. I'd already been on my feet for 3.5 hours, the sun had established itself as the day's biggest PITA, and my head was cooking. Note to self: always. bring. the. fucking. canopy. At least I had a hat and some sunscreen.
Was extra careful not be be a dick during the Junior's races, and tried to call 'em all out as they went through the barriers. Some of them are race-ready, and could prolly beat the asses off most of the rest of us (Ben Douglas, racing AGAIN after winning the 4s earlier, for example. He will knock the teeth out of your face and eat them like chicklets. And Tommy Shapiro will stare the blood out of your body. Ripping efforts from both of them at the front of the 15-18 race.)
There were a few moments before the next race had to be called to the line, during which @Dominos was kind enuf to take food from her babies and give it to me, as there was nothing on site and I was thinking I might be able to do solids. Great success! @Santapez stole some wheels from my van & @MissJR seemed like she was incredibly almost sanguine about being there. Lots of folks spotted and high fived. @MadisonDan spread the MTBNJ.COM canopy's wings, sadly way down on the other side of tent row and @jShort began fine tuning his sybelline prophecy. (Nailed it.)
The 50+ field was a lot of fun, esp. the down to the wire sprint of Schepisi and Kahl for the State Championship, as well as 2nd and 3rd on the day. I, of course, thought there was another lap to go. (Happily, Masters racers know they have to be responsible for their race. Read the cards, listen for the bell. Period. I'm not in a blue shirt. I just have a mic. That's pretty much the ONLY difference between me and the homeless guy jerking off in the woods at the bottom of the big hill. Oh, you didn't see him? N'mind.)
60+ was a Larry Towner administered beating. There was almost 12 hours of daylight between him and the hard-fought duel for second between Troianello and Kennedy. They took it to the line as well, with Kennedy edging Ed at the line. I was later hepped to the fact that Ed dropped his chain at the bottom of the descent and Kennedy sat up and waited. If you're super-classy when no one can see you, does it count?
Then ALL the women's field were dumped out onto the field. I wish there was a way to magically make more women race in NJ. PA had over 40 combined. We had 15. The racing was great, esp. when Lauren Twombly kept charging Lianna Pacifico for the State Championship jersey in the 3/4/5s, but there was so much air between racers I thought it was the men's A race. Still, everyone was still here and the vibe was awesome, esp. around the hill and the HB and MTBNJ.COM tents. It's amazing how much that helped keep the race fun for folks. Well, me anyhoo. I kept it interesting by calling the women's 3/4/5s done when they had another lap to go. I think Jill White, who won, hates me.
Eric Paulsen, who had a terrible race, but an awesome time, kept putting food in my mouth, for which I am deeply indebted. And for the beers, as well. If you want your kids to be happy fat alcoholics, let Eric and Kat babysit.
The 40+ Masters saw Ralf Warmuth teach the super-strong newbie Chris Forenbaher how to read lap cards. When Warmuth posted up, Forenbaher's carefully planned strategy of beating him on the next lap fell to pieces. (Ed Troianello taught me that at the 2nd Marty's race back at Greystone - read the card, kid, or I'll beat your ass. He beat my ass.) Forenbaher wouldn't have won anyhoo. Warmuth is sooooooo good at this stuff. @Delish reached out from behind the Evenflo and ripped third from @jShort's grip. A solid 4th for @jShort. Brandy Boyle hung like a Brown Marmorated Stink Bug on a screen for 5th.
The B's saw Mike Kucharski tow Brendan Offer around for a couple of laps. Then Offer honored his offer and blew through him like everything I'd eaten over the past couple of.... Ew. Anyway, Offer won, and Kucharski looked to be going home in the NJ Champ jersey. Until, drama. Offer lives in NJ, and had changed his addy and license, but the NY racing license hadn't changed in time for the race. Or had it? After 20 minutes of Jim Bernstein talking in hushed tones on the phone and whole lot of there-is-no-good-way-for-this-to-end prognostication, Offer decided he was still a NY'er in his heart during the race and everyone went home a winner. Much classy.
For the last race of the day, which except for the podiums and the HB folks, no one saw, Aspholm pulled a full Towner and solo'd for the win. Behind him Bruno, who'd gone with Roger when he made his move on the second lap, spent a whole lotta time hanging-in-there-kitty while John Niesly slowly reeled him in, making it a twosome on lap 4. They rode, tiny gruppo compato, for the rest of the race, with Kniesly making his move at the bottom of the long descent. By the time we saw them again, on the rise, Bruno had answered and called. The chicanes saw an eight bike distance between 'em, making it Aspholm, Bruno and Kniesly, followed by a relentless Michael Margarite and a severely worked-over Szymon Niemotko. Given a better start Margarite might have upset one or two apple carts. He promised to do better next time
The tape came down, and I stopped talking into a piece of smelly metal grating and helped break my little corner of the race into it's pieces-parts. My pieces were coming apart. The digger I took the during the group ride at Chimney Rock was more than the lil boof I'd originally thought. I felt like I'd been worked over with a bag of unripe oranges. The course was it's same unrelenting sequence of horror, but the sun was out, and lots of folks held up admirably. I've missed everyone, I realize. Announcing has nothing to do with racing. Racing, even on a day like Sunday, is fun. Unless you watch @1sh0t1b33r remount his bike. That curdled the milk in my coffee. Someone help him.
ChrisG
Unapologetic Lifer for Rock and Roll
Gah! I knew there was something up. You don't finish like a super-model, but Sunday was extra grim. Didn't help that you were racing on the face of the sun, uphill. Hope you're feeling better?