Ben Sundgren
New Member
This is a new thread for everybody who wants to be around, my awesomeness. That's right, MY AWESOMENESS. Because, let's face it. If I kick you in the nuts, what are you going to do? I mean, seriously, what are you going to do? I know what you're gonna do:
You're gonna just stand there, holding your nuts and crying like widdle baby aren't you? AREN"T YOU! And I know why, too: getting kicked in the nuts hurts! I got kicked in the nuts once in 5th grade. It really hurt. I told the playground aide and she didn't do nothing. Still shocked by that.... BUT ANYWAY:
As a coach, it's my job to punch you in the face. Cause - seriously - what would you do if I punched you in the face? HAHAHA SERIOUSLY......what are you gonna' do? Damn it, sorry. Let's get back to coaching.
As a coach, we all have to remember that we are riding our bikes in circles in the woods. And nothing, NOTHING, is as important as that. Not your family, not your friends, not your bank account, and certainly not your silly career. You hear me? NOTHING!
Because - because - when you grace that podium, when you stand on one of those steps and look around at the nine people who are still at the race - one of whom is a girlfriend who got dragged to this stupid race anyway and is freezing and can't wait to get in the car and put the heat on - and you feel that plastic trophy in your hands, you will know that you are a WARRIOR.
And, of course, as you stand there, gazing into the distance, you'll see ME. And, trust me, there is no better sight than that. I know, I get to see it every morning when I look in the mirror. Put simply: I'm awesome.
And you can be too. Contact me here if you want to leave your whimp-ass existence behind and become a TRUE WARRRRRRRRRIIIIOOORRRR. That's right, come out and play with the big boy. Come out and go old-school; come out and learn to dance WHILE the earth is turning, and give me whatever money you have left - after spending most of it on a carbon-fiber bike - and be COMPLETE.
My new business, "COMPLETE REWARDANCE" is accepting new clients now. Space is limited. Details coming.
-Ben Sundgren
(Coach Ben)
You're gonna just stand there, holding your nuts and crying like widdle baby aren't you? AREN"T YOU! And I know why, too: getting kicked in the nuts hurts! I got kicked in the nuts once in 5th grade. It really hurt. I told the playground aide and she didn't do nothing. Still shocked by that.... BUT ANYWAY:
As a coach, it's my job to punch you in the face. Cause - seriously - what would you do if I punched you in the face? HAHAHA SERIOUSLY......what are you gonna' do? Damn it, sorry. Let's get back to coaching.
As a coach, we all have to remember that we are riding our bikes in circles in the woods. And nothing, NOTHING, is as important as that. Not your family, not your friends, not your bank account, and certainly not your silly career. You hear me? NOTHING!
Because - because - when you grace that podium, when you stand on one of those steps and look around at the nine people who are still at the race - one of whom is a girlfriend who got dragged to this stupid race anyway and is freezing and can't wait to get in the car and put the heat on - and you feel that plastic trophy in your hands, you will know that you are a WARRIOR.
And, of course, as you stand there, gazing into the distance, you'll see ME. And, trust me, there is no better sight than that. I know, I get to see it every morning when I look in the mirror. Put simply: I'm awesome.
And you can be too. Contact me here if you want to leave your whimp-ass existence behind and become a TRUE WARRRRRRRRRIIIIOOORRRR. That's right, come out and play with the big boy. Come out and go old-school; come out and learn to dance WHILE the earth is turning, and give me whatever money you have left - after spending most of it on a carbon-fiber bike - and be COMPLETE.
My new business, "COMPLETE REWARDANCE" is accepting new clients now. Space is limited. Details coming.
-Ben Sundgren
(Coach Ben)
