Be the doughnut! (or, how I learned to stop worrying and enjoy mediocrity)

Mountain Bike Mike

Well-Known Member
Shit, I want your training plan... 7 hours in six weeks and still finishes 30 something at Natz.

Enjoyed the recap.. especially the part about Domino's pep talk.. LOL'd
 

Mountain Bike Mike

Well-Known Member
Not even close to 30-something. more like high 40's.

when-i-found-out-my-boyfriend-has-a-fake-reddit-account-just-to-comment-on-his-main-accounts-posts-15362.gif
 

Leadman

Formerly: Harry Hamilton
Making it through the holidays with any semblance of fitness is hard. This is particularly true when you don’t start the holiday season with any. With the goal of having a decent race at Nationals it was my intent to a block of training and rebuild between Thanksgiving and New Year. Much easier said than done. What actually happened is that I stayed sick and instead of piling on the training miles, I piled on heaping spoonfuls of guilt for every extra cookie or extra bottle of wine I consumed.

By the numbers: Between Thanksgiving and the end of the year I trained 7 hours--Not 7 hours per week--7 hours. Total. In 6 weeks.

By Christmas, it was obvious to me that my Nationals race would not be for anything but the experience of attending a high production value event and as possibly my one and only opportunity to race nationals without having to get on an airplane. In other words, race for the fun or racing. This is supposed to be fun, right?

Later than I should have, checked the race predictor/call-up list on the USAC website and discovered that I was projected to come in something like 97th. I knew it was going to be a strong field but dudes I routinely battle with (Nick M for example) were projected to come in the 30’s 40’s. Hmm. Odd.

I do a little digging and learn that USAC rankings (basically a rip-off of crossresults.com rankings) are calculated on your average for the best 5 races within the preceding 12 months. If you don’t have 5 races, they average in 600 points for each missing race. I raced exactly 5 times this season, and while I had a couple really mediocre races I never had a terrible race so I couldn’t understand the ranking. Then I discovered that my 4th place at Emmaus wasn’t showing up. I emailed the promoter who did what he could and I submitted a request with USAC but as far as I can tell they don’t actually give a shit about this sort of thing. As a result, I was seeded last row.

I will admit, I thought seriously about bagging Nationals at this point. What’s the point of driving 2+ hours to race for 45 minutes when five of those minutes would be spent standing around at the first pinch point waiting for traffic to clear. But thanks to some sensitive and nurturing words from @Dominos (I think her words were “stop being a wanker, put on your big girl panties and go race your goddamn bike”. I’m paraphrasing of course)

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On Thursday night, I packed up the paddy wagon with 2 bikes, 14 wheels, 1 fluid trainer, and a bunch of other random crap. Just before arriving to the race parking, the Jetta in front of me decided it would be easier to slow down by smashing into a another car at 40mph than by applying his brakes. I narrowly avoided the Jetta as he spun across two lanes and parked the car just as the initial adrenaline high was wearing off.

I tooled around, found @seanrunnette , @Harry Hamilton @MadisonDan and @jShort and we ready to hop on course during the 11AM pre-ride. I was super stoked about the course after the pre-ride. As Colin Reuter said to me after his race, the course was “wicked haahd bike handling with almost no pedaling.” A perfect course for me. Super tricky frozen ruts, slippery, technical, no too hilly, very few power secations. Then the sun came out and warmed everything up.

By our 1:40 race, the course was super muddy in the sunny areas and most of the really challenging ice lines were soft enough to give a lot of grip. Shitttt. What was a skill course had become much more powery.

I put on my race stuff, rode around a bit and bumped into Erin and Angelo who graciously offered to pit for me then sped through foot traffic to make last call to staging. As mentioned, I was basically last row. Behind Jeremy and Dan A. We chatted, made jokes, tried to hear the race announcements but gave up on that because we were a mile away from the line. And without much warning, the whitle blew!

We waited…waited…waited. The Go! Stop. Go! Slow. Go! I found a couple holes then set myself up to take the right hand line through the first sweeper and stayed hard right close to the tape before the pit entrance #1. It worked and I passed a bunch of people until I heard “rider down” and had to go full lock to avoid smashing into a pile of bodies. After untangling some handlebars from my rear wheel I was off again.

First time up the anthill, I went middle line. At the top the conga line was moving until near the end, so I stepped down a couple feet to a non-line and ran past probably 10-15 guys who were stacked up at the pinch point at the end of the run. Through the woods I worked to pick off guys one at a time and probably passed another 5 by the time we hit the drainage dip where I promptly crashed and smashed my left hip. Luckily no damage to the bike. I run the “dip” and try to get back in the groove.

After that it was just a game of picking off guys one by one…trying to be smooth and not make mistakes. Running up the ant hill the second time, I noticed how heavy my bike had gotten so I told my faithful pit crew I was coming in next lap. Erin and the crew executed a perfect bike swap but a half a lap later the said that the power washers were out of water and there was nothing they could do. I pitted again on the next lap and took the still-heavy A bike back.

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I tried a different line on the ant hill every lap. They all sucked. The low rut was really hard to ride and the high line had gotten impossible to ride. The running was way harder that it looked on TV, with roots and rocks and big ankle twisting holes.

One to go: https://twitter.com/usacycling/status/817449306491863040

I bled spots on the power sections and re-passed guys in the techy bits. Last lap I made sure to get in front of a couple guys before the woods and rode them clean to get daylight except at this point I only had about 3 working gears. The ice and mud was starting to re-freeze and wreak havoc. It’s the first time I’ve ever noticed the Di2 rear derailleur miss a shift.

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After the race Kathryn and Andrew were waiting for me after the line with my race bag and warm jackets. Super pro support from those cats. After 5 minutes of cursing the blood returned to my fingers and I could start to talk again.


I think the race went about as well as could be expected given the situation. I passed something like 50 to 60 people and finished right about where Crossresults had predicted. With a last row start, I’ll take it. My lap times were relatively consistent with only 1 actual crash. But mostly, it was a really fun course to race. So…winning?

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After the race, Sean bought me two amazing beef empanadas. We stood around in the beer tent to get warm then I got in the car and made it home by toddler dinner time. We put the kids to bed, ate copious amounts of Saag Paneer and Dal Makahni, drank a couple beers and went to sleep feeling pretty content about another season ending.


Great recap and read!
 

Delish

Well-Known Member
Team MTBNJ Halter's
OK! Wow. So it has been almost exactly one year since I posted on this blog-a-ma-thing, and what a year it has been! 2017 was at times a veritable fiesta of fecal-matter-in-fan-blades but in other way quite splendid.

The highlights:
* We made a person
* The dog-child is finally settling down and is (generally) making good decisions
* Work is starting to return to normal-crazy from its peak of crazy-crazy

It wasn’t a great year in terms of quantity of riding but I put zero pressure on myself to train and was able to enjoy being able to ride without feeling like it was a job. Also, I got to ride more with @Dominos than in the past couple years combined.

The bike-related less-than-highlights:
*Total ride time was about half what it was 2 years ago (135 hours vs 260)
*My longest ride was a 28.0 miles, a true feat of human achievement.

I put this handy chart together to summarize the inverse correlation, perhaps even causation of riding time and mediocrity:
24768096907_69fcf92ec7.jpg


I was pumped to have gotten a couple CX races in this season and also that @Dominos pinned a number on a couple times despite having made the aforementioned human earlier in the year. Also, I’m happy to report that I still enjoy racing quite a bit even though my fitness is pretty dismal compared to where it was in 2015. I think @Dominos felt the same. I don’t know that I’ve really embraced mediocrity but I really wasn’t sure whether racing would still be fun dangling off the back. The verdict is that racing solo in small fields on tired local courses where you end up doing a 40 minute solo TT is kinda boring, but it’s still fun as hell to race wheel-to-wheel with other dudes even if you’re somewhere in the middle instead of somewhere close to the front. Also, races with a good atmosphere are more fun.

I have no idea what the year holds in terms of riding or racing or this blog. Having just scanned through the whole thing I can summarize the blog content thus far as: Nipple Talk; Dog Poo Talk; Bike Riding Talk. Probably in that order. 2018, I hope, willbe a better year for both riding and adding content that amuses and delights.
 

stb222

Love Drunk
Jerk Squad
OK! Wow. So it has been almost exactly one year since I posted on this blog-a-ma-thing, and what a year it has been! 2017 was at times a veritable fiesta of fecal-matter-in-fan-blades but in other way quite splendid.

The highlights:
* We made a person
* The dog-child is finally settling down and is (generally) making good decisions
* Work is starting to return to normal-crazy from its peak of crazy-crazy

It wasn’t a great year in terms of quantity of riding but I put zero pressure on myself to train and was able to enjoy being able to ride without feeling like it was a job. Also, I got to ride more with @Dominos than in the past couple years combined.

The bike-related less-than-highlights:
*Total ride time was about half what it was 2 years ago (135 hours vs 260)
*My longest ride was a 28.0 miles, a true feat of human achievement.

I put this handy chart together to summarize the inverse correlation, perhaps even causation of riding time and mediocrity:
24768096907_69fcf92ec7.jpg


I was pumped to have gotten a couple CX races in this season and also that @Dominos pinned a number on a couple times despite having made the aforementioned human earlier in the year. Also, I’m happy to report that I still enjoy racing quite a bit even though my fitness is pretty dismal compared to where it was in 2015. I think @Dominos felt the same. I don’t know that I’ve really embraced mediocrity but I really wasn’t sure whether racing would still be fun dangling off the back. The verdict is that racing solo in small fields on tired local courses where you end up doing a 40 minute solo TT is kinda boring, but it’s still fun as hell to race wheel-to-wheel with other dudes even if you’re somewhere in the middle instead of somewhere close to the front. Also, races with a good atmosphere are more fun.

I have no idea what the year holds in terms of riding or racing or this blog. Having just scanned through the whole thing I can summarize the blog content thus far as: Nipple Talk; Dog Poo Talk; Bike Riding Talk. Probably in that order. 2018, I hope, willbe a better year for both riding and adding content that amuses and delights.
Any chart that even remotely looks like a wiener is a winner.
 

Magic

Formerly 1sh0t1b33r
Team MTBNJ Halter's
Subscribed for lulz. Thanks for sharing, and hope to see yourself and @Dominos in sprinkles in the fall once more!
 

jShort

2018 Fantasy Football Toilet Bowl Lead Technician
Team MTBNJ Halter's
Ok, I'm not sure how to feel about you hardly doing anything and still beating me at Marty cross. ;)

Your results from the effort you put in tell me it wouldn't take much more and you could still be pretty respectable in NJ cross A's and MAC 35+.
 

Delish

Well-Known Member
Team MTBNJ Halter's
Ok, I'm not sure how to feel about you hardly doing anything and still beating me at Marty cross. ;)

Your results from the effort you put in tell me it wouldn't take much more and you could still be pretty respectable in NJ cross A's and MAC 35+.

In all honesty, I put in a pretty good block of trainig (mostly Wed Worlds sessions) in August/Sept so if my season had a peak it was probably right around Marty's. You raced pretty much nonstop from Short Track through Nov so I'd have to assume you had some built up fatigue?
 

Delish

Well-Known Member
Team MTBNJ Halter's
There are a lot of reasons I don't ride a bike as much as I'd like to. Here's one of them:

6 Days of travel in India, including 8 flights, 4 hotel rooms, umpteen terrifying hours on the road, 1 man-eating Bengal tiger, quite a few Kingfisher beers, and countless paratha, dosas, rots, naan chapatis, all compressed into 1.5 minutes for your convenience.



Seeing a Bengal Tiger in the wild was definitely the highlight of an otherwise excruciating trip. There are only about 2500 left in existence in the wild and I was lucky enough to see one last time I went to India as well. This time, a male tiger walked out of the jungle 50 meters front of our jeep and casually walked in front of us for a good 20 minutes marking trees along the way before sauntering off into the jungle again. I later learned the Tiger (named Matkasur) was the same individual that ate a guy in May who had climbed down from an census observation tower to take a dump. Apparently they Indian government doesn't take action against tigers until they eat three people.

Here's a photo I took with my potato-phone:
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Tigers are but one of millions of things that might kill or seriously injure you while traveling in India. You are about six times more likely to die from an automobile accident in India than in the U.K. so ironically, being 100 feet away from a man-eating Tiger in an open-top jeep was the safest I felt riding in a vehicle the whole trip.

Bike Stuff:
I've picked up the Zwift ball again since returning from the trip which has really improved my motivation to ride indoors although I don't have any idea whether I'll be racing any MTBs this year. I also finally sent my Lefty down to Halters for the 2Spring recall/upgrade and looking forward to riding a MTB again some time in the future.
 

UtahJoe

Team Workhorse
Team MTBNJ Halter's
SO SO Jealous of your seat on the plane...thats awesome.

Bengal Tigers in India, Japanese Hornets in your hotel you....Maybe you should start making wildlife shows.
 

gtluke

The Moped
I heard a stat once that there are more tigers in Texas than in the wild. They are definitely the coolest looking death machine.
 

Delish

Well-Known Member
Team MTBNJ Halter's
Of Cats
I heard a stat once that there are more tigers in Texas than in the wild. They are definitely the coolest looking death machine.

I was skeptical about this but it seems that it may in fact be true. Apparently in Texas there have been a few failed pieces of legislation trying to ban owning Tigers but the tradition of keeping backyard tigers seems to be woven into the crazyfabric of Texas culture. #don'tmesswithmytiger

I dunno, I still hate cats.

Of Bikes and Faces
I finally rode a bike outside last week on our typical local lunchtime dirt/ATV trails. The snow was perfect for 40c cross tires. What was not perfect was the frozen puddles, which consisted of a layer of very hollow sounding ice. At some point @Dominos broke through the crust of a frozen puddle and nearly went OTB and not more than 5 seconds later I broke through a frozen puddle and did go OTB landing HARD on my face. She thought I had died. I wasn't quite sure for a minute whether I had died. I didn't die but my face still hurts 5 days later. I had my hands in Bar Mitts at the time and couldn't put my hands out to break my fall, which is probably the reason my face hit so hard, but at least I didn't break my wrists AND hurt my face. For unrelated medical reasons I'm off the bike for a week but I hope to be cleared by Friday.

Of Food
We have joined the Instant Pot revolution. I think we used it 3 or 4 times yesterday alone: Steel Cut Oats in the morning, rice & pearled barley in the evening and some other things. It definitely cooks some things faster but I'm not sure whether it's worth the hype just yet. Anybody on the Instat-Train?

IP-DUO80.png
 

Magic

Formerly 1sh0t1b33r
Team MTBNJ Halter's
I don't know about hype, but we have a rice cooker/steamer similar to that with less fancy buttons. Steams frozen dumplings in 8 minutes or so, and it's nice to set and forget rice and have it perfectly ready to eat without stirring and checking the pot from boiling over. I made chili in it once and used it as a slow cooker, which it does just as well. Good stuff.

I heard about your crash. Glad you're alright. Bar Mitts, never again?
 

gtluke

The Moped
Of Cats


I was skeptical about this but it seems that it may in fact be true. Apparently in Texas there have been a few failed pieces of legislation trying to ban owning Tigers but the tradition of keeping backyard tigers seems to be woven into the crazyfabric of Texas culture. #don'tmesswithmytiger

I dunno, I still hate cats.

Of Bikes and Faces
I finally rode a bike outside last week on our typical local lunchtime dirt/ATV trails. The snow was perfect for 40c cross tires. What was not perfect was the frozen puddles, which consisted of a layer of very hollow sounding ice. At some point @Dominos broke through the crust of a frozen puddle and nearly went OTB and not more than 5 seconds later I broke through a frozen puddle and did go OTB landing HARD on my face. She thought I had died. I wasn't quite sure for a minute whether I had died. I didn't die but my face still hurts 5 days later. I had my hands in Bar Mitts at the time and couldn't put my hands out to break my fall, which is probably the reason my face hit so hard, but at least I didn't break my wrists AND hurt my face. For unrelated medical reasons I'm off the bike for a week but I hope to be cleared by Friday.

Of Food
We have joined the Instant Pot revolution. I think we used it 3 or 4 times yesterday alone: Steel Cut Oats in the morning, rice & pearled barley in the evening and some other things. It definitely cooks some things faster but I'm not sure whether it's worth the hype just yet. Anybody on the Instat-Train?

IP-DUO80.png
There was some crazy cat lady in Jackson NJ like 20 years ago that lost a Tiger. IIRC she claimed the tiger people kept seeing wasn't hers, but it was. She had 20 something tigers! I believe after that she had to get rid of them.
 
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